Post on the local community page about men

[JaneBoulton]

My local community page on Facebook keeps getting a marriage of women praising 'men' when they've seen them out doing this bare minimum. Basic parenting. This woman has posted (see picture) that 'it's nice to see dads in the park playing with their kids.'

does this not negatively impact women? Why should men get a fluffy shoutout for taking their kids to the park, women don't get a special shout out. The 'giving mums a break for 'rest bite'.. really? Yay for a man doing what he should be doing and supervising his child. Like it's something we've got to be thankful for.

trivial as it may be it riled me up the wrong way. Is the bar really that low for men? AIBU? The poster who posted this is giving me really bad pick me menz apologist vibes.

Absolutely not! The menz are generous enough towards us..

OP you could post that you are feeling proud of yourself as you took your dd to the park to give your dp a healthy balance and rest bite.

Urgh. This is as annoying as when dads get praise for “babysitting” their own kids.

Im a full time dad, my wife earns most of the money. I work a bit, online. When we lived in the UK i didn't find it that unusual, but now we live in Italy, peoples opinion and behaviours are wierd. I feel both approved of, and disapproved of, at the same time, by the same person. Every women leaps to praise and criticise. I've never once been to the park here, without someone giving me their ten pence worth about our life choices. My son is 9 now, and we've been doing this since he was born. Ultimately though, i think dads are just missing out, and the whole gender roles stereotype is wierd and unneccassary in this day and age. I know some men who spend less than two hours a day with their kids. What was the point in having them?

Fab idea!

I'll add on there that I've just peeled an orange for DD too, to save her dad doing it so he can get some rest bite.

My sis and BIL have 3 kids. I remember my sis telling me about a flight where her husband in the seat in front of her with the oldest easy child on a flight was absolutely gushed over for being such a wonderful dad and she behind him with the two feral toddlers got nothing 😂

It's possible that "LesleyfromSurrey" would use the same excuse for respite turning into "rest bite". Just a thought ...

A few years back my DP actually posted a picture of him and his daughter on fb with the caption ‘daddy daughter day’ obviously he then got all the comments of how amazing he was etc, I did have to say something about the double standards and actually then proved to him that if I post me taking my kids out I don’t get told how amazing I am etc, he’s not done it since 😂

One of my colleagues is a single dad, mother not around and it winds me up the way he is praised as some kind of God for doing what women do every day.

I'm local and saw this too! Rolled my eyes at it.

Also, I dare you to post on Farnham Rants about it. 😂

When DS was a baby and I was at home with him all week DH always took him out on a Saturday morning so I could have a lie in (or “rest bite”). He would always get comments like “are you on mummy duty today” which really pissed him off, no it’s just called being a dad.

HAHAHAHAH

The posts have to get approved don't they? Shall I give it ago 😂

(if I get rinsed please defend me) 🫣

Yes, far in the distance there is a man and a small child.

Oh no! at least lesson learned 😀

Nauseating.

I remember when I used to go running with a group on Saturday morning, some of the women would ask "So where are the kids now then?" and I would be like "Er, with DH..." 🤯 Where did they think they would be?

Well I didn’t say I thought it was effective! That’s just what I’ve always assumed the motive of women posting that sort of thing was. I hear it in that sort of faux excited voice you sometimes use to chivvy kids along, or praise dogs with. “Aren’t you clever then?”

the "how great dads are" shite really annoys me.

Like all those "look what this fab dad did when he was babysitting while his wife was out" cue loads of babies duct-taped to the walls etc.

Make. It. Stop.

I also enjoy seeing dads out with their kids so I probably would have liked the post. I remember when the Covid lockdowns started and suddenly our local park was full of dads with kids and i remember thinking it was a lovely sight.

My husband actually laughed out load when I went away and his mate asked how he was going to manage babysitting DS for 3 days.

he looked puzzled when DH pointed out he does not babysit his own son, he parents his son.

I agree, OP.

Although, I'm taking some small comfort from the fact she didn't put an apostrophe in Mums and Dads (even if she did unnecessarily capitalise the first letter...)

Yes I've had people saying to me what an amazing person X is, he manages to get the kids uniforms and pack ups sorted in the mornings and get them to school and EVERYTHING alongside his job. X is a single dad and no doubt it's not easy (I'm a single mum) but women do this day in and day out and being quietly ignored is the best we can hope for. At worst we're told we're crap parents who aren't doing enough with the kids, aren't working enough hours, are generally not framing up at all.

Absolutely will defend you!

I hate it when people do that. Really bugs my sense's!

@JaneBoultonI can imagine the reactions if that was posted on Farnham Rants! 😂😂