Fed up with my friend putting everything on Instagram

[JenniKL]

One of my close friends is fairly recently single. Since then, every time we go somewhere it seems like she is documenting EVERYTHING on to her instagram story and it is getting really annoying.

Example yesterday, waitress brings us over a couple of cocktails and I go to take a sip, to which my friend basically shouts stop and I wondered what was up thinking there was a bug in there or something. No, she just wanted to video us ‘cheers’ing’ whilst my glass was still full 🙄

I have discretely asked her why she is doing this, and she said that it’s so men know she’s available and if you aren’t using social media then people won’t be interested.

I’m lucky in that I’ve been with my husband for over 10 years meeting in my Uni days which mainly pre-dates the emergence of social media/dating apps, but is this really how people would meet these days?! If you aren’t on instagram then you are out of the dating game seems ridiculous!

Maybe she's trying to make it as an influencer

She sounds ridiculous. Tell her you really don’t like her filming and posting while she’s with you. That it ruins the night for you. If she doesn’t stop doing it, stop meeting up with her. There is no need to accommodate what other people want to your own detriment and if anyone thinks you should, they are selfish and not worthy of your friendship

She's insecure & seeking approval & attention. Understandable after a break up, but very annoying when you're forced to participate.

I could not be ok with this.

I would be asking not to be filmed and if the Instagram stuff could possibly go on hold whilst we catch up. It's a real breach of people's autonomy and privacy all this stuff and I fear how much this is being normalised.

Just tell her you don't want to be in social media

Jeepers how old is she?

I couldn’t handle this it would drive me batty

Agree with a pp tell her this ruins the evening for you and you’d rather catch up

if she cool the friendship- which I know is hard as she sounds dreadfully depressed

my sister is the same except it’s photos of my DD !!!!!! pretending they are having an awesome time except she swans in has a photo disappears off to doom scroll later … Drives me crazy

It's her insecurity. She's desperate for attentional and approval. You can sort of understand if she's had her confidence knocked but maybe just explain to her you don't want to be on social media

So men know she is available 😂😂😂😂

Absolutely laughable yet somewhat sad

I find it really disrespectful when friends or family post pictures or videos of me and my family on social media without permission. My dh has no social media, I have accounts but never post anything. I find that you can’t really go out socially these days without ending on someone’s facebook instagram or WhatsApp group chats. Hate it.

Just tell her to drop you out of it and stick to it 🤷‍♂️

She obviously has issues around insecurity, so I wouldn't pass judgement as long as it doesn't affect me.

And if you stick to your guns, it won't.

Is it that you don’t want to be in the pictures, or just find the habit generally annoying? One you can speak out about. The other I’d just be eye rolling at.

I’m not in the photos, the cheers one was just of the glasses being ‘knocked’ together (god that is cringe to type!).

I just find it sad that everything has to be photographed and posted, e.g food, or the photo of a brand/logo on the menu if we are in a nice restaurant.

I find I keep saying this same thing over and over again on MN - but what you allow is what will continue. Just tell her to pack it in and don’t participate!

It’s annoying, but if the breakup was pretty recent she’s clearly going through a hard time/identity crisis so I would humour her for a while.

Makes me think of this story - A woman sent back her order of pancakes because there was syrup on them and she had wanted the syrup on the side. Obviously the syrupy pancakes had to be discarded and a fresh plate of pancakes was made for her, and served to her, with a little jug of syrup.

She proceeded to take out her phone and opened up her Instagram live to video herself pouring the sauce on the pancakes.

All my friends know that I never post anything, and they crop me out of their pics. Just tell her your preferences!

I bet she's still friends with her ex on Insta and trying to make him jealous seeing what a great time she's having.

Yeah. And I wouldn’t be all faux “ooh is this really a thing? How sad. But then I met my husband at uni 10 years ago, before apps were a thing”.

Laughable that you claim social media wasn’t big in 2015, and very unwise to be so smug when you’re probably only late 20s and there’s a 50/50 chance that your marriage won’t go the distance either.

Poor woman, so what if she’s taking photos of cocktails and trying to show her ex that she’s ok even though she’s obviously hurting? She needs a mate, not someone who just wants to bitch about her online.

Yeah it’s a bit desperate isn’t it.

Not a great look - I’d assume maybe she’s a bit lonely and insecure underneath it all.

Are you the friend by any chance? Very odd reply.

I agree with @CountryQueentbh - just humour her, she’s hurting. And you never know what the future holds for you.

Nope. Just experienced in the way life can suddenly become something you don’t expect.

Advising the OP to be less smug and a better friend is not odd, it’s sensible.

Oh god she’s going through a breakup, if it was serious then just leave her be for a bit, if this is this worst thing she’s doing give her some grace, let her post on Instagram so men know she’s single, I’m sure you can wait 30 seconds for a sip to help out a friend.

If you're not in the photos, just eye roll to yourself and let her get on with it.
Each to their own.

Is your friend 16? 😅