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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This is really weird?

33 replies

Izzie902 · 13/04/2025 00:53

Earlier today I got a message on WhatsApp saying hey (my name) long time no speak.
I said who is this and they replied it's Harry from (city) we met on hinge.
I was in a relationship for over 3 years that recently broke up so I haven't been on any dating app for over 3 years.
I asked how long ago we talked and he replied oh it was a while ago, I said what 3+ years ? And he said yeah!

I cannot remember if I talked to him back then as it was so long ago.
But that is really weird right? Keeping my number all this time and just deciding to message me over 3 years later.

OP posts:
BakelikeBertha · 13/04/2025 00:56

That is definitely weird! Did you talk to him any further, ie, did he remind you about himself, what you'd discussed previously, anything that made you remember who he was ???

Flytrap01 · 13/04/2025 01:02

odd yes but if previously chatted and got along etc sometimes its better the ones you already connected with rather than Randoms, what was weird for me i used a spare number as my phone can use dual sim cards, only 2 people had the knowledge of the number (it was a fresh number for specific reason) and soon after discussion's with those people on that number i was getting spam texts that were specifc to recent events so either there phones had viruses etc or they were deliberate and very unprofessional of them.

long story short people can be unusual

Coffeeheaven · 13/04/2025 01:19

Could it be a scam? Or a stalker? I'd be very cautious. Especially if he hasn't confirmed any details. All he did was agree to what you said about it being more than three years. He also could have got your name from somewhere else.

Trashpalace · 13/04/2025 01:34

I don't think it is that unusual. But perhaps I am odd as I have contacts in my phone that I've not spoken to in years and I'm sure I've had circumstances of getting back in touch with someone I've not spoken to in years in this way

I can imagine a scenario where if he is single he is scrolling through his contacts and reaching out to you if he remembers you as someone pleasant.

Whether you keep in touch with him depends on what happened between you and it is entirely up to you if you want to correspond further with him.

Highly recommend the block feature for those you don't ever want to hear from again!

everythingeverything1981 · 13/04/2025 01:39

Was you your break up sensible? Could be your ex being a weirdo.

GentianCoffee · 13/04/2025 01:41

Sounds to me like a scam, beware.

Original poster
Izzie902 · 13/04/2025 01:44

BakelikeBertha · 13/04/2025 00:56

That is definitely weird! Did you talk to him any further, ie, did he remind you about himself, what you'd discussed previously, anything that made you remember who he was ???

I didn't, but I will

OP posts:
Original poster
Izzie902 · 13/04/2025 01:44

everythingeverything1981 · 13/04/2025 01:39

Was you your break up sensible? Could be your ex being a weirdo.

My friend said that it could be him 😂

OP posts:
Perimama · 13/04/2025 02:14

There are all types of scams doing the rounds. This sounds like one. I wouldn't engage and delete the message.

CurlewKate · 13/04/2025 03:49

It sounds like a scam. Delete. And change your passwords.

MadeForThis · 13/04/2025 04:38

I thought ex too. Either checking if you are OLD now or when you did last.

FidosMum84 · 13/04/2025 10:02

Not necessarily a scam, but could be. I was on dating sites years ago and got plenty of guys hitting me up months and years later with messages such as this. I think when they get bored they just go through their contact list and see who’ll respond hoping for some action. You’ll be one of many.

femfemlicious · 13/04/2025 10:04

If you had spoken to him o watsapp, his number should be o your watsapp already and you would see the old chats?

Naunet · 13/04/2025 10:23

I'm thinking it's your ex checking up on you too.

rainbowstardrops · 13/04/2025 10:27

My initial thought was scam. I had a WhatsApp a couple of weeks ago that just said, Hi there’ or something similar. Just blocked and deleted!

toomuchfaff · 13/04/2025 10:27

Izzie902 · 13/04/2025 01:44

My friend said that it could be him 😂

Show quote history

He said "Harry" - suppose it could be a common name, then you filled the blanks. Don't assume this is the "Harry" you're thinking, throw something in the conversation that definitely isn't "Harry" - something outlandish- "omg i remember you mentioning you were going hiking a round the world trip for 6 months, how did it go?"

See if he comes up with an answer.

Or just block him, who wants a random coming back after 3 years amyhow

Original poster
Izzie902 · 13/04/2025 13:37

femfemlicious · 13/04/2025 10:04

If you had spoken to him o watsapp, his number should be o your watsapp already and you would see the old chats?

I removed a lot of old chats from WhatsApp. I didn't give many people my number and when I did none of the chats lasted long enough to remember years later

OP posts:
Original poster
Izzie902 · 13/04/2025 13:39

rainbowstardrops · 13/04/2025 10:27

My initial thought was scam. I had a WhatsApp a couple of weeks ago that just said, Hi there’ or something similar. Just blocked and deleted!

Yeah I'll be careful could be a scam, but how would they know my name ?

OP posts:
JoyousEagle · 13/04/2025 13:42

I had this! A guy messaged like “hey X how are you” and I replied asking who he was. He then said we’d met on tinder “a while ago” and I said “it must have been quite a while ago, I’ve been married for 7 years!”

I don’t know if he was just going through every woman he’d ever messaged and seeing who’d reply 😂

rainbowstardrops · 13/04/2025 13:43

Izzie902 · 13/04/2025 13:39

Yeah I'll be careful could be a scam, but how would they know my name ?

Show quote history

Not sure but I’d be careful anyway. Even if it’s not a scam and it’s your ex, just block anyway?

travelforthesoul · 13/04/2025 13:45

scam, ex bf or just a random you messaged long ago. I would just delete and block if you dont want to chat. Dont give away any personal information though.

cakeandteaandcake · 13/04/2025 13:46

Sounds like a scam. Block and stop overthinking it.

Insomniacally · 13/04/2025 13:48

Scam. Fishing for active numbers. You’ll be on some bloody call list now you’ve replied and might find yourself getting spam calls multiple times a day.

MrsPeterHarris · 13/04/2025 14:05

I’m another who thinks scam & sadly now you’ve confirmed that it’s a genuine number!

XWKD · 13/04/2025 14:10

I remember getting a call, supposedly from my mother's friend, saying he needed money. The friend had recently died. Be careful.