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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband away for 2 weeks while pregnant, feeling emotional

47 replies

Poise123 · 12/04/2025 20:41

I’m around 21 weeks pregnant at the moment and my husband has travelled to his hometown for two weeks to visit his parents. We both moved overseas more than 2 years ago, during this time span my parents have visited me thrice but he hasn’t met his parents. Hence, he wanted a break from work as well and wanted to meet his parents. He made sure that my mom could come stay with me so that he could travel. I miss him terribly more than usual and more than I expected. This is not the first time that we are away from each other since marriage but this is something beyond what I expected.
I cried a lot this morning before he left and he got teary as well. I know very well that it’s only a matter of 14 days and he will be back soon and I’ve been trying to keep myself busy. I do have my mom with me right now. I’m not sure if it’s the emotions in pregnancy that’s making me feel this way. I know for a fact that our baby is definitely missing his presence too. I’m unable to explain how I’m feeling at the moment. The bed feels so empty without my husband and I’ve not been able to concentrate on work much. This has never been the case before when he’s been away. But it’s been almost 2 years since we’ve been away from each other. I’m not sure if that’s the reason I’m feeling this low. I’ve been smelling my husband’s shirts for his scent. Am I being unreasonably emotional or is this normal?
Just need some consolation or anything to make myself feel better. Can’t wait for him to be back

OP posts:
angeltattoo · 12/04/2025 21:27

Why do you need your Mum with you?
Are you busy working etc while he is away?
You’ll probably just have to distract yourself while he is away and look forward to him being home.
Kindly, your unborn child won’t be missing him.

Original poster
Poise123 · 12/04/2025 21:31

I’ve been extremely exhausted and unable to cook anything due to the food and smell aversions. My husband has been taking care of all this while he was here. So my mom’s here until he’s back. I’m not sure in what way our baby is missing his presence, there’s no logical explanation to this, it’s a feeling. Probably his voice etc.

OP posts:
Runningoutofthyme · 12/04/2025 21:31

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
Poise123 · 12/04/2025 21:36

@runningoutofthymeI’m not sure what you’re trying to do here. Maybe you can take your inappropriate comments elsewhere. There is no need to be so rude to someone who has shared something deep.

OP posts:
Stripeyanddotty · 12/04/2025 21:42

My husband spent a lot of time away during my pregnancies. I survived.

Hobnobswantshernameback · 12/04/2025 21:45

🤔

Lammveg · 12/04/2025 21:48

If this is real I'd probably report your own post and get it moved to pregnancy or relationships or something - AIBU is not the place for kindness.

It's fine to be sad your husband is away but I'd focus on enjoying spending time with your mum.

MidnightPatrol · 12/04/2025 21:49

YABU

Sayshesheshe · 12/04/2025 21:51

Honestly this seems a bit mad, my husband was away for probably 1/3 of my pregnancy in total and it was totally fine, l certainly wasn’t bringing my mum in the day he left!

Ahwelltoobad · 12/04/2025 21:59

Oh, poor you! That sounds absolutely dreadful, I have no advice, but to be kind to yourself, perhaps spoil yourself if you can, with treats or feelgood movies? And would it help to ask your Mum to sleep in your room? I really hope these feelings will pass, quickly. 🌸

Ahwelltoobad · 12/04/2025 22:00

We are all different, and feel what we feel.

SkaneTos · 12/04/2025 22:07

Enjoy the time with your mum!
You can call your husband every day. And he will soon be back.

And very soon your baby will be here, and you won't even remember these two weeks.

Thegreyestate · 12/04/2025 22:11

Perhaps this is just hormones? Seems like quite an overreaction to your partner going away for such a short amount of time.

thisisfrommathilda · 12/04/2025 22:13

Sorry now moving your mother in, smelling his shirt and saying the baby misses him is ridiculous. He only went this morning !!

Hankunamatata · 12/04/2025 22:14

I used to cry every night at 5pm when pregnant. Freaked dh right out to come home to find me in tears while trying to cook dinner.
Hormones are funny things

Soontobe60 · 12/04/2025 22:17

He went this morning, it’s 10pm at night, it’s Saturday. What work have you had to concentrate on? Honestly, you really need to pull yourself together. In 5 months you’re going to be completely responsible for a tiny helpless human!

Boggartdreams · 12/04/2025 22:29

Sympathy from me as I’m also pregnant and very hormonal, have also got upset sometimes when away from partner! Bizarre as we’re very happy doing things separately as needed so it’s just some weird pregnancy thing Grin However the baby won’t have any sense anything is different, he/she won’t even be able to hear his voice yet - they may be able to sense stress, though.

Distract yourself as best you can, films, food, outings - whatever you can. You’ll get through it and laugh about this in the future!

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 12/04/2025 22:33

I know 'for a fact' baby misses him? This is a bit odd. I think it is the hormones.
Focus on nesting, resting, sleeping, enjoying your mum being there and trying to catch up with your friends (in person or call them!) and online shopping for baby clothes and it will fly by

Topseyt123 · 12/04/2025 22:37

Pregnancy hormones do odd things and we all react differently.

Be kind to yourself, and enjoy the time with your Mum. Plan some things to do together etc. Then the time will go quite quickly.

Rachie1973 · 12/04/2025 22:38

Honestly, I know hormones are at play but it’s all a bit melodramatic.

ShopoholicIn · 12/04/2025 22:41

Seems like hormones. Btw a PP has suggested you call him everyday.. with due respect I would suggest not doing that or even if you do call him daily please keeps it for limited time. He is there meeting his parents after 3 years and for only two weeks.. let him be with them.
And your mum is here please try n spend time with her.. maybe watch some movies that you both enjoy or go out for coffee/ lunch or a stroll in the park. Weather has been good lately, try n make the most of it and I am sure you will feel better soon..

EnhancedVampireEyeballs · 12/04/2025 22:41

Poise123 · 12/04/2025 21:36

@runningoutofthymeI’m not sure what you’re trying to do here. Maybe you can take your inappropriate comments elsewhere. There is no need to be so rude to someone who has shared something deep.

Oh please, your post wasn't deep. It read like a teenager desperately trying to sound deep.

Your baby doesn't miss him, your baby doesn't yet know he exists.
If you're this tragically lost after a day without him, what would happen if after the baby arrives, he leaves you, or dies? Dark thoughts, yes, but I know a few people that have lived through such awful experiences. And with a baby to look after, you couldn't waft around looking for a fainting couch on which to lie and sniff his dirty t-shirts.
Sorry, but you're soon going to be a parent. It might be time to get a grip.

HeddaGarbled · 12/04/2025 22:43

This does seem somewhat extreme but I suppose it’s an emotional time. At least be reassured that the baby will not be missing him.

Incakewetrust · 12/04/2025 22:45

Sweetheart, I think it’s the hormones.
a foetus physically doesn’t have the emotional intelligence to ‘miss’ someone. I can promise you, your baby does not miss him.
You, however, do. And that’s ok. Be kind to yourself, keep in regular contact with him through text but also allow him the space and time to enjoy being with his family.
Try and get decent sleep as tiredness will make your emotions stronger.

CatsWhiskerz · 12/04/2025 22:45

I quite liked it when my DH worked away when I was pregnant lol ... he was away 4 nights a week for almost whole pregnancy ... I was only freaked out one night when there was an earth tremor!! There was a loose door and it kept on shaking!! My cat was a bit 🙀 too
He'll be back soon enough, try to pamper yourself and do stuff you like, watch telly you enjoy etc

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