Husband away for 2 weeks while pregnant, feeling emotional

[Poise123]

I’m around 21 weeks pregnant at the moment and my husband has travelled to his hometown for two weeks to visit his parents. We both moved overseas more than 2 years ago, during this time span my parents have visited me thrice but he hasn’t met his parents. Hence, he wanted a break from work as well and wanted to meet his parents. He made sure that my mom could come stay with me so that he could travel. I miss him terribly more than usual and more than I expected. This is not the first time that we are away from each other since marriage but this is something beyond what I expected.
I cried a lot this morning before he left and he got teary as well. I know very well that it’s only a matter of 14 days and he will be back soon and I’ve been trying to keep myself busy. I do have my mom with me right now. I’m not sure if it’s the emotions in pregnancy that’s making me feel this way. I know for a fact that our baby is definitely missing his presence too. I’m unable to explain how I’m feeling at the moment. The bed feels so empty without my husband and I’ve not been able to concentrate on work much. This has never been the case before when he’s been away. But it’s been almost 2 years since we’ve been away from each other. I’m not sure if that’s the reason I’m feeling this low. I’ve been smelling my husband’s shirts for his scent. Am I being unreasonably emotional or is this normal?
Just need some consolation or anything to make myself feel better. Can’t wait for him to be back

Yep- exactly

I know for a fact that our baby is definitely missing his presence too

No , baby could not care less

you really do have your hormones in a swirl , I am glad your mum is there, try to pull yourself together so that he can relax and enjoy his time away and not worry about about you , if you are really struggling emotionally it may be time to contact the maternity mental health team , they were lovely with me and can support you if you are experiencing extreme anxiety

I'm 32 weeks pregnant and my DH is currently away for a week and I've loved it. I'm seeing it as my last week of freedom 🤣 Each to their own though.

@Poise123 WHy have his parents made no attempt to visit the pair of you?

Honestly no this level of despair over your husbands trip isn’t probably the norm, having said that though maybe you’re just a highly emotional person and that’s ok too.

This sounds like a very extreme reaction when it is such a short period of time and you ate otherwise healthy. Do you not have friends you can see? A job to attend to? Hobbies etc? All things that we do in normal life that would keep you distracted.
It isn’t healthy to be so overly reliant on your partner. It leaves you dependent and vulnerable.

I like the use of thrice!

This is all very extreme and odd. You’re 21 weeks pregnant so not heavily pregnant yet. Soon you’ll have a baby to look after and that will be a lot harder. Your unborn baby won’t even know he’s gone.

It’s your hormones. I cried for ages when I was pregnant because a cheesy song came on the tv during the ads. Something about “take special care of my baby and don’t ever make her cry” 🤗Be kind to yourself and just know that the sadness isn’t actually rational.

OP, please ignore all the billy big balls on this thread. It’s totally totally normal to feel vulnerable and miss your partner in creating this little one in your belly. Especially if your first baby.

Hormones will be a part of it… to be expected. I used to cry at every Christmas ad when I was 25weeks. And I don’t think I’ve cried in the last 5 years… bloody pregnancy hormones.

With my first pregnancy (now 14) my husband worked a lot of night shifts. I used to try to sleep but really only slept soundly once he came home from work at 7am and put his arms around us. Then, if I wasn’t working that day, used to fall into a deep sleep.

Dad has always had to travel for work a few times a year and until relatively recently (maybe when our youngest was 6 or 7) I haven’t felt quite zen until he is in the UK. Not necessarily at home immediately but in the UK.

15 years down the line (and with younger kids now too) I still remember these feelings you are describing. We both travel a lot now, kids are older and those old primal feelings have dissipated.

It’s a very very normal way to feel. Anyone telling you otherwise is, I think, projecting.

Yes you’re being unreasonably emotional. Your baby is not missing him, they cannot even hear anything from outside the womb right now, so they’ll be none the wiser. Pregnancy hormones can be nuts so give yourself a pass, but no, it’s not normal to be so emotional about this, especially to the extent that you need your mother to move in.

yabu, your baby doesn’t even know he exists

Pregnancy hormones can be a killer. I can remember balling my eyes out after watching an episode of Big Brother when someone was evicted. I wasn’t even that bothered about that particular contestant. I also cried at many adverts including the Gillette razor ones for men 😳

DH also had to do most of the cooking as I would throw up just opening the fridge

Enjoy the time with your mum and try and relax if you can

I’m with my husband 30
years, at the moment he is away for 2 weeks, it’s day 7 now . It’s the longest time we have been apart.I was fine with the idea of it but the reality is different. Have lots of family and friends but I miss him more than I would admit.

It’s hormonal and it’s normal. Don’t react to the “well my husband abandoned me for the whole 9 months and I was prefect” gang. Research studies suggest that pregnant women (especially in 3rd trimester- but I’m sure this obviously can start earlier) do become more emotionally dependent on their partner, perhaps ‘needy’ if you like.

You feel more vulnerable and he has been your main support network. You’re both also sharing in the experience of brining a baby into the world so you feel more connected to the support he can offer you than anyone else. I’m 31 weeks pregnant now and I understand, I would totally feel the same way. In fact, mine had to leave for 2 weeks to care for his mum when I was about 14 weeks pregnant and I was surprised at how much I missed him.

Although, I don’t think the baby will be any wiser tbh so try not to worry yourself and stay as busy/distracted until it’s over.

i used to enjoy my partner working away throughout my pregnancies lol 😂 I loved the peace and quiet. Been together 23 years still. You sound very needy

Oh love, it's the hormones.

I still vividly remember when my then very caring DH asked if he could sleep on the sofa for one night because he hadn't slept in days...I was 32 weeks pregnant, getting up 10 times a night to pee and snored like a train and keeping him wide awake. For some reason, then and there, it felt like the end of the world, I sobbed for like 20 minutes. I couldn't believe he was abandoning me 😂

He then had quite the mission to get back into the bedroom as it turned out I slept soooo much better by myself 😂

It's hormones. You know logically that the baby doesn't miss him. But it's ok, it'll be ok. Just try to distract yourself.

When I was pregnant I felt very vulnerable and would have missed DH when he was away. Especially around 21 weeks when the baby is just beginning to move.

I think you're being unusually emotional for someone who isn't pregnant, but pregnancy changes all sorts of things. Many women are much more emotional when pregnant, and their partners are often more emotional too. It's not something to try and change. Just accept it. You know it's going to pass. Your husband will be back in just a few days, the pregnancy will be a few more months (though then you'll have a few decades of growing kids to constantly adjust to!). It's an incredible time in your life. Try and look to the future and take the opportunity to connect with your mum.

If you genuinely feel like this you need a therapist/psychologist people can blame hormones only so much this all sounds scarily unhealthy

Wow sorry OP that you've had to read some horrible replies when you are feeling down like this! i can't comment on if what you are feeling is normal because my husband was never away when I was pregnant but I know I would miss my husband very much if he was gone for 2 weeks at any time, and wouldn't be surprised if I did the things you did if I had been pregnant and he went away. That could be because we have only been married 2 and a half years, things might be different in 10 years time lol. I think it's really sweet, bless you both, may that closeness last a lifetime!

Smelling his shirt and saying your baby who is unborn and only halfway through pregnancy, is missing him?

you seem very dependant on this man, you need to woman up here as this really isn't a lot to cope with.