Page 13 | To be a bit envious of this lifestyle? (USA)

ThePinkPonyClub · 2025-04-12T11:33:49+00:00

I've just watched School Swap: UK to USA on Channel 4 and have ended up feeling a teensy bit jealous of the kind of lifestyle that's possible over there. Even normal, non wealthy families seemed to be able to live really outdoorsy lifestyles where they can hike and hunt and boat amongst the gorgeous scenery. I feel like in the UK, even rurally it isn't possible as everywhere is so densely populated especially when the weather is nice. The weather is also a limiting factor! I'm obviously not jealous of the MAGA/Trump craziness or the crappy healthcare and all the rest of the political stuff but purely the lifestyle side of things, it seems so much more possible to live in that free, outdoorsy kind of way. And the schools seemed to have a much more positive, enthusiastic culture with things like school sports and dances, compared to the UK teens in their drab uniforms staring at their phones the whole time in their miserable, run down secondary school. aibu? Anyone live this kind of life in the UK? If so, where?!

ThisFluentBiscuit · 13/04/2025 22:43

Elsvieta · 13/04/2025 22:37

They define it almost entirely in terms of money, IME (that "large homes" was a clue) - and struggle to grasp the concept of anybody defining it any other way. You can talk at length about history and culture and community and beauty and anything else at all and just get a look of utter blank incomprehension, followed by "yes but I earn more and pay less tax and have a really big car". Best to just give up.

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I don't even have a car - I'm 50 and have never owned one - so there! I've always lived in cities, so no car. I only have a 2-bed flat but it has more storage than you'd ever see in the UK. And I'm British, thank you - I didn't leave Britain until I was 32.

Goldenbear · 13/04/2025 22:44

Crikeyalmighty · 13/04/2025 22:32

@Goldenbear. Ah I miss Copenhagen - loved living there. My favourite airport in Europe too

I have never lived there, I have extended family there, I wish I did ATM as my eldest wouldn't have to pay uni fees. Yes, such a chilled airport I think.

ThisFluentBiscuit · 13/04/2025 22:46

Crikeyalmighty · 13/04/2025 22:31

@ThisFluentBiscuit I don’t think that’s true across the board - we had to see someone on business in an NY flat and it was so small she kept get ironing in the oven and didn’t cook all as kitchen was a cubby hole and had zero storage- like the UK it comes down to location and cash

Oh, well NYC is a different ballgame. But you just have to go a small way outside the major cities and it's incredible what you can get with less money than you'd spend in Britain.

ThisFluentBiscuit · 13/04/2025 22:51

Bluebellwood129 · 13/04/2025 22:28

What do you consider 'super cool' about the US and how do you define 'a much better life'?

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Now, I'm a foreigner in America, so I might be biased. But here's my list: The weather is amazing, there's much more space, a good standard of living is within reach of many more people, the school system is much more flexible, the people are much happier and friendlier on the whole than Brits and their social skills are much better, there's more community, and everything in general is much less scruffy and run-down than the UK. Clothes and many other goods are cheaper. And...the men are REALLY sexy, with their cowboy accents and their excellent manners! WOOF WOOF!

To me, all those add up to a place that's pretty cool! And the place is wild and beautiful with huge natural variation.

Of course it has its problems - which the Brits never stop banging on about.

ThisFluentBiscuit · 13/04/2025 22:55

Elsvieta · 13/04/2025 22:37

They define it almost entirely in terms of money, IME (that "large homes" was a clue) - and struggle to grasp the concept of anybody defining it any other way. You can talk at length about history and culture and community and beauty and anything else at all and just get a look of utter blank incomprehension, followed by "yes but I earn more and pay less tax and have a really big car". Best to just give up.

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Yup, there's that jealousy I was talking about!

Life in the US is good. If you're on an average salary, it's much better than the quality of life that the same salary gets you at home.

ThisFluentBiscuit · 13/04/2025 23:01

Goldenbear · 13/04/2025 22:23

I meant diversity of culture to visit as the poster I was discussing this with was suggesting there is no availability of different experiences like the US contains, well that is clearly not the case for the UK as we have the whole of Europe, I have family in Denmark and can and do get to Copenhagen by lunchtime setting off at 6am! Copenhagen is very different to London as is Paris - accessible on the Eurostar very quickly, as is many a European country so it isn't really true that we are limited with choice as was the implication.

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I don't think I said that; I said that the US has vast natural variation such as lakes, rivers, mountains, prairies, and white-sand beaches, all within the same country. It's great that you don't have to leave the country to experience all those different things. I also said that it's very diverse, which it is.

In a way, Europe isn't so culturally diverse because it's all predominantly Catholic. It also has very samey architecture.

In the US, Boston is predominantly Irish and Italian, so Catholic. NYC has a huge Jewish population. Miami is mostly Latin American. Parts of the Midwest are very Scandinavian.

User46576 · 13/04/2025 23:03

TankFlyBossW4lk · 12/04/2025 12:52

God. That boy would not have died in the UK. That just made my blood run cold. I would never ever live in a country that allows this to happen.

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Sadly it’s not possible to say that. In the us emergency treatment must be given by law so if he was discharged when not stable then it’s basically medical negligence. Sadly we see a lot of that in the nhs

Bluebellwood129 · 13/04/2025 23:03

ThisFluentBiscuit · 13/04/2025 22:51

Now, I'm a foreigner in America, so I might be biased. But here's my list: The weather is amazing, there's much more space, a good standard of living is within reach of many more people, the school system is much more flexible, the people are much happier and friendlier on the whole than Brits and their social skills are much better, there's more community, and everything in general is much less scruffy and run-down than the UK. Clothes and many other goods are cheaper. And...the men are REALLY sexy, with their cowboy accents and their excellent manners! WOOF WOOF!

To me, all those add up to a place that's pretty cool! And the place is wild and beautiful with huge natural variation.

Of course it has its problems - which the Brits never stop banging on about.

Edited

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Thank you for answering my post - very interesting.

BoredZelda · 13/04/2025 23:07

Tulipsanddaffodils3 · 12/04/2025 14:38

Yeah I agree with other posters, I live in Scotland, very outdoorsy lifestyle of beach, hills, forest etc. Evenings and weekends in lighter months are biking, walking, paddleboarding etc. Yes it's colder but we're quite used to wearing fleece with shorts etc and then when the weather is gorgeous like this week making the most of it! Maybe just try and replicate the outdoorsy lifestyle you'd like near you? Decathlon, Mountain Warehouse were good starting points for investing in kit for us.

Hey! It was 21 degrees yesterday! 5 degrees tonight but shhhhh 😆

ThisFluentBiscuit · 13/04/2025 23:13

@Divebar2021
Hmmm I do like the US a lot ( and was at college there) but there is a great deal that’s isn’t very admiral.. these are the fleeting memories I had when I read your OP… the guns, the poverty of the Appalachian, the homeless veteran with no legs begging on the corner in SF, the young man who was carried out of a hospital and died because they thought it was a drugs overdose ( and it was in fact a diabetic coma)…. Presumably he had no insurance. If I was going pine after an outdoors lifestyle I’d be looking more at Canada personally.

I mean, there are countless tales of horrendous NHS neglect and misdiagnosis that one could insert here. Poverty in the UK, too, like the Gorbals in Glasgow and more.

US hospitals have to treat you in an emergency.

saltinesandcoffeecups · 13/04/2025 23:28

ThisFluentBiscuit · 13/04/2025 22:22

@saltinesandcoffeecups Now you know you can’t express any positive opinions about the US here.
There isn’t anything good about the US and we’re all shooting each other while we look longingly into hospitals that no one is able to afford with our lunch bags full of sweet bread and spray cheese.

Hey, were you following me? I love to look at the hospitals, and what's wrong with spray cheese???

Off to polish my gun collection.

Nothing is wrong with spray cheese. Food of the gods and mandatory on any long road trip! (Seriously try it with dill triscuts!)

I just figured I’d toss them out there before anyone else did (and it kind of worked!)

Oscarbravoromeo · 13/04/2025 23:48

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MrsFrumble · 14/04/2025 00:01

I can happily ramble about beauty. Oklahoma isn’t particularly known for its scenery (although it has its moments, especially in the east of the state) but we are flanked by New Mexico to the west and Arkansas to the east, which absolutely deserve their taglines of “The Land of Enchantment” and “The Natural State”.

The architecture enthusiast in me appreciates the mid 20th century buildings that sprang up here due to the oil boom (including one of Frank Lloyd Wright’s only skyscrapers!), and due to the atmospheric and geographic features of the state we have gorgeous, dramatic sunsets nearly every evening.

It’s not more beautiful than the UK, just beautiful in a different way. I don’t think people who don’t live here are or should be jealous, but I personally am glad to have had the opportunity to experience it.

And I’m definitely going to look for dill triscuits in the grocery store tomorrow. They sound amazing!

MrsFrumble · 14/04/2025 00:14

^^ This is in response to the comment that favourable opinions about living in the US were always about money BTW. Yes, we can afford a much bigger house here, but we moved from the most expensive city in the UK to one of the cheapest in the US, so it’s not really a fair comparison. And our car is most definitely a functional object rather than a status symbol. We’re not car enthusiasts at all.

ThisFluentBiscuit · 14/04/2025 00:50

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I left the UK at age 32 and have spent the last 18 years in the States. My life here is a vast improvement. As usual, I don't recognise the America described by British people.

SouthJersey · 14/04/2025 01:16

Be mindful that where you live in the US makes a big difference, and it's a really big country. In the Northeast, integrated towns and cities are the expectation. Most of us can't wrap our brains around the overt racism and gun mindset of other parts of the US.
We also have a nice mix of cities, suburbs, and rural areas. From where I can live, it's 10 minutes to the nearest major city and about 40 minutes to the nearest true forest. The beach is just over an hour away.
High schools have a little something for everyone and I think many kids actually like school overall. But at the same time, we are definitely always waiting for the next school shooting.
We're being ruled by a man and a political party that are crazy and many of us can't figure out why! I think the middle class is working so hard here - the true middle class, not the affluent that call themselves middle class - that you don't hear or see them very often. Most people have very little vacation time and work long days to pay for very ordinary houses. But it's true those houses don't have laundry machines in their kitchens! They're usually in the basement or a small laundry room.

mathanxiety · 14/04/2025 01:31

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Practically no public holidays? Where I live, there are thirteen public holidays a year. There's a spell from January to March when a full week of school is a rarity.

The sight of the poor man being eaten by gangrene must have been shocking and extremely distressing.

I'm not sure why the sight of churches was so upsetting for you. If you're British, you live in a state where church and state are completely intertwined. American churches / organised religions are reaponsibke for a huge amount of assistance to those in need. Catholic Charities alone provides services to millions of people annually - addressing food insecurity, homelessness, and other human concerns.

mathanxiety · 14/04/2025 01:45

Elsvieta · 13/04/2025 22:25

Here in the UK, many thousands of miles of footpaths and bridleways go across farmland. ("Acres and acres"? Try tens of thousands of square miles). It's not trespassing - they are public rights of way. There are some dangers (there have been quite a few people injured, and sometimes killed, by cows) but you decide for yourself whether you want to take them.

This is the main difference between the UK and the US, I think - we take the attitude that nature and the countryside belong to us all, and we're all entitled to access our landscape. We also think that exercise and enjoying wildlife and all that are things to be integrated into everyday life and just getting to where we need to be and so on. Whereas Americans consider such things "leisure activities" which are to be segregated from the rest of life, at dedicated times, in special places called "parks". That "trails for all kinds of abilities" made me laugh. Here we just have paths, and we decide what our "abilities" are for ourselves; we don't have some sort of external body to tell us where the "trails" are and advise us on it first. The country's 160,000 miles or so of footpaths and bridleways form a network that covers the whole country - you could walk from one end to the other if you wanted. It's not like, "here's a trail that's five miles long and here's your map". You work things out for yourself.

I suppose this is partly to do with the greater population density - we just haven't got the space to separate out walking (or "hiking" as Americans always seem to say) and the places where it happens from the rest of everything that goes on in the countryside. We have national parks but they're nothing like the American ones where "the wilderness" is held in pristine isolation and there's nothing else there and you need at least a full free day to go. Our national parks have farms and housing and businesses and schools and normal life going on within them, and people just go for a stroll (across farmland, if they feel like it!) before work or whatever. And the same in rural areas that aren't national parks. This is one of the reasons why the UK obesity rate is lower than the American, I would think - it's easier for us to get some exercise without having to schedule it or go to a special place to do it. (Don't get me started on "dog parks").

It's also to do with the greater age of the country - many footpaths date back to the middle ages, when peasants obviously walked everywhere and couldn't get to church or market or whatever without crossing someone else's land. The right of way has often been established for centuries. There are even a few paths that go back to prehistoric times. The farmers get between their fields by driving tractors down them, and the walkers walk down them, and we just keep an eye out for each other and share the space with no trouble at all. I know it might sound odd to you, but it's the culture here and has been for longer than the US has existed. It works just fine.

There are many, many reasons to walk across beautiful British farmland. The peace, the beauty, the views, the wildlife, the solitude. (You can go for hours sometimes without seeing anyone - something I've never managed on one of those American "trails"). The prehistoric monuments (there's lots of them in the middle of fields) which can't be reached any other way. Sometimes meeting friendly farmers, who like to see people enjoying the wonderful landscape, and will point you in the right direction if you're getting lost. At the moment I'm especially enjoying sharing the fields with the beautiful little spring lambs. And when you're tired and hungry, you make your way to the nearest village for a meal or a pint. I pity anyone who doesn't have this; it's one of the greatest things about being British. It's our birthright.

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All of that, and no bears, snakes, wild cats, alligators, possums, raccoons, or wolverines to bother you if you decide to go off the beaten path... There are reasons why it's unwise to go into the wild on your own.

I'm interested in your contempt for dog parks. Are you one of those people who thinks your dog should also enjoy the right to roam? Sheep farmers across Britain would probably dance with joy at the thought of dog parks. Ditto all the people who hate the sight of trees festooned with dog poo bags and those who hate finding they've stepped in a little surprise while out walking.

mathanxiety · 14/04/2025 01:57

Goldenbear · 13/04/2025 22:23

I meant diversity of culture to visit as the poster I was discussing this with was suggesting there is no availability of different experiences like the US contains, well that is clearly not the case for the UK as we have the whole of Europe, I have family in Denmark and can and do get to Copenhagen by lunchtime setting off at 6am! Copenhagen is very different to London as is Paris - accessible on the Eurostar very quickly, as is many a European country so it isn't really true that we are limited with choice as was the implication.

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You're still very wide of the mark.

Do you think there's no difference in culture between Hawaii and New Hampshire? Illinois and New Mexico? Mississippi and Washington? New York City and upstate New York? Chicago and Carbondale, IL? North Dakota and Florida? South Carolina and Wisconsin? Kentucky and Nevada? Minnesota and California? Utah and pretty much anywhere else on earth?

There are enormous regional differences in terms of culture, language, manners, dialects, cuisines, and even language - and that's within many states. If I drive seven hours south of where I live, I'm still in the same state but I'm in another world altogether.

ThisFluentBiscuit · 14/04/2025 01:58

mathanxiety · 14/04/2025 01:57

You're still very wide of the mark.

Do you think there's no difference in culture between Hawaii and New Hampshire? Illinois and New Mexico? Mississippi and Washington? New York City and upstate New York? Chicago and Carbondale, IL? North Dakota and Florida? South Carolina and Wisconsin? Kentucky and Nevada? Minnesota and California? Utah and pretty much anywhere else on earth?

There are enormous regional differences in terms of culture, language, manners, dialects, cuisines, and even language - and that's within many states. If I drive seven hours south of where I live, I'm still in the same state but I'm in another world altogether.

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Exactly. This is my experience of the States too.

Ponderingwindow · 14/04/2025 02:10

Elsvieta · 13/04/2025 22:25

Here in the UK, many thousands of miles of footpaths and bridleways go across farmland. ("Acres and acres"? Try tens of thousands of square miles). It's not trespassing - they are public rights of way. There are some dangers (there have been quite a few people injured, and sometimes killed, by cows) but you decide for yourself whether you want to take them.

This is the main difference between the UK and the US, I think - we take the attitude that nature and the countryside belong to us all, and we're all entitled to access our landscape. We also think that exercise and enjoying wildlife and all that are things to be integrated into everyday life and just getting to where we need to be and so on. Whereas Americans consider such things "leisure activities" which are to be segregated from the rest of life, at dedicated times, in special places called "parks". That "trails for all kinds of abilities" made me laugh. Here we just have paths, and we decide what our "abilities" are for ourselves; we don't have some sort of external body to tell us where the "trails" are and advise us on it first. The country's 160,000 miles or so of footpaths and bridleways form a network that covers the whole country - you could walk from one end to the other if you wanted. It's not like, "here's a trail that's five miles long and here's your map". You work things out for yourself.

I suppose this is partly to do with the greater population density - we just haven't got the space to separate out walking (or "hiking" as Americans always seem to say) and the places where it happens from the rest of everything that goes on in the countryside. We have national parks but they're nothing like the American ones where "the wilderness" is held in pristine isolation and there's nothing else there and you need at least a full free day to go. Our national parks have farms and housing and businesses and schools and normal life going on within them, and people just go for a stroll (across farmland, if they feel like it!) before work or whatever. And the same in rural areas that aren't national parks. This is one of the reasons why the UK obesity rate is lower than the American, I would think - it's easier for us to get some exercise without having to schedule it or go to a special place to do it. (Don't get me started on "dog parks").

It's also to do with the greater age of the country - many footpaths date back to the middle ages, when peasants obviously walked everywhere and couldn't get to church or market or whatever without crossing someone else's land. The right of way has often been established for centuries. There are even a few paths that go back to prehistoric times. The farmers get between their fields by driving tractors down them, and the walkers walk down them, and we just keep an eye out for each other and share the space with no trouble at all. I know it might sound odd to you, but it's the culture here and has been for longer than the US has existed. It works just fine.

There are many, many reasons to walk across beautiful British farmland. The peace, the beauty, the views, the wildlife, the solitude. (You can go for hours sometimes without seeing anyone - something I've never managed on one of those American "trails"). The prehistoric monuments (there's lots of them in the middle of fields) which can't be reached any other way. Sometimes meeting friendly farmers, who like to see people enjoying the wonderful landscape, and will point you in the right direction if you're getting lost. At the moment I'm especially enjoying sharing the fields with the beautiful little spring lambs. And when you're tired and hungry, you make your way to the nearest village for a meal or a pint. I pity anyone who doesn't have this; it's one of the greatest things about being British. It's our birthright.

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That works in the uk. Our farms are run differently. Having been on some, I really would never just enter a field without talking to the owner first.

many of us don’t need a full day to get to a nature preserve or major park system. I can access a trail system by walking out the door of my house. I can be at one 3 different more parks, not playgrounds or neighborhood parks, real natural parks, within 20 minutes of my home. N

it’s also extremely ableist to mock the wonder that is accessible trails. There are plenty of places for people who want to scramble or climb, but everyone should have access to nature.

NattyTurtle59 · 14/04/2025 02:58

Strawb3rrypink · 13/04/2025 05:40

Your anecdotal experience of a few friends doesn’t take away the fact that it’s the biggest cause of bankruptcy in the US.

NHS seems bloody fantastic to me. I get a call back from a GP if needed the day I fill an online form, a prescription is under £10 (there are schemes if you are low income so they are free), my dc and elderly parent have a variety of conditions that are getting top team lead care, when there is a wait we have the right to choose option. I’m in my 50s and have been served by the NHS fantastically throughout my life. Yep there are waits at A&N but you are seen and without the need of getting out a credit card to even get there in an emergency.

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Just as my anecdotal experience of several (I did not say "a few") friends doesn't cover everyone, neither does your anecdotal experience of the NHS mean everyone else gets the same level of service.

Strawb3rrypink · 14/04/2025 06:30

NattyTurtle59 · 14/04/2025 02:58

Just as my anecdotal experience of several (I did not say "a few") friends doesn't cover everyone, neither does your anecdotal experience of the NHS mean everyone else gets the same level of service.

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Right to choose is open to everybody, cutting waiting lists where they are an issue is high on everybody’s agenda, money is being pumped into the NHS and GP services ….

Not noticing any attempt to sort the horrific issues with the US medical system and the fleecing of Americans by insurance companies. If anything there is pulling back on the very small gains from Obamacare and this latest government will only want to make things even worse.

I know I can see a GP, go to A&E -and get a prescription without there being huge financial cost involved. I don’t need to worry about being 2 pay checks away from losing everything. I don’t need to worry about paying insurance for myself and my children, I don’t need to lie awake worrying about whether my children will always be able to afford healthcare….That is huge as regards quality of life.

Everystripesays · 14/04/2025 06:57

money is being pumped into the NHS and GP services

We are told this, not convinced. Many trusts if not all currently have spending bans, this means there are hundreds of newly qualified nurses and midwives who can't secure jobs. If they were serious about sorting the shortfall beyond let's chuck money at private companies to help then this wouldn't be happening.

Strawb3rrypink · 14/04/2025 07:07

Everystripesays · 14/04/2025 06:57

money is being pumped into the NHS and GP services

We are told this, not convinced. Many trusts if not all currently have spending bans, this means there are hundreds of newly qualified nurses and midwives who can't secure jobs. If they were serious about sorting the shortfall beyond let's chuck money at private companies to help then this wouldn't be happening.

Oh come on, it’s a marathon not a sprint and quite rightly the focus is currently on wasted money and unnecessary management.New nurse can’t get jobs thanks to fall out from the previous government. Boris’s fast track nurses immigration means higher qualified immigrants are chosen over newly trained nurses from the UK. This government has made it clear that recruiting more nurses and doctors is a priority.

Now let’s examine what the US is doing to solve the big failings in its system shall we.