To ask you to raise a cup/glass and toast me

[Divorcinghisabusiveass]

After realising that I’m in an emotionally abusive marriage, seeing the same dynamic happen to DC, having to contact Social Services as he didn’t change, receiving more emotional abuse as a consequence, whilst watching him temporarily (because he can’t maintain it) become dad of the f-Ing year, whilst he uses a bereavement to try and stick the knife in to me, after four years of counselling and me trying everything to change myself and hold a boundary around his abusive behaviour…

The divorce application is done!! Did it!!

This time next year I’ll hopefully be living without the constant pit of anxiety in my stomach that he creates…

I know there are darker days to come but I know I’ll get through it.

And you all won’t know it but you have helped. I’ve posted on here under different usernames many times, questioning if I’m bonkers or if his behaviour really is that bad. I’ve been pointed towards excellent sources of information. So thank you.

So, wonderful wise women of MN - please raise a cup/glass/fist with me.

To freedom and peace… 🍾 🥂

Raising a bottle of Coke Zero, well done on taking those steps. All the best for your freedom

You absolute star . This is the best possible gift you can give your kids.

Raising a pint of water to you, congratulations on the rest of your life. Well done op, brighter days will come. You know where to find us if you need us in the next few months and beyond 🥳

Cup of tea raised and toasted “freedom and peace”. I am so pleased for you, having been in awful relationships like you, I now realise that you should never ever think you have to rely on another person for your happiness. People should enhance your day to day life not destroy and taint it into anxiety, hurt and sadness. You will be fine, actually more than fine and walk your own path head held high! You go girl!!!

Now drinking a beer in the south of France and raised it for you OP, bloody well done!

No incentive for him to move forward mostly.

Also I’m still not sure of one of us will buy the other out or if we will sell.

🍹 to you, @Divorcinghisabusiveass .
Hoping you'll get to that place of freedom.
Congratulations on taking that huge step.

I see!

For me I feel like moving out will push his hand with selling. He is clinging to hope that we will reconcille. We won't.

When hes alone in a big house with big bills hopefully he will stop dragging his feet

Slainte @Divorcinghisabusiveass what a glorious day to sit on a bench and say ‘fuck him and the boat he sailed in on’

It really sucks this bit.

It does

But im thinking of it as just being a step along the way

Raising my mug to you and your future @Divorcinghisabusiveass

These stories are always missed by the posters starting the weekly threads about how horrible everyone on MN is. Sometimes tough talking really resonates with people in bad situations.

Anyone still about?

First mediation today.

Still living together.

He has been horrible, predictably. Has been telling me how I’m the abusive one. Telling me everyone else thinks I’m a bad parent, bad wife in whatever way. Lots of critical and blaming messages. Talking to the school without me presumably telling them DCs behavioural difficulties are about my poor parenting not his emotional abuse of them.

for the most part I’m not biting. Not defending myself. Not telling the world how horrible he is.

I found an old email from his mum that is pretty unequivocal in terms of his pattern of emotional abuse being long standing and not about me. I feel like publishing it in the local paper. But I won’t.

Any way, although it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, my body is struggling to cope with the stress and I’ve aged 10 years in a month, I have ZERO regrets and each time he’s nasty it just re-confirms why I’m divorcing him.

mediation today is going to be tough. My brain isn’t working properly. I’ve had little sleep. But it’s another step nearer.

Stay strong OP.

💐

Just seen this thread OP sending strength and love to get through this tough bit xxx

Well done for sticking it out. You’re almost there, you can and will do this.

Morning OP. Well done for getting through the last few months. They all try the same tactics, trying to make out that you’re the unreasonable one - most people see straight through the bullshit so I’d not worry about that. Also the people that really matter know the truth.

Have you thought about what you would like to get from mediation? How will DC share their time with each parent? What would you like to happen with the house?
Be prepared. It’s really hard to think straight in stressful situations.

Sending you very best wishes.

That’s a bell ringer from me 🥂@Divorcinghisabusiveass

OP, keep that email.
Show it to the school.
Keep it safe.
That will have its uses when you are out.
Stay strong.❤️

You’ll get through it and remember the bright light at the end of the tunnel. I can remember feeling browbeaten at times but I pushed on and it was so worth it. Looking back, I’m impressed by my own bravery & tenacity. You can do it!

Good for you!! Keep your chin up!!

Well we agreed rules around communication but already he’s broken them and used horrible language about me so looks like solicitors it is.

Buy yourself a big glass of something icy today and toast your strength of spirit. His horrible behaviour only proves how right you were to get rid.

🍾