To ask you to raise a cup/glass and toast me

[Divorcinghisabusiveass]

After realising that I’m in an emotionally abusive marriage, seeing the same dynamic happen to DC, having to contact Social Services as he didn’t change, receiving more emotional abuse as a consequence, whilst watching him temporarily (because he can’t maintain it) become dad of the f-Ing year, whilst he uses a bereavement to try and stick the knife in to me, after four years of counselling and me trying everything to change myself and hold a boundary around his abusive behaviour…

The divorce application is done!! Did it!!

This time next year I’ll hopefully be living without the constant pit of anxiety in my stomach that he creates…

I know there are darker days to come but I know I’ll get through it.

And you all won’t know it but you have helped. I’ve posted on here under different usernames many times, questioning if I’m bonkers or if his behaviour really is that bad. I’ve been pointed towards excellent sources of information. So thank you.

So, wonderful wise women of MN - please raise a cup/glass/fist with me.

To freedom and peace… 🍾 🥂

🍷! Well done!
People are wised up to empty vessels making the most noise. They might nod but they don’t mean it.

💃

Congratulations OP! My advice is grey rock the shit out of him to protect yourself from engaging in any of his drama or attempts to suck you in. Spend time with friends and family who love you. Take care of yourself.

And, when you step through the door of your new place when this is over just relish the point at which you have a space which he is no longer in. I still remember that moment 14 years later. It was my moment of freedom.

Thanks so much 🙏 I’m doing ‘yellow rock’ to try and keep a more warm family tone. Grey rock texts but slightly warmer verbals if DC are around. But he gets none of my heart, soul or emotions so nothing to weaponise. Apart from DC - tick. My reputation - tick. My relationships with others - tick. And my bereavement - tick.

I am hugely grateful to him though for showing me his vindictive and manipulative ways in very quick succession every day because it means I have no doubts and no regrets. If he was wailing and declaring love for me with more empty promises to change then it would be harder.

Every cloud eh?!

Oh dear girl, well done. A big huge massive well done. You are nearly there. This bit is awful. Try to shield your children from the toxicity as much as you can. But you'll get through it, and so will they.

The other side really is brighter. I'll have a glass of bubbles to you this evening.🥂

Yay!! Well done! Brighter days ahead! Good riddance to him!

I clink my coffee mug to yours and wish you a bright and happy future

Excellent news, well done on having the strength to do this. You can only move forwards and upwards from now on. You will never regret it! Clinking my cup of black coffee with you 💐

To @Divorcinghisabusiveass who will, in fact, divorce his abusive ass and be free to live a wonderful happy life! Cheers to the courage 🥂

Raising a flat white to you OP, you are strong, more women should be like you

Well done!!!!

I hope you're the poster. I'm thinking of because it would be so good to know she's getting out!! But whether you are or not that poster I am so pleased to hear you are getting out!!

I hope it all progresses as quickly as possible and you're not having to live under the same roof as him for too long!!

Water bottle raised to you, and it's given me the shop I need to go and make a decentcup of coffee to take to sit in the Sun, I'll be thinking of you!!

Raising my ginormous coffee mug to you! I was in your position last June & this morning I woke and ordered the bed of my dreams after the mortgages completed yesterday. Still the final order of divorce to do but I can smell the freedom.
Well done, first hurdle is over. Proud of you!

Congratulations to you, cheers to your freedom and happiness 🥂.

You have done such a strong thing. Such a great step for you and the children. My mum couldn’t. She stayed. It destroyed her and wrecked my childhood. Stay strong. Look forwards.

Keep posting op so we can keep you going on the darker days

Cheers OP! To a happier future, for you and your DC x

Congratulations first step done. I didn’t think I could ever leave. Was an utter nightmare but I did it and today I am sat in my own house. Just put another picture up. So happy for you no one should live where they are unhappy. We only get one life so live it how you want to. Good luck.

As we say in Fife: "Goanyerselhen!"

Raising a mug of coffee to you.

Yes op 🍾🍾🍾🍾🥂🥂🥂🥂

If you add orange juice, it's a Buck's Fizz and that's totally allowed at that time in the morning!! Good luck to you :)

Thanks so much all. So lovely to have some solidarity and I’ll update when I’m fully out out!

lots of shenanigans today. But I feel like I’m in the matrix dodging his invitations to conflict though rather than bullets.

Your new future starts now 🥂

Well done you, it’s so hard isn’t it. I’m living with my loser ex and all he wants to do is argue, it’s a very exhausting way to live!

🥂🥂🥂🍰🍰🍰💐💐💐

To freedom and peace 🍹

What reasoning was given when you were advised not to move out may i ask as someone in a similar (although not married) position ?