Am I being deluded to think I can do this job as the main caregiver for DS?

[Usally]

DP works away in the week and whilst he certainly does his bit financially, it’s me who does the nursery runs, pick ups when Ds is unwell etc you get the picture. I have a professional job which has stagnated since maternity leave. Ds will be three in august.

I decided to apply for a couple of better paid jobs which would be a step up for me professionally too. Somehow I’ve managed to get two offers… but here’s the dilemma…

Job 1: 28k pay rise, four days in the office, car allowance. Can leave in time for nursery pick up.

Job 2: 10k pay rise, two or three days in the office depending on the week. Can leave in time for nursery pick up.

Both are in the same location so travel not really a factory, it’s about 25 mins from the nursery (nursery ten mins from our house).

At the moment I work nearly totally remotely. I am hesitant as to whether i will manage so much office/travel etc. I know people do it but I wonder if I’m being a bit silly trying to earn more and progress while ds is still so small. It’s nearly impossible to find part time work in this industry so I can’t really look for less hours. I feel really conflicted as I do want progress but also want to be a good mum and I feel a lot of office time might affect that or make me more tired and less engaged with DS when we get home. Thoughts very welcome!

I don’t think there’s an issue with it currently- the problem will be at school age. The hours are much less than nursery …

Agree re school age - which is why I’d push now when actually you have better cover, find a local babysitter, and negotiate down the line for more flex from a stronger position. The early primary years feels like they are trying to break working parents - endless events, projecfs, random days.

Take job one and prove your worth. You'll have time to establish a track record before school starts and you need flexibility.

Mine do wrap around and breakfast club but holidays are a nightmare because there are almost no holiday clubs that actually give the hours working parents need.

That's not an issue for me because I've got an established track record with my current employer so can easily be flexible when needed. Officially we do three days a week in the office, I can't do it in school holidays unless I work a shorter day, and it's not an issue.

If you take a 28k pay rise, plus a car allowance, will that take you out of childcare support? I assume not as your post implies your husband earns more than you and you already earn well.

I think for me it would be about working out what would give me the time and headspace to manage it. So, in my case, that would be about not having to think about cleaning/doing the washing by outsourcing to someone who did the thinking as well as the doing. And preferably to get home to a decent cooked meal a couple of days a week. You might have different things that weigh on you.

How would your tax burden change for each role?
What are the pension contributions from each employer?
Are other benefits comparable to?
Look at the figures and make the choice then.

@Usally I work from home on Fridays. I actually prefer being in the office generally because that's where the team are and I'm in a job with lots of colleague interaction and meetings.
Obviously this varies job to job but I would say that many jobs I've comes across have more flexibility in reality than they do on paper. I have colleagues who work from home more days albeit if they asked for it to be written into their contract the answer would be no.
Finally when I was on mat leave and going back to work, and NCT friend said to me that no decision is permanent - and the decision you make with this job doesn't tie you in to much more than a few years. So some posters are talking about school years...you can deal with that in the future, change job, take a step back, increase childcare - you don't need to make a decision now based on school years!