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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Blue badge police again

578 replies

Rainburstflowers · 11/04/2025 09:00

Name changes for this as I do every so often.
I have blue badge but my disability is not visible.
For the 3rs time in 2 weeks I have been challenged about not looking disabled and I am fed up of explaining myself

yesterday got out the car and this man came charging towards me shouting “oi you don’t have a blue badge”. I sighed and said “yes I do”. He then said “where did you nick that from?”
I said “I didn’t nick it from anyone I got it off eBay”
He then looked at me and said “oh right and walked off”
as if that was then ok!!!!
or it could be my built like a brick shithouse husband opened his door and got out the drivers seat.

I know I should not have said the eBay comment but I am fed up of explaining myself.

if anyone has any good comebacks please let me know

OP posts:
LadyKenya · 11/04/2025 10:52

pinkingshears · 11/04/2025 10:42

Or maybe people mind their own business.
I have been asked a number of times, mostly really aggressively.
My reply is: if you want my BB you can have the disability that comes with it?
But it can be frightening, especially as a single female with children in tow.

The BBP are certainly NOT 'doing a public service' in any way.
If the BB scheme is scrapped that just means disabled people are trapped in their own homes, not taking up any parking spaces. I can see that 'works' for some, but not for Disabled people (you may guess I am one, with a BB I use)

I have had a passenger exit my car, and been aggressively asked, by a stranger in the next bay, if I had a right to be parking there, as I was a bit slow to put my BB, on the dashboard. I was still gathering myself together to exit the vehicle. The strange thing I thought at the time, is that the person asking, had just got out of the car parked next to mine. I have no idea why they were questioning my passenger. If they had just waited, I was getting my BB out to display. The manner in which they spoke, was totally unnecessary as well.

WillimNot · 11/04/2025 10:52

There's a young Scottish guy online that films interactions like this. He gets it appt because he is young and uses a van.
He usually tells them to go get a traffic warden and he will show them the badge.
It feels like some elderly people think it's a badge for them only

FlyingUnicornWings · 11/04/2025 10:54

CatsWhiskerz · 11/04/2025 09:30

Taking notes as I've just got a blue badge, so far no one has challenged me ... so feeling a bit left out!
I'm storing up why 'report me to the doesn't look disabled enough office' ... brilliant 🤩

Same. I’ve had mine 3 years now and not once has anyone even so much as given me a second glance. My disabilities are invisible too.

I think I’d panic and walk away if I got confronted.

ClairDeLaLune · 11/04/2025 10:54

Tessasanderson · 11/04/2025 10:15

So much anger towards posters who essentially are trying to say that we wish it was straightforward and BB users got to park without any issues, without any questions etc etc. That would be lovely for all concerned.

Happy to leave you to your anger. I was trying to offer support and a slightly different angle on the issue of someone asking. Oh well, not my battle

Can you honestly not see what’s wrong with your post after all the people who’ve pointed it out to you?

Do you not think it’s bad enough to have a disability in the first place without people judging you, accusing you, disbelieving you and harassing you? Do you honestly think that that sort of behaviour toward disabled people is justified.

Wow. Try to develop some empathy @Tessasanderson

SallyD00lally · 11/04/2025 10:56

SpringSunshineanddaffodils · 11/04/2025 09:32

He's full of sarcasm, I really don't have his wit!

Yeah, the army will do that to you. I think it's part of their training program 😄

My dad's had one for 30 years and has never been challenged once.

Which is a shame, because his comebacks are so fast and so funny! 🤣

SallyD00lally · 11/04/2025 10:57

Sorry, I somehow quote the wrong person Blush

Meant to quote @CatsWhiskerz

Iamthequeenoftheworld · 11/04/2025 10:57

Tessasanderson · 11/04/2025 09:44

I can never understand blue badge holders moaning about this. Can they not see that the person doing the asking is trying to protect the blue badge holders right to that space?

In the current society there are not many people who will actually put themselves out for whats right and wrong. See someone getting beaten up, turn away. See someone stealing, turn away. See someone parking in a disabled space to protect their Range Rover, turn away.

So once in a while they get it wrong and ask someone with a not obvious disability if they are genuine. Is that such a hardship for someone actually having some social concerns?

Or maybe they just start to wonder if its worth it, ignore it all and let blue badge holders cry about lack of parking in future because no one gives a stuff.

if you claim to care so much about disabled people and protecting them, and what’s right, you should at least know and educate yourself that invisible disabilities exist

x2boys · 11/04/2025 10:57

ExtraOnions · 11/04/2025 10:21

Blue Badges should be there for people who need to park closer to the facility. There are lots of reasons for this, some are not visible.

There are also people who have a Blue Badge who do not need to park closer to the facility, but do park there, because they have a Blue Badge.

There are also people who fraudulently use badges - either the disabled person is not with them, or they have bought a dodgy one.

The only people who lose out in any of this are disabled people who need to be parked close to the facility, often for mobility issues.

i knew someone who had a Blue Badge because they were deaf .. no mobility issues.. couid have left a space free for a wheelchair users, but didn’t.

There are no top trumps ,either a person is entitled to a blue badge or there not and those that are entitled have as much right as any blue badge holder to use the space .

Sparklebelle1024 · 11/04/2025 11:01

My daughter has a badge, she has a multitude of health problems and is a part time wheelchair user. We get “badge checked” all the time - apparently children can’t be disabled because it’s only old people that need these badges - who knew!! (It’s ALWAYS the elderly generation that check!

id gladly hand her badge and wheelchair back if I could hand her health conditions back too! One of which may actually shorten her life….. bloody busybodies

meercat23 · 11/04/2025 11:03

Tessasanderson · 11/04/2025 09:44

I can never understand blue badge holders moaning about this. Can they not see that the person doing the asking is trying to protect the blue badge holders right to that space?

In the current society there are not many people who will actually put themselves out for whats right and wrong. See someone getting beaten up, turn away. See someone stealing, turn away. See someone parking in a disabled space to protect their Range Rover, turn away.

So once in a while they get it wrong and ask someone with a not obvious disability if they are genuine. Is that such a hardship for someone actually having some social concerns?

Or maybe they just start to wonder if its worth it, ignore it all and let blue badge holders cry about lack of parking in future because no one gives a stuff.

That maybe works for people who use a disabled space without a blue badge but if you have been given a blue badge it is because you need it. They dont just hand them out to anyone who fancies one.

Willyoujustbequiet · 11/04/2025 11:04

Dotjones · 11/04/2025 10:00

I think this thread shows you just can't win. The BBP no doubt take their imaginary authority too far sometimes in the same way the real police do, but if nobody challenges fraudulent BB users then that makes it more difficult for genuine users to park. The BBP are just doing a lower scale version of a citizen's arrest, they believe they are justified and accept the risk of a punch in the mouth. That some innocent people get falsely accused is just collateral damage, in the same way some innocent people end up arrested and even convicted and imprisoned for offences they didn't commit.

Maybe the best thing would be to scrap the blue badge scheme entirely, then the problem of the BBP goes away.

Scrap the scheme?

How do suggest disabled people park then?

Iamthequeenoftheworld · 11/04/2025 11:05

“You do know not all disabilities are visible right…there’s even signs on public transport that say this”

”my doctor would disagree” “so you know better than my doctors”

amusedbush · 11/04/2025 11:07

I have a blue badge and I would say 30% of cars parked in disabled spaces around here don't have a badge displayed. I've also noticed that the people who park there without a badge also tend to take up the spaces closest to the shop - just for maximum selfishness.

If the BBP has pent-up Nosy Nelly energy that they simply must release, they could always ask those people why they're using a space they're not entitled to. But the non-badge parkers around here tend to be tradies or 6' 2" gym bros, so I'm guessing they'll stick to harassing lone women.

DevonCreamTeaPlease · 11/04/2025 11:10

On a similar note, the same can apply to using accessible loos.
At least some now say 'Not all disabilities are visible.'

I have IBS that varies day to day. If the only 3 cubicles for ladies are all occupied I have gone into the disabled loo occasionally. Because I need to go NOW.
But I am sure some people assume I'm not genuine as I can walk- fast.

CarefulN0w · 11/04/2025 11:11

Sheeparelooseagain · 11/04/2025 10:15

"The BBP are just doing a lower scale version of a citizen's arrest, they believe they are justified and accept the risk of a punch in the mouth."

No they usually target people who look more vulnerable than themselves because they don't want to get a punch in the mouth.

This is a good point. I wonder what the ratio of men to women who get challenged is. Do women with children look like a soft target in these people’s minds?

DazzlingCuckoos · 11/04/2025 11:12

PaintDecisions · 11/04/2025 09:29

My mate takes great delight in these people. He has his blue badge, uses it in his liveried transit van as he's a handyman. He's in his 30s and is ex Army.

You just need to see him walk to begin to understand why he needs the badge.

He takes his daughter to school on his mobility scooters on bad days - it's only about 100m round trip to the gates from our street.

He's full of sarcasm, I really don't have his wit!

Does he post on TikTok? If so, I've seen his videos! If not, he has a kindred spirit out there that suffers the same with a work van.

There are plenty of times we've tried to park with a blue badge and found non-BB holders in the spaces and, as this post has shown, there are some that do abuse the badges and use them against the rules.

There is no authority, other than the lesser spotted traffic warden, to police them though, so I can understand, from both sides, the desire to ensure the spaces and badges are not being abused.

It shouldn't go any further than "you need a blue badge to park there" though. Anyone asking about personal information has gone way too far.

amusedbush · 11/04/2025 11:13

Sparklebelle1024 · 11/04/2025 11:01

My daughter has a badge, she has a multitude of health problems and is a part time wheelchair user. We get “badge checked” all the time - apparently children can’t be disabled because it’s only old people that need these badges - who knew!! (It’s ALWAYS the elderly generation that check!

id gladly hand her badge and wheelchair back if I could hand her health conditions back too! One of which may actually shorten her life….. bloody busybodies

This has been my experience too. I absolutely believe that there are badge policers of all ages but, personally, it has only been elderly people who have bothered me.

There have been multiple occasions where an older person has seen me pull into a disabled space, then stopped walking and stared at me until I've put my badge on the dash. Once, a woman actually stepped into the middle of the space to stop me from parking there 😳

MyFuturePlans · 11/04/2025 11:14

As a blue badge holder this is what I do and what I wish everyone else would do.

See blue badge - walk on
Don't see blue badge - in a friendly, polite way remind the driver to put their blue badge up (AKA assume they forgot)

Iamthequeenoftheworld · 11/04/2025 11:16

Bobbie1976 · 11/04/2025 10:11

Right behind you it's disgusting, the misuse by some people. Where I used to work, a man would regularly use a blue badge and then be seen running up the corridor faster than an able bodied person.

My family and I saw a girl at a shop park in a space, without a badge and when she was challenged, she shouted 'NOT ALL DISABILITIES ARE VISIBLE'. Whereas she is correct, if she was truly disabled, she should have a badge regardless. I thought that was disgusting.

Another man I know tells everyone his daughter is autistic so can't stand in queues for the likes of theme parks so gets a special pass. He also made sure he got a sunflower lanyard during Covid for his lung condition which he doesn't have.

Edited

Umm the first one.

maybe the guy was faking, but

just so you know, there are some disabilities that affect a person like that. I have a relative. His condition is extremely variable. Like extremely, even can change every 20 minutes drastically. On good moments, he faster than an able bodied person. There are days/hours/minutes he can run, goes to gym, and next day he needs a wheelchair and his moms help to use the toilet and bathe. Not even days. Hours, minutes. He can run one minute, the next minute he crawls on the floor.

he has this since he was a little kid, would play on monkey bars and run around with other kids, then one minute his mom would be picking him off the floor

if I didn’t grow up with him, and live with his family for some time, wouldn’t believe it myself

when he has good moments, he gets happy and uses the opportunity to sprint and run around

people have to understand, there are so many illnesses that are very complex, it’s not just paralyzed guy in wheelchair etc

SorcererGaheris · 11/04/2025 11:16

Tessasanderson · 11/04/2025 09:44

I can never understand blue badge holders moaning about this. Can they not see that the person doing the asking is trying to protect the blue badge holders right to that space?

In the current society there are not many people who will actually put themselves out for whats right and wrong. See someone getting beaten up, turn away. See someone stealing, turn away. See someone parking in a disabled space to protect their Range Rover, turn away.

So once in a while they get it wrong and ask someone with a not obvious disability if they are genuine. Is that such a hardship for someone actually having some social concerns?

Or maybe they just start to wonder if its worth it, ignore it all and let blue badge holders cry about lack of parking in future because no one gives a stuff.

@Tessasanderson

"In the current society there are not many people who will actually put themselves out for whats right and wrong. See someone getting beaten up, turn away. See someone stealing, turn away. See someone parking in a disabled space to protect their Range Rover, turn away."

The difference with the examples you give here is that they are cases where someone is clearly doing something wrong/illegal. If someone is verbally abusing or physically attacking someone else, it is an unquestionable fact that they are behaving inappropriately or breaking the law.

But - because some disabilities are invisible - it can't be assumed that a lack of visible, physically obvious disability means that the person in question is not disabled.

When a disabled person is questioned simply because they don't look "obviously" disabled - unlike the example of seeing someone get attacked - the questioner is operating off an incorrect assumption they had made, not an actual wrongdoing that they have witnessed.

They are making a presumption that the person in question is non-disabled, and given that, as stated, various disabilities are not visible, it can be argued that this is an unfair presumption to make.

I think it's better to give the benefit of the doubt, rather than potentially embarrass or upset someone with a genuine condition.

"So once in a while they get it wrong and ask someone with a not obvious disability if they are genuine. Is that such a hardship for someone actually having some social concerns?"

If the disabled person in question is a confident person, it may not be that much trouble for those individuals to be challenged - though, let's be honest, it's not pleasant for anyone to essentially be accused of lying about having a disability.

But I would imagine there are a fair few disabled people who are not confident. They may have depression, social anxiety, autism, or a whole range of conditions that could, in fact, make such an encounter very distressing for them.

So yes - for some disabled people, being challenged about their use of a space to which they are entitled could indeed be a very difficult and upsetting circumstance.

If it's done in a public place, with other people within earshot, it's also probably very embarrassing for the person being questioned.

In the absence of actual evidence that the person in question is not disabled (and not looking disabled isn't evidence) then in my opinion, it's best that other people give the benefit of the doubt and presume that the individual has a hidden disability of some sort.

Nanny0gg · 11/04/2025 11:17

Bobbie1976 · 11/04/2025 10:11

Right behind you it's disgusting, the misuse by some people. Where I used to work, a man would regularly use a blue badge and then be seen running up the corridor faster than an able bodied person.

My family and I saw a girl at a shop park in a space, without a badge and when she was challenged, she shouted 'NOT ALL DISABILITIES ARE VISIBLE'. Whereas she is correct, if she was truly disabled, she should have a badge regardless. I thought that was disgusting.

Another man I know tells everyone his daughter is autistic so can't stand in queues for the likes of theme parks so gets a special pass. He also made sure he got a sunflower lanyard during Covid for his lung condition which he doesn't have.

Edited

Just because he can run doesn't mean he doesn't have another condition, does it?

What's wrong with special passes at theme parks?

You clearly have too much time on your hands

AthWat · 11/04/2025 11:18

Tessasanderson · 11/04/2025 09:44

I can never understand blue badge holders moaning about this. Can they not see that the person doing the asking is trying to protect the blue badge holders right to that space?

In the current society there are not many people who will actually put themselves out for whats right and wrong. See someone getting beaten up, turn away. See someone stealing, turn away. See someone parking in a disabled space to protect their Range Rover, turn away.

So once in a while they get it wrong and ask someone with a not obvious disability if they are genuine. Is that such a hardship for someone actually having some social concerns?

Or maybe they just start to wonder if its worth it, ignore it all and let blue badge holders cry about lack of parking in future because no one gives a stuff.

I mean, surely what they should do first is look for the badge, and if there is one there,not say anything?

AthWat · 11/04/2025 11:19

Nanny0gg · 11/04/2025 11:17

Just because he can run doesn't mean he doesn't have another condition, does it?

What's wrong with special passes at theme parks?

You clearly have too much time on your hands

They are not saying anything is wrong with special passes at theme parks, they are saying, unless I mistake, that this guy lies about his daughter being autisitic to get one.

lifeisgoodrightnow · 11/04/2025 11:20

OhCalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 11/04/2025 10:02

When they say you don't look disabled just reply 'you don't look stupid but the world's full of surprises'.

Can't say I've ever had this but I did once have a woman give me filthy looks because I used my badge in a disabled space that she wanted to park in and use as a parent and child bay because she had a car full of kids and seemed to think her need for the disabled place as a parent trumped my need with blue badge.

Love this - this is my new ‘go to ‘ retort

Bromptotoo · 11/04/2025 11:22

It's not just parking spaces it's toilets too.

I have an issue in late middle age where I can only wait so long before wetting or messing myself. I'm therefore not ashamed to nip into a disabled loo if I need to. Last did it a week ago during the route march from arrival gate to Passports at Birmingham Airport. Some tutting.

Mind you, we have them here on Mumsnet. Massive thread about a bloke with no visible disability using the disabled loo at work. Awful lot of posters saying you should need to be in wheelchair user territory to need one.

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