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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed with my mum for bringing cake over when she knows I’m on a diet?

47 replies

NW3Lady · 10/04/2025 18:36

I’ve been doing really well at losing baby weight these past couple of weeks, although still have quite a way to go. I’d planned to take a brief break from dieting over the Easter weekend to be able to enjoy some chocolate treats and have told her this.

This afternoon she texted to say she had the remains of a red velvet cake needing finishing so would bring them over when she came to look after DS later. I felt pretty annoyed with her to be honest. I could really do without that temptation.

AIBU? Do normal people get annoyed about this kind of thing or do I have a problem?

OP posts:
HollyGolightly4 · 10/04/2025 18:38

I'd just tell her to take it home with her "Thanks mum, you know it's my fave, but I'm saving myself for Easter weekend".

Have you told her explicitly you're trying to lose weight? I found I had to be brutal. Subtlety didn't work with my family 🤣 eg. Oooh I'm trying to be good gets you nowhere

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 10/04/2025 18:41

I would feel a bit down about that too.

It's thoughtless at best, and when you're working really hard to lose weight and have wavering will power, it can feel really demotivating to have someone effectively sabotage you - even if it's not intentional.

You should text back 'don't bring it here, I'm on a diet so won't eat it and it will just go to waste'

rainbowunicorn · 10/04/2025 18:43

Is there nobody else in your household that might appreciate it? Your partner, other children etc?

cakeandteaandcake · 10/04/2025 18:45

You just told her you’re taking a break to have chocolate, and you’re wondering why she’s not taking you seriously?

Scentbird · 10/04/2025 18:48

Are there no other people on your house?

She text and said she would bring it. You could have just text back and said you didn’t want her to if it was going to bother you so much.

I think yabu.

Blinkyy · 10/04/2025 18:48

Ooooh it looks lovely but not for me while I’m dieting

Moonlightfrog · 10/04/2025 18:51

My mum does this too. I often ask her not to buy me food gifts for birthdays/Christmas too but she ignores this 😬. I have snuck things in the bin before or re gifted.

QueefQueen80s · 10/04/2025 18:52

cakeandteaandcake · 10/04/2025 18:45

You just told her you’re taking a break to have chocolate, and you’re wondering why she’s not taking you seriously?

This. I usually don’t want people tempting me but if you told her you are taking a break then I can see why she brought it.

neonjumper · 10/04/2025 18:53

Put it in the bin if she brings it and you’ve asked her not to !

quitefranklyabsurd · 10/04/2025 18:55

Sorry to be a kill joy but you really need to reframe the way you look at food. If you have cheat days and treat foods you’re just setting your self up to fail tbh. Approach it from a more 80% nutrient dense food 20% not so nutrient dense and set yourself a calorie deficit goal to live within and you’ll make much greater progress and develop habits that are much longer lasting.

Createausername1970 · 10/04/2025 18:56

Stick it in the freezer. You are having chocolate next weekend, so a bit of cake instead of lunch won't make much difference.

Daisy12Maisie · 10/04/2025 18:57

My mum tells me I look chunky and then also says she is going to drop mine and the kids Easter eggs off this week as she is away for Easter. I just nod along.

springbringshope · 10/04/2025 18:57

cakeandteaandcake · 10/04/2025 18:45

You just told her you’re taking a break to have chocolate, and you’re wondering why she’s not taking you seriously?

Taking a break over Easter weekend guest mean a free for all in the week prior

MellersSmellers · 10/04/2025 18:58

You could just not eat it and get her to take it home. No need to be annoyed about it!

TheNinjaWife · 10/04/2025 19:03

I’m also of the opinion you don’t need to eat it if you don’t want to, so just put it in the freezer, for later it give it to someone else. Your mum is probably not doing this to be mean.

Original poster
NW3Lady · 10/04/2025 19:23

quitefranklyabsurd · 10/04/2025 18:55

Sorry to be a kill joy but you really need to reframe the way you look at food. If you have cheat days and treat foods you’re just setting your self up to fail tbh. Approach it from a more 80% nutrient dense food 20% not so nutrient dense and set yourself a calorie deficit goal to live within and you’ll make much greater progress and develop habits that are much longer lasting.

How do I do this? Does it work for losing weight as well as maintaining? I eat nearly all home-cooked food so calorie counting can be tricky.

OP posts:
Original poster
NW3Lady · 10/04/2025 19:25

One of my dieting strategies is not to have any junk food in the house as my will power isn’t great (NB I’m talking specifcally about when dieting, not all the time). I’m the only adult in the household so this is totally doable.

I am open to better strategies however.

OP posts:
quitefranklyabsurd · 10/04/2025 19:34

NW3Lady · 10/04/2025 19:23

How do I do this? Does it work for losing weight as well as maintaining? I eat nearly all home-cooked food so calorie counting can be tricky.

Show quote history

I’ve stuck to a 1700 calorie allowance 80/20 approach for a year and have lost over 4 stone. I’ve plateaued for the last 4 months or so as I’ve started weight lifting and muscle weighs more than fat.

my advice is to take your measurements (waist, hips, chest, arms, thighs and calves) as well as weight.

increase your steps by 2 thousand a day if you can.

you can log all your home cooked meals in myfitness pal - up your protein as it keeps you fuller for longer - it will also advise you on what your calorie intake should be based on height. Ect and goal weight. - logging the meals is a faff in the first instance but once you’ve saved it it’s dead easy.

I also worked with an online pt who was brilliant.

consistency and building sustainable habits will be your key to keeping your weight off long term.

QueefQueen80s · 10/04/2025 20:22

Daisy12Maisie · 10/04/2025 18:57

My mum tells me I look chunky and then also says she is going to drop mine and the kids Easter eggs off this week as she is away for Easter. I just nod along.

Wow..

Eenameenadeeka · 11/04/2025 06:19

If she's coming to care for DS, perhaps she meant for him to have some, not you? I wouldn't be annoyed personally, if you don't want cake, don't eat it.

BitOutOfPractice · 11/04/2025 06:23

Just don’t eat it. Get her to take it home, freeze it, bin it. Do it straight away so it’s out of the way.

and no, it’s not hard to calorie count when you’re eating home cooked food.

TheCountofMountingCrispBags · 11/04/2025 06:26

How do you think alcoholics cope in a world where socialising largely revolves around booze?
Backbone required. Grip required.

Roystonv · 11/04/2025 06:38

If she is anything like me she will have thought "what can I take round they would enjoy. Oh I know a cake, that's a nice way of showing how much I love and think about them" totally forgetting the diet. My dd in a similar situation about biscuits I made said thank you, they looked good, will they freeze and she will enjoy them after Lent. My goodness the fuss and mean comments.

StartAnew · 11/04/2025 06:43

I’d be annoyed. At best it’s thoughtless, at worst sabotage. You need to spell it out - Please don’t bring it Mum,don’t want cake in the house at the moment.
No need to pretend she’s doing you a favour by offering it.

Impossiblyme · 11/04/2025 06:45

If it’s only you, just message her and tell her not to bring it as it will go in the bin.

You don’t need to eat it. Just dispose of it. It’s only cake.