To be annoyed with my mum for bringing cake over when she knows I’m on a diet?

[NW3Lady]

I’ve been doing really well at losing baby weight these past couple of weeks, although still have quite a way to go. I’d planned to take a brief break from dieting over the Easter weekend to be able to enjoy some chocolate treats and have told her this.

This afternoon she texted to say she had the remains of a red velvet cake needing finishing so would bring them over when she came to look after DS later. I felt pretty annoyed with her to be honest. I could really do without that temptation.

AIBU? Do normal people get annoyed about this kind of thing or do I have a problem?

Bin it when she leaves.

If she’s coming over to look after DS, sounds like you will be out elsewhere or shut away WFH? Let her eat her cake while she’s looking after DS. Bin the rest as soon as she’s gone. Temptation removed.

Unfortunately though, losing weight is pretty much dependent on what you put in your mouth so you have to work on willpower. Lots of people stay slim by choosing not to eat cakes etc, or know to accommodate them as an occasional treat. It’s a choice between maintaining the weight you want to be versus eating all the things. Cake exists. Learn to ignore it when you’re forming more healthy eating habits.

Hopefully you wouldn't drop off your leftover booze at an alcoholic's house!

no i would be annoyed also op

Hmm , in this case the mum isn’t thinking about her DD very clearly. She’s said she won’t be eating chocolate until Easter and her mum must know she struggles to resist cake in her home. It’s not a loving thing to do in this case.

She cant force you to eat it so dont, that is in your control

Just don’t eat it, it’s not that difficult

A bit mean and wasteful....

Sorry but I think you’re making a fuss, this happens all the time when you’re on a diet and you just need to use your words. Message back to say don’t bring the cake, or freeze it to have at a later date or throw it for the birds to eat.

Well, no!
But principle here...
Being annoyed at someone because you don't have any willpower is just ridiculous!

Freeze it and eat at Easter when your taking your break

she could have bought over a slice for herself but not for you

Hang on - she is doing (I guess free) childcare for you and you want to ban her from bringing the cake over? She isn’t forcing you to eat it! She can eat it with the DC and then they can continue to have it over the next couple of days. You don’t even have to touch it. If you have no willpower that’s hardly her fault. Especially if you plan to gorge on chocolate next weekend.

Just have a small slice and accout for it?

Like with Easter, eat a bit of the Easter egg, not the whole thing over a few days you don't need to take time 'off'.

Why didn't you just text back and ask her not to bring it?

I eat nearly all home cooked food and calorie count. I use my fitness pal. You can add recipes that you have made quite easily. You just add as you go.
A bit of cake can easily be incorporated into a weekly calorie allowance.
It does help to look at it weekly rather than daily that way you won't feel bad about going over one day, you can just eat fewer calories on the other days.

My MIL is notorious for demanding other people have food whilst she sits there with a superior look on her face

Basically we have what is offered - for the third time after declining twice - thinking she is going to have some, then she doesn't and it makes us look greedy when we didn't want anything in the first place.

She insists on us taking food home , saying things like ' I won't eat it, I don't want to put on weight' when she has clearly knows that neither do we, and we are trying to eat healthily. she does manage to make something that seems generous , very selfish. last time this happened we just said we will take it to save arguments but it will be going in the bin at the first opportunity.

I’ve struggled with overweight for a lot of my life and ultimately don’t find “not having any temptation in the house” to be a good long term strategy. It just sets me up for ‘being good’ and then at some point kicking over the traces and eating everything I have been denying myself.

The release from the prison for me came in the form of Gillian Riley’s http://eatinglessonline.com/

i hope you find what works for you, to find the peace that comes from taking control over your overeating so that what other people do has no impact on what you choose to do.

I found the best route with unwanted food from my mum (which could be anything from cake to cabbage) was to thank her profusely and then chuck them in the bin when she wasn't there.

Declining was not an option, the urge to feed your children is apparently overwhelming even if that child is now 40 with their own house, husband and job.

It’s tricky bcos you did say you’d be having chocolate over Easter & your interpretation of Easter (Good Friday-Easter Monday??Or just Easter Mon??) & hers (it’s the Easter holidays already?) might differ. Also even though you tell pple you’re dieting IME they rarely take any notice of what seem like to you, your hard & fast rules about what & when you’re eating/dieting. It seems really obvious bcos you’re living it 24/7 & anything that can disrupt it is a major thing whereas to them it’s just oh yes you did say you’re really trying atm. It sucks & makes life really hard when willpower is so hard to maintain. Just send her back with the cake (kindly) if nobody else wants it in your home & get it back out of the house as quickly as possible!!

This afternoon she texted to say she had the remains of a red velvet cake needing finishing so would bring them over when she came to look after DS later.

You have several options. Text back and say, no don't bring it as I will just have to put it in the bin.

If she still brings it, you take your slice and put it in the bin. Or you leave it until she's gone and then bin it.

If she is coming to look after your ds, then presumably you won't be there anyway?

Maybe don't eat it....