Is this weird/disrespectful to do?

[Isthisstrange]

Hi! Just need a 2nd opinion haha

basically with my job I’m in a small room for almost the entire day. No windows and the only source of fresh air is AC. I’ve been feeling really unwell and sluggish after work and was constantly coming home with headaches. I started going out on my lunch and found I feel SO much better. No headaches, I felt so much more refreshed and energised and just generally a lot better.

i work in the outskirts of the city centre and found found that across the road there’s a big old disused cemetery and there’s lots of grass. It’s not a public park but also not just a graveyard, it’s sort of in between if that makes sense! Lots of grassy space and a lovely walk in the sun

it’s not a new graveyard, I think it might actually be a necropolis and the graves are all from a long, long, long time ago. It’s not used anymore and there’s never any family members or flowers or anything like that. Sometimes I’ll see some dog walkers but it’s often quiet

my usual route is I walk through there, sit on one of the big rocks near the exit (it’s not near any graves, it’s a big grassy clearing bit with some old big boulders) and then walk back through and go back to work. It takes me about an hour and I get steps in and get some fresh air and get out of my stuffy office room!

i mentioned it to a colleague at work when they asked where I go at lunch and they looked at me like I had 2 heads and said it was really weird to go for a walk in a necropolis every lunchtime and it’s disrespectful to eat lunch there. I didn’t ever consider that and I’m sort of worried I’ve been accidentally disrespectful or it’s a weird thing to do. I guess I just considered it a walk in the sun and a chance to get out for some fresh air and I never considered it a graveyard because it’s not a currently used one (IYSIM). And because there’s dog walkers I just assumed it was ok. I would NEVER sit and eat lunch near any graves, and I always take my litter with me and I never play music out loud. I literally just walk through it, eat lunch at the exit and read my book or listen to a podcast on my AirPods and then walk back through it and get my steps in and get some fresh air

but then my collegue pointed out that if there’s no benches and I have to eat lunch at the boulder at the exit then it’s because it’s weird to just walk through a necropolis and eat lunch near there

There’s often dog walkers but I don’t really see anyone else walking there on their lunch hour

is this weird/disrespectful? Think I just need some perspective on it and a 2nd opinion because what my collegue said caught me off guard a bit!

thanks in advance!

sorry should have said, I could go for a walk in the streets instead but I just preferred this route because there’s a bit of greenery and it’s nice especially in the nice weather atm! But if it’s disrespectful then I’ll just stick to walking round the streets

nobody else at my work goes out, most people sit in the staffroom or in their office rooms, that’s what I was doing initially but just found I felt so unwell! Especially over winter when it was dark in the morning, dark after work and without any windows I could almost go an entire day without daylight and it was making me feel so sluggish and headachey

This is not weird, who is she to say where you can and can’t go in your lunch hour, you don’t need to justify your actions, I’d keep a wide berth from her

It’s totally fine. My local kids park is built on an old cemetery - the stones are all round the edges. There are some big ones in the ground too. Kids jump off them. Tbh it’s a bit strange, but not disrespectful. All the graves are from 1700-1850 ish, so no one that would be currently mourned. I think so long as you’re respectful it’s a lovely space to get some fresh air and enjoy life (I’m sure you are respectful… I’m thinking of things like ripping up plants or peeing behind the stone would be disrespectful)

Your work environment sounds unhealthy, at least you recognise that going for a walk is helping you. Carry on eating your lunch, where you see fit.

You are managing both your physical and mental health. Maybe your friend needs to keep their beak out of your business..?

Of course it’s not disrespectful, very weird that this was suggested!

Of course it's not weird. It's an open space which is suitable to walk through, stop and read a book or have lunch. Your colleague is talking nonsense.

Not weird at all. Graveyards can be lovely peaceful places.

Nope. Not weird. The dead make great company when you want some peace

Also, it is fine if your colleague thinks that is disrespectful, but no one is asking them to eat their lunch there. We don't all think the same way about things.

No, that sounds fine.

My local cemetery (currently used, crematorium in it) has offered tours in the last few years and added a cafe. I came out of the service for a family member after he was cremated and was crying trying to get my head together, looked up and there was a tourist sitting literally on a headstone facing the crematorium gaping at me eating an ice cream. That was weird and disrespectful. People also walk their dogs there letting them off the leash to run around sometimes pissing on headstones. It is unbelievable the way some people behave.

Old graveyards are nice to walk in. You're fine except for having a colleague who over-steps. Next time try "thanks for your opinion, but I disagree".

When I worked in a big city, I used to eat my lunch in a very old graveyard. It was very peaceful, it's not disrespectful if you take all your rubbish away.

Not weird at all. In Bristol there is an old cemetery where the stones have been moved to the sides & there are benches & paths. I would think it’s nice that the space is used & the stones seen, surely if it wasn’t to be used as a green space it would be locked up.

I don’t think it’s weird at all. Even if there were recently dead buried there it’s still fine unless gawping at mourners or being generally disrespectful.

It is not at all disrepectful, and I'm sure that in the unlikely event there are any lingering spirits, they will be glad of the company.

I think that’s perfectly reasonable. You’re not actually desecrating anyone’s grave, you’re being respectful in my opinion. Graveyards are generally peaceful tranquil places and it’s quite natural to sit quietly in one. Especially older graveyards where there wouldn’t be any living relatives to visit anymore, I think it’s quite nice that the residents still get a bit of company now and then. (I have no belief in religion, afterlife, or souls or anything like that, but I do belong respecting the dead and the memory of them).

Not weird at all. It's not as if you're doing anything disrespectful. Plus whoever's managing the graveyard are probably pleased people are using it as they're helping to protect it from both antisocial behaviour and redevelopment.

No it's not weird at all. Frankly you could eat sitting by a grave - the dead aren't going to care.

I find cemetaries peaceful places (usually)

I wonder if you could consider taking melatonin? My DiL is an optician so also spends all day like you do, and it's been very helpful to her. Also vitamin D.

I used to go and sunbathe in a cemetery when I lived somewhere with no green space. You're absolutely fine to spend time there. So long as you don't leave litter, why on earth would it be a problem?

The dead won't know, and if they did then I'm sure they would love the company.

Anyone that sees you there will assume you are a relative.

Your colleague is weird. Cemeteries are a lovely place to relax and spend time. Often very serene and green and pretty.

I went for a first date once and had a picnic in a cemetery that has an amazing garden. There were kids playing and it felt joyous.

They shouldn't always be somber, depressing places.

Graveyards are incredibly important from a biodiversity point of view, as when overgrown and not continually attacked with a strimmer, they’re essentially big, urban nature reserves. As many people as possible should benefit from that. I used to walk in Highgate cemetery all the time when DS was a small baby, and the Victorian cemetery closer to where I lived then was abuzz with people taking shortcuts, and, later in the evening, cruising.

There's a cemetery near me that is still in use. People walk there a lot and take thier dogs on leads. There are places to sit, and sometimes I've seen people eating sandwiches and stuff there. It's a quiet place, a peaceful place, and I don't think there's anything wrong with what you are doing.

it sounds fine to me ignore anyone who says it's weird.

But. Ask your company to put an air monitor in your room - you shouldn't have to be breathing stale air or having the AC on all the time.

Many years ago I loved walking round a very old grave yard with a beautiful church in it .
I'd often sit on the wall and enjoy the relative peace ( it's near a very busy Rd)
Now most of the stones have been removed and the church has been converted into flats ! It still looks the same on the outside.

I don't think uou are doing anything wrong and you have my sympathy working in a windowless aircon office, I do to .