Is this weird/disrespectful to do?

[Isthisstrange]

Hi! Just need a 2nd opinion haha

basically with my job I’m in a small room for almost the entire day. No windows and the only source of fresh air is AC. I’ve been feeling really unwell and sluggish after work and was constantly coming home with headaches. I started going out on my lunch and found I feel SO much better. No headaches, I felt so much more refreshed and energised and just generally a lot better.

i work in the outskirts of the city centre and found found that across the road there’s a big old disused cemetery and there’s lots of grass. It’s not a public park but also not just a graveyard, it’s sort of in between if that makes sense! Lots of grassy space and a lovely walk in the sun

it’s not a new graveyard, I think it might actually be a necropolis and the graves are all from a long, long, long time ago. It’s not used anymore and there’s never any family members or flowers or anything like that. Sometimes I’ll see some dog walkers but it’s often quiet

my usual route is I walk through there, sit on one of the big rocks near the exit (it’s not near any graves, it’s a big grassy clearing bit with some old big boulders) and then walk back through and go back to work. It takes me about an hour and I get steps in and get some fresh air and get out of my stuffy office room!

i mentioned it to a colleague at work when they asked where I go at lunch and they looked at me like I had 2 heads and said it was really weird to go for a walk in a necropolis every lunchtime and it’s disrespectful to eat lunch there. I didn’t ever consider that and I’m sort of worried I’ve been accidentally disrespectful or it’s a weird thing to do. I guess I just considered it a walk in the sun and a chance to get out for some fresh air and I never considered it a graveyard because it’s not a currently used one (IYSIM). And because there’s dog walkers I just assumed it was ok. I would NEVER sit and eat lunch near any graves, and I always take my litter with me and I never play music out loud. I literally just walk through it, eat lunch at the exit and read my book or listen to a podcast on my AirPods and then walk back through it and get my steps in and get some fresh air

but then my collegue pointed out that if there’s no benches and I have to eat lunch at the boulder at the exit then it’s because it’s weird to just walk through a necropolis and eat lunch near there

There’s often dog walkers but I don’t really see anyone else walking there on their lunch hour

is this weird/disrespectful? Think I just need some perspective on it and a 2nd opinion because what my collegue said caught me off guard a bit!

thanks in advance!

If you were sat on an actual grave eating your lunch then yes that’s disrespectful but your not are you. There’s nothing wrong with what you’re doing. It’s more disrespectful having dogs walk through and weeing near the graves!

This is true. Similar at Victoria Park in London. I have an ancestor buried in what used to be a graveyard under part of the park.

If you were having a rave every lunch time, I'd say "YABU"

You're not. So you're not. Your colleagues are the weird ones

It's not weird and it's not disrespectful. I love a cemetery walk. A lot of the cemeteries here in the US are also arboretums; they encourage people to walk/run/spend time there.

This one near me used to host weddings:
https://www.springgrove.org/

It's fine, and not unusual. I could possibly see the "disrespectful" argument if she thought you were spreading out a picnic blanket actually ON a grave and leaning against the headstone while you eat - but that in itself is a weird thing to assume someone would do. Perhaps she has never been to a graveyard like this and imagines it's just grave after grave with no public space?

Not weird. Highgate Cemetery is still in use but people go and have a wander around there. I used to wheel my DS round a cemetery when I needed him to sleep because it was nice and quiet. If you don’t sit on the graves and you take your rubbish home with you, which you do anyway, then I don’t see a problem at all. It’s not like you’re cracking open some beers next to someone’s funeral!

It’s not weird or disrespectful at all - cemeteries and churchyards are meant to be used like that. The benches aren’t only there for people who are mourning. They’re public spaces and lots of them are popular places to walk and relax.

I used to sit on a flat tombstone in a central Oxford churchyard and eat a croissant for breakfast every morning on my way to the library. The person buried there died in 1727, and a living descendant was highly unlikely to pass and be outraged. I frequently said hello to the vicar, who looked unperturbed.

Oh dear...there are some good cemeteries in my town and it never occurred to me that it would be disrespectful to sit with my laptop and a sandwich and be in company with the dead. It felt friendly.

There's one near me that's like this too; it is very old and most of the graves from the 19th century, but I know some people living still have loved ones buried there and come to visit their graves. I've had lunch in there many times, and I walk in it a lot, as do lots of people in my neighbourhood including dog walkers.
The local community is very proud and fond of it; it's a very special place and we all enjoy it.
You're not being weird at all.
Your actual work environment sounds dreadful, though; is there any possibility at all of having a room with a window?

I wouldn't have a problem with it

I don’t think it’s weird at all. We have a similar sounding cemetery in our road and it’s a lovely place to go for a walk. So long as you’re not sitting on a gravestone to eat your lunch, which you’re not, then I don’t see how it’s disrespectful.

Don’t forget to take vitamin D! I work in an office with no windows and was really deficient

Your colleague is clearly both very rude and quite bizarre. It's just an open green piece of land that happens to have graves? Half the parks near my house are churchyards/graveyards as well as normal park.
Just ignore them and keep going there.

To work in a small windowless room that's making you feel unwell isn't great. When was the last time an engineer cleaned/inspected your AC unit?

Tell office manager you feel it's stuffy and uncomfortable. They have an obligation to give you a decent healthy workspace.

When I was based in Glasgow I would often have my lunch at the Necropolis in the summer. It was relaxing and quite soothing.

You’re fine doing what you do, Op, although I do agree with pp’s that you should get your working environment assessed in regard to the H&S aspect. Many Victorian cemeteries were designed as ‘Garden cemeteries’ with the dual purpose of being spacious burial grounds that replaced the overcrowded town churchyards, and provided a open space for the living to walk and enjoy fresh air and nature away from the smoky town factories and domestic chimneys.

I don't think your behaviour is weird at all, OP. As PP say, graveyards are peaceful, beautiful, and interesting places: historically, sociologically and artistically.

I used to spend time in a nearby one in COVID lockdown and it was a quiet refuge with great company. Reading the gravestones and inferring the hugely different experiences of the familieshelped put my own experiences in perspective.

The other thing I liked was it had a few war graves managed by the brilliant CWGC (Commonwealth War Graves Commission). I enjoyed tracking these down and paying my respects to the people who died in both World Wars in our defence. Check them out and ask your colleague if avoiding these, especially as VE 80 day is coming up on May 8th 2025, is respectful?

www.cwgc.org/who-we-are/our-story/

of course its not disrespectful. She is the weird one. Tell her to keep her opinions to herself