Stop fucking touching me

[BeatleBattleInABottle]

Like seriously, stop it.

I am waking up with sore hips because you can't let me sleep without being all over me, I can't craft in the evening because you won't leave me along, I walk anywhere in the house and you follow me. I come out of the toilet to you standing at the door waiting. If I get a bath, you insist on coming to check that is what Im doing and then talking to me until I shout for help. I woke up last night because twice you drapped yourself over my face stopping me from breathing, I pushed you off only for you to do it again.

If I go away, you behave perfectly reasonably with other people. You don't insist on always touching them or having their attention. You don't give them "love bites" when they try to reas next to you. You don't pull their hair until they get up to make you breakfast.

Cat, I love you but please find someone else's lap.

I once woke up to find my parents dog stood on me just staring at me. My parents found it hilarious. As much as I love her, it's not what I really appreciate waking up to!

I love mine to bits but the sqwarking is non stop from 6 am.

But I’ve babied her so it’s my fault. Little floofy menace.

Least it was a dog and not a ghost!

You are The Chosen One.

Accept your fate or dcat will replace you....

Shut the cat in the kitchen overnight so it doesn’t disturb your sleep.

Don’t lie and make it worse 😂

Don’t you have a door/series of doors? I find that works very well in our house. Ground floor is where the kitchen, cat food bowls and cat flap are located. Having said that, our previous cat would howl like a banshee/new born if he was locked out our bedroom (at anytime time of day or night).

Haha, I don't even notice now. They stealth-mode onto the bed the moment DH gets up for work. I do tend to wake when the velcro one tries to crawl underneath my face though.

Oh this! Though it's my son's cat who has to protect me on the toilet so I end up with two collies poking their head round the door being batted at by the cat.

Sometimes one collie is already in with me before the cat, so the cat stalks in & the dog has no clue what to do cos there's no room for him to leave.

If the cat is out, my velcro collie is already waiting by the toilet itself before I've finished the sentence 'I'm just going to the loo'

Thankfully I work alone!!

It’s a post about a cat. If you can’t deal with it, don’t read it. Lots of people have trauma in their lives, they can’t expect the rest of the world to stop turning. It was not a personal attack on anyone

I feel for you, OP. It's warm here today so I just made the mistake of going on a work Teams call (I wfh) with bare feet. It's hard to concentrate on spreadsheets when a tabby menace is under the table, licking between your toes with a sandpaper tongue.