Stop fucking touching me

[BeatleBattleInABottle]

Like seriously, stop it.

I am waking up with sore hips because you can't let me sleep without being all over me, I can't craft in the evening because you won't leave me along, I walk anywhere in the house and you follow me. I come out of the toilet to you standing at the door waiting. If I get a bath, you insist on coming to check that is what Im doing and then talking to me until I shout for help. I woke up last night because twice you drapped yourself over my face stopping me from breathing, I pushed you off only for you to do it again.

If I go away, you behave perfectly reasonably with other people. You don't insist on always touching them or having their attention. You don't give them "love bites" when they try to reas next to you. You don't pull their hair until they get up to make you breakfast.

Cat, I love you but please find someone else's lap.

We call our teenage cat Baron Trump. He’s sometimes on trump tower (cat tree in the lounge) or Mara lago (in the hall where he has a cat bed) he goes to Mara lago when we eat as he tries to paw food from our plates. He does sleep in the lounge on his numerous beds 😆
we don’t co sleep with Baron because he’s a narcissist 🤣

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I feel you! Every time I use the bathroom there is a black lab, a tabby moggie and an 8 month old fighting through the door and watching me.

Oh to pee in peace, what luxury that would be.

My cat can be clingy too. She insists in sleeping on me every night. And sleeps on my thigh when I'm in my side. 🙄 But then I think she's chosen me to love and I'll miss it when she's gone. She feels the safest wrapped up next to me so then I just give in. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I tried to go for a wee alone the other day and got this 😂

I empathise.

My cat has had me up since 3am

Animals sleep in the kitchen in this house. Solves many problems.

@SpringIsSpringing25I genuinely choked on my tea at the thought of two colleagues either side of op🤣

My next door neighbour's cat is like this, but in MY home and my space.
I open my garden office door and it's sitting right on the other side so it gets hit by the door (if I remember it might be there I do check, but I am often not thinking "cat"). I can't walk around my garden w/o it wrapping round my feet and tripping me over. I can't open the back gate w/o it getting in the way. I can't leave the back door open as it comes in the house. It's doesn't scarper with a 'shoo' or a clap of the hands; I think it might be old or senile.
And fewer garden birds on the feeder 🙁

I presume he brings his owner great joy, but he's just an annoyance for me.

Knew immediately it would be a cat. This is my boy to a T! My gorgeous stalker! If he's not on me or staring at me he's sleeping on my PJs! He's a pervert and likes to peer in if I'm on the loo or in the shower.

Your cat has trained you.

You need to be smarter and more dominant than your cat.

What a charming response. Women who have been abused do not need to get a grip thanks. You don’t get to tell them they are over reacting. Hopefully your never in the position to find out.

Cat is an amateur, should be in the bathroom with you, not waiting outside the door......

I could not live like this. 🤮

I’m also in a toxic relationship with my cat. He’s very controlling and will literally shout at me if his meals are late, if I’ve been out of the house too long. He also has a very strict bedtime, 10:30 I’m rounded up and yelled at to get to bed and if I go later than this he will sulk under the kitchen table.

He will only eat his evening meal with a treat on, god help me if I forget, the shouting and stomping around the kitchen starts and won’t stop until he gets his way.

I don’t even get presents from him, not even a mouse! He’s all take and no give.

I’ve created a monster, buts he’s kinda cute.

Another one who can relate to this only with dogs.
I'm WFH today. Dogs are happily laying at the top of the stairs, opposite my office door. If I get up to go to the loo, do they stay there? No, I need protecting/company/whatever and they have to come to the bathroom too. 🙄

Cat, as per OPs post

Lol, sounds like my dog, except that we make her sleep in the kitchen overnight!

I had to go back to see what you were talking about🤣🤣

I've lost the use of my dominant hand and I'm having to use voice to message. It comes up with some utter nonsense, I do try to catch its mistakes but clearly miss some🤣🤣

I've had colleagues in the past I'd happily wake up with but many many more that I definitely wouldn't want to wake up with!!

My parents dog (so glad she's little!) once followed me into the toilet. I told her to get out which she did. I opened the door to find her sat waiting for me

We have a needy labrador but a much needier black cat. The cat has decided that some parts of our property are off limits to us and she screams blue murder if we go there. For example, going into the garden will earn you a 3 syllable scream but the garage gets you a full on tantrum at ear splitting decibels.

This. It’s not funny.

I object. Where is the cat-tax? Pics or it didn't happen.

Apparently, my voice to message thinks so🤣🤣

No wonder she woke up hot!!

Oh my God, the staring at you!
When she kneeds me, she states at me without blinking, like a maniac. It makes me feel really uncomfortable! 🤣
Last night, I refused to let her on my lap. She head butted, licked and pawed at me for literally 15mins while I pushed her away or blocked her. When she eventually gave up she sat upright next to me as close as she could and stared at me for over an hour.