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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel there is no future for children unless they

399 replies

Honeyyourfamilar · 10/04/2025 07:36

unless they start a business or are super academic or excel in their careers.

I grew up in a working class neighbourhood in London (zone 6 so maybe not London London) and so many of the parents were normal working class people who owned their own homes: postman, bus drivers, dinner ladies, mechanics. There was a couple who both worked in supermarkets and they owned their own home. In a few families only the bloke worked and that was enough to sustain the family - I am maybe showing my age.

These were people in their early 30s who were financially secure. Now those houses are worth £500k plus and there is no way someone working a low paid job could afford that.

Two people making £30k a year will get £240k mortgage, where is the other amount going to come from?

I think that young people don't have a future here anyone.

The only way someone who isn't earning a decent wage can afford to buy a house is if they get an inheritance or if their parents sell their £500k house, that they purchased for £30k, and downsize, and give a deposit to their kids.

The amount of families renting and dependent on housing benefit is just a disgrace. It also means people stay in horrible relationships because they cannot afford to leave.

This country is a ***.

OP posts:
Trumpsgoneloco · 12/04/2025 09:26

At least interest rates are much lower than I was first paying

I thought the 5% rates of today were not too dissimilar to the high rates of the past because the cost of something matters when you are looking at percentages? And of course no MIRAS today.

picturethispatsy · 12/04/2025 09:33

ColdWaterDipper · 11/04/2025 19:53

YANBU, my in laws were both in minimum wage jobs, and MIL in fact didn’t work at all before her 3 children were at secondary school. They bought a house when first married and moved to a large 5 bedroom house when my husband (youngest child) was 2. They paid the mortgage off in their early 50s and downsized to a bungalow in their late 50s. They still live in that bungalow, both on state pensions and have a small amount of savings (£30k ish) from the sale of their house and don’t spend any more than their pensions, but relatively often have cafe lunches out etc.

It is completely unimaginable that 2 parents on one minimum wage could have the same lifestyle now as my in laws had. Indeed, my
husband and I are both in senior professional roles (but public sector for the family friendly working) and couldn’t have afforded a 3rd child or to buy anything more than a 2 bedroomed cottage / tiny 3 bed new build if we were reliant on our wages alone. I am the child of very wealthy boomer parents and without the generosity of my folks our lives would be very different.

This is my experience too of my parents, in-laws, my aunts and uncles and all their friends. All born in the 1940s/early 1950s.

They were all able to get on the property ladder in their early 20s, some on one wage, some on one plus a part time second wage.
They all tell me the lending policy was back then you could borrow either 2x or 3x your income/annual salary. That is UNIMAGINABLE today. You’d have to borrow 10x your family’s income/salary.

As a consequence, many had their mortgages paid off young (despite going through a period of high interest rates in the 90s) and/or were able to easily move up the property ladder and now sit on large estates of half to three quarters of a million (or more as in the case of my uncle who owns a holiday home plus his large family home).

Teajenny7 · 12/04/2025 09:43

We moved from the North of England and Scotland in the 1980s. We left home, culture,family and network for employment.
We took Norman Tebbitts supposed advise(it make have born a misquote) and got on our bikes in search of work.

We both had degrees from an excellent university and post graduate qualifications in our professions. Most of our friends from University emigrated

In all we lived in 5 areas of England and a stint abroad. We eventually bought a home in the early 90s.

We ended up in the South East. Not by choice but necessity as we needed permanent contracts and job security to get a mortgage.

Previously, rents were cheaper and there were more council houses. Those council houses were bought by the right to buy. Often somebody would buy Grandma's house at mega reduced price (her home for 50 years). In time it was rented out or sold.

Buy to let mortgages have caused lots of problems .

AI will affect employment in a big way. It would seem that the only jobs that may be reasonably secure in the future will be Trades or other hands on jobs.

Snakebite61 · 12/04/2025 10:04

Emeraldsrock · 10/04/2025 07:55

Of course there are jobs in the north. What an ignorant post.

Good luck finding one.

Childminder60 · 12/04/2025 10:35

He is 28 plumbing, bricklaying etc. He has functional skills in maths and English. He also has an African name.

CrownCoats · 12/04/2025 10:43

MoveYourSelfDearie · 10/04/2025 07:46

You are being unreasonable to equate greater London with the rest of the UK.

I do agree the outlook is worse than it was in the 90s and house prices are far too high in comparison with salaries. But it's not as bad as you say if you look above Watford

I would advise that couple to move north and buy a reasonable starter house for around £200k.

I disagree. There is a vast difference between house prices and wages everywhere in the UK. £200k won’t buy you much anywhere.

usernamealreadytaken · 12/04/2025 10:55

Honeyyourfamilar · 10/04/2025 07:47

Are there jobs there?

Yes, we have postmen, bus drivers, dinner ladies, mechanics, and lots of other “normal working class people”. In our area, you can still buy a two#bed house for around £150k, so perfectly doable on a “normal” salary.

AlphaRadiationIsHeliumNuclei · 12/04/2025 11:43

Childminder60 · 12/04/2025 10:35

He is 28 plumbing, bricklaying etc. He has functional skills in maths and English. He also has an African name.

He needs to ask someone to check his CV and application letter. It sounds like there's an issue there somewhere.

I know that there are racist people out there but I don't think it's likely that all 80 of his applications were viewed by racists.

TourangaLeila · 12/04/2025 12:01

Veebee89 · 10/04/2025 08:27

“Move North” is only said by people who don’t know the North. I live in Manchester and a 3-bed mid-terrace in the area where I live is £700k. House prices are similar to the outer London zones. What you mean is move to a small town, which is wear the affordable housing is in the UK - small towns with no transport links which are difficult to commute from and therefore undesirable and impractical places for young families to live.

This is also bullshit 😂

I live in the East Midlands, with great transport links and even a 1.5 hour fast train to London. Great schools and a decent council service, plenty of local shops and a good community feel.

3 bed semi's round here average £250k

JHound · 12/04/2025 14:01

AnonbecauseIamlackinginspiration · 11/04/2025 22:42

20/30 years ago, nobody I knew bought before the age of 30, most early to mid thirties. I mean professional single women on their own, obviously it’s different if you meet someone and settle down earlier. This expectation that everyone has the right to buy straight out of uni/first few years of work is a new thing and unrealistic and not ‘the norm’. That said, the rental market is just awful and needs reform asap . That’s the issue I think, it’s impossible to rent and save.

I don’t think anybody has the expectation they will but straight out of university. Just that they will be able to buy SOMETHING and close to their support networks.

Agree that rents making saving for deposits challenging.

JHound · 12/04/2025 14:03

usernamealreadytaken · 12/04/2025 10:55

Yes, we have postmen, bus drivers, dinner ladies, mechanics, and lots of other “normal working class people”. In our area, you can still buy a two#bed house for around £150k, so perfectly doable on a “normal” salary.

So fairly useless to people not working those jobs!

usernamealreadytaken · 12/04/2025 14:45

JHound · 12/04/2025 14:03

So fairly useless to people not working those jobs!

Did you actually read the OP’s original post?

”I grew up in a working class neighbourhood in London (zone 6 so maybe not London London) and so many of the parents were normal working class people who owned their own homes: postman, bus drivers, dinner ladies, mechanics. There was a couple who both worked in supermarkets and they owned their own home. In a few families only the bloke worked and that was enough to sustain the family - I am maybe showing my age.”

My response was in response to OP asking if there were jobs in the north, and there are plenty of jobs of the sort which enabled her view of “normal working class people” to buy a home. HTH.

NonComm · 12/04/2025 15:16

My parents were in minimum wage jobs in London in the 60’s. A lot of their income went on private rent and they could never afford a deposit never mind a mortgage. We were eventually evicted (only one bedroom) and they were lucky enough to get a council flat. Later on, they both refused to buy or let us buy it for them as they wanted other young families to have access to a council property. I hate to think what would happen to similar families now.

Whyamiherenow · 18/04/2025 08:04

JHound · 11/04/2025 21:13

Some industries are more London focused. When I looked in my home town within my industry / area of focus - there was hardly anything.

Of course there are jobs available everywhere in the UK!

But not all jobs are available in every area.

Edited

I’m probably quite hypocritical tbh. I work in law and my office is London based etc but I live in the far north over 4 hours by train from London and go to London once a month. So I do know you’re right and I’m lucky I’m senior enough in my career to do this.

latetothefisting · 18/04/2025 12:57

Veebee89 · 10/04/2025 08:27

“Move North” is only said by people who don’t know the North. I live in Manchester and a 3-bed mid-terrace in the area where I live is £700k. House prices are similar to the outer London zones. What you mean is move to a small town, which is wear the affordable housing is in the UK - small towns with no transport links which are difficult to commute from and therefore undesirable and impractical places for young families to live.

9/10 for stealth boast that you can afford a house in an overpriced nice area
0/10 for actual accuracy
Manchester isn't the whole of "the North"
It's not even the only city in "the North"
and even if it was, there are many many many houses available for less than £700k

If only there was a way to fact check this beyond bullshit anec-data....Oh wait!
Rightmove seach:
Within 1 mile of Manchester, 3bed houses, less than £700k
5,164 houses currently listed, the cheapest for £64k

There would obviously be even more results if you included flats, went 2 miles out, only needed 2 beds, etc.

I do wonder if people who spout this nonsense understand that everyone else also has access to the internet and can, you know, check things...

PerkyGreenCat · 18/04/2025 14:49

@latetothefisting where is the 3 bed house priced at 64k within 1 mile of Manchester??? Send me the link please! I've just checked and can't find it. The cheapest I've found is 120-170k but they're in rough areas.
I haven't seen anything other than derelict buildings for sale at 64k in years.

icreaminbarnsley · 21/04/2025 16:35

This is the same in all major cities. London, Dublin, Barcelona....no one on an average salary, let alone a low one is going to be able to afford to buy unless they have help with the deposit. We need to rethink how we are living if we want the younger generation to have a chance at being socially mobile - home ownership is key. I've been watching a lot of Tiny Houses and it seems common for those who want to live in Barcelona and Lisbon to accept that if they want to live there they have to drastically manage their expectations. A tiny one bedroom flat (or studio) is the norm, no gardens or ensuites for the dc!

Flutterbyby · 21/04/2025 16:37

icreaminbarnsley · 21/04/2025 16:35

This is the same in all major cities. London, Dublin, Barcelona....no one on an average salary, let alone a low one is going to be able to afford to buy unless they have help with the deposit. We need to rethink how we are living if we want the younger generation to have a chance at being socially mobile - home ownership is key. I've been watching a lot of Tiny Houses and it seems common for those who want to live in Barcelona and Lisbon to accept that if they want to live there they have to drastically manage their expectations. A tiny one bedroom flat (or studio) is the norm, no gardens or ensuites for the dc!

I don't believe this is true. We're constantly being told this, but also every house is bought in no time. I know lots of people buying houses, on fairly average wages, definitely not all getting given deposits.

icreaminbarnsley · 21/04/2025 16:39

Flutterbyby · 21/04/2025 16:37

I don't believe this is true. We're constantly being told this, but also every house is bought in no time. I know lots of people buying houses, on fairly average wages, definitely not all getting given deposits.

Have you ever asked these average earners how they are managing to buy London properties?

LBFseBrom · 21/04/2025 16:44

icreaminbarnsley · 21/04/2025 16:39

Have you ever asked these average earners how they are managing to buy London properties?

We have mortgages like anyone else. I've always lived in the London area, some places are more expensive than others and I know we could have bought much bigger outside London but we were happy enough with what we had. My son has just bought an extended 3 bed semi with garage, drive, garden back and front; downstairs it has two living rooms, a 'cloakroom' and a big kitchen with laundry area. It's in a very pleasant and convenient area. A few houses up the road, and I mean literally a few, it's a different borough and the prices go up enormously. That's life. We never had any help to buy.

Flutterbyby · 21/04/2025 16:55

icreaminbarnsley · 21/04/2025 16:39

Have you ever asked these average earners how they are managing to buy London properties?

Where did I say London?

icreaminbarnsley · 21/04/2025 22:51

LBFseBrom · 21/04/2025 16:44

We have mortgages like anyone else. I've always lived in the London area, some places are more expensive than others and I know we could have bought much bigger outside London but we were happy enough with what we had. My son has just bought an extended 3 bed semi with garage, drive, garden back and front; downstairs it has two living rooms, a 'cloakroom' and a big kitchen with laundry area. It's in a very pleasant and convenient area. A few houses up the road, and I mean literally a few, it's a different borough and the prices go up enormously. That's life. We never had any help to buy.

Edited

And were you and your son average earners? If so, how did you afford the deposit?

Summer2025 · 22/04/2025 04:07

icreaminbarnsley · 21/04/2025 22:51

And were you and your son average earners? If so, how did you afford the deposit?

We didn't buy a 3 bed semi but a 1930s 2 bed flat in our 20s when I was on 25k and dh 50k. Quite normal london wages in 2019. Lived with parents and married in early 20s so dual income from the start.

We are in a postcode which has the uk's most expensive street (average 11 million quid for a house) though our flat is much more modest as I prioritized schools over square footage.

icreaminbarnsley · 23/04/2025 07:14

Summer2025 · 22/04/2025 04:07

We didn't buy a 3 bed semi but a 1930s 2 bed flat in our 20s when I was on 25k and dh 50k. Quite normal london wages in 2019. Lived with parents and married in early 20s so dual income from the start.

We are in a postcode which has the uk's most expensive street (average 11 million quid for a house) though our flat is much more modest as I prioritized schools over square footage.

Edited

Yes but if you are the poster I think you are, you lived with your in-laws for years to save a deposit? The vast majority of married couples (or their parents!) will not consider this an option.

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