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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel there is no future for children unless they

399 replies

Honeyyourfamilar · 10/04/2025 07:36

unless they start a business or are super academic or excel in their careers.

I grew up in a working class neighbourhood in London (zone 6 so maybe not London London) and so many of the parents were normal working class people who owned their own homes: postman, bus drivers, dinner ladies, mechanics. There was a couple who both worked in supermarkets and they owned their own home. In a few families only the bloke worked and that was enough to sustain the family - I am maybe showing my age.

These were people in their early 30s who were financially secure. Now those houses are worth £500k plus and there is no way someone working a low paid job could afford that.

Two people making £30k a year will get £240k mortgage, where is the other amount going to come from?

I think that young people don't have a future here anyone.

The only way someone who isn't earning a decent wage can afford to buy a house is if they get an inheritance or if their parents sell their £500k house, that they purchased for £30k, and downsize, and give a deposit to their kids.

The amount of families renting and dependent on housing benefit is just a disgrace. It also means people stay in horrible relationships because they cannot afford to leave.

This country is a ***.

OP posts:
Trumpsgoneloco · 11/04/2025 20:03

And I agree, house prices in outskirts of London, which is now usually referred to as London, are outrageous and out of reach of young people starting out in life in ordinary jobs.

tbf it's even worse in inner London. I have family that bought in areas like Tooting, Hackney, Herne Hill, Brixton, West Norwood from the 80s to late 90s on one salary for cheap and you need serious money for that now.

IMustDoMoreExercise · 11/04/2025 20:15

My dad managed to buy a house in the 1970s in zone 6 London on a salary which was so low that we qualified for free school meals.

GrouachMacbeth · 11/04/2025 20:21

Think even further north. In Glasgow I put in a search on Rightmove. - 1200 properties for sale priced from £50000 to £140000. Flats, semis and terraced. Gardens. There are a lot of jobs in Glasgow. We dont eat English people here. The waters safe to drink, the beer is good, there's gin and wonderful views and places to visit in the city and a short distance away.

Mere1 · 11/04/2025 20:25

Honeyyourfamilar · 10/04/2025 07:36

unless they start a business or are super academic or excel in their careers.

I grew up in a working class neighbourhood in London (zone 6 so maybe not London London) and so many of the parents were normal working class people who owned their own homes: postman, bus drivers, dinner ladies, mechanics. There was a couple who both worked in supermarkets and they owned their own home. In a few families only the bloke worked and that was enough to sustain the family - I am maybe showing my age.

These were people in their early 30s who were financially secure. Now those houses are worth £500k plus and there is no way someone working a low paid job could afford that.

Two people making £30k a year will get £240k mortgage, where is the other amount going to come from?

I think that young people don't have a future here anyone.

The only way someone who isn't earning a decent wage can afford to buy a house is if they get an inheritance or if their parents sell their £500k house, that they purchased for £30k, and downsize, and give a deposit to their kids.

The amount of families renting and dependent on housing benefit is just a disgrace. It also means people stay in horrible relationships because they cannot afford to leave.

This country is a ***.

I'm sure others will say this but it’s a big country. Houses are much cheaper out of the South East. They can move.

7taxis · 11/04/2025 20:44

Maybe England will become Italian style in a few decades, generations living together 😂cheaper for all, no care costs (cash cost I mean not the huge human cost of looking after an elderly family member) , no nursery costs, provided everyone actually gets on ok and family unit is coherent it can work well. Although culture is different here but maybe it becomes normalised. Demand comes down, prices go down then...

Housemattin · 11/04/2025 20:50

You buy a flat, out of expensive areas, spend your weekends doing it up then gradually upgrade. That's how we did it and our parents I don't know anyone who just walked into a 3 bedroom house as their first purchase. We house shared well into our thirties in London before buying. Both graduates with reasonable jobs.

JHound · 11/04/2025 21:13

Whyamiherenow · 11/04/2025 18:24

The …. Are there jobs in the north comment. This has made me laugh! There are the exact same jobs referenced in the op. We live in the north and have a really lovely financially stable normal life. I manage people (remotely) who live in London / Greater London and do have to scrimp and save to get by a lot more than we do despite our salaries not being dissimilar.

Some industries are more London focused. When I looked in my home town within my industry / area of focus - there was hardly anything.

Of course there are jobs available everywhere in the UK!

But not all jobs are available in every area.

Trumpsgoneloco · 11/04/2025 21:26

Maybe England will become Italian style in a few decades, generations living together 😂cheaper for all, no care costs (cash cost I mean not the huge human cost of looking after an elderly family member) , no nursery costs, provided everyone actually gets on ok and family unit is coherent it can work well. Although culture is different here but maybe it becomes normalised. Demand comes down, prices go down then...

Nah, culture is too different.

BobbySox71 · 11/04/2025 21:34

This is one reason I’m so relieved dd decided on a career in the Royal Navy. Although she has a little inheritance this would be a deposit on a decent starter home somewhere else in the country but definitely nowhere near where we live in Greater London or Home Counties.
She is joining the Fleet Air Arm who are based in Somerset, she could afford to buy there. I’d be tempted to join her there, had enough of HS2 works on my doorstep

laraitopbanana · 11/04/2025 21:36

MoveYourSelfDearie · 10/04/2025 07:52

No, obviously not. In the north we're all fat, lazy and on the dole. We spend our time sitting in the pub drinking endless pints or training whippets. Apart from the children, they leave school at 11 and go down the pit. Not to mine coal, there isn't any, just to crawl around on their hands and kness wearing a hoody looking for a gang to join

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looool

Neverenoughbiscuits · 11/04/2025 21:36

Emeraldsrock · 10/04/2025 07:55

Of course there are jobs in the north. What an ignorant post.

I don't think it's ignorant. I live in a market town in the West Midlands. There are very few jobs available that pay above minimum wage unless you work in a niche market. Looking at the jobs market, I would say average salaries here must be low compared with elsewhere. However, a three bed house will still set you back 180k plus.

Flutterbyby · 11/04/2025 21:37

ComeAsYouAreAsAFriend · 10/04/2025 07:51

I think it is an issue everywhere. Same in Ireland, property and rent through the roof, cost of living just keeps going up and very few are in jobs that have wages increasing at the same rate. Disposable income has drastically reduced. I don't agree it is just an issue in London, many parts of the UK have an issue with unaffordable housing and rents.

And yet, houses are all selling, and every bar and restaurant is packed out 🤷‍♀️

SatanicAngel · 11/04/2025 21:50

Housemattin · 11/04/2025 20:50

You buy a flat, out of expensive areas, spend your weekends doing it up then gradually upgrade. That's how we did it and our parents I don't know anyone who just walked into a 3 bedroom house as their first purchase. We house shared well into our thirties in London before buying. Both graduates with reasonable jobs.

Well my parents did, but they were already in their 30s by then, had to get help off my nan (on the condition that she live with us), were doing it one FT and one PT wage and it was the late 80s.

latetothefisting · 11/04/2025 21:55

Honeyyourfamilar · 10/04/2025 07:47

Are there jobs there?

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no, there are no jobs anywhere outside London now the pits have closed

AnonbecauseIamlackinginspiration · 11/04/2025 22:42

20/30 years ago, nobody I knew bought before the age of 30, most early to mid thirties. I mean professional single women on their own, obviously it’s different if you meet someone and settle down earlier. This expectation that everyone has the right to buy straight out of uni/first few years of work is a new thing and unrealistic and not ‘the norm’. That said, the rental market is just awful and needs reform asap . That’s the issue I think, it’s impossible to rent and save.

Trumpsgoneloco · 11/04/2025 22:46

This expectation that everyone has the right to buy straight out of uni/first few years of work is a new thing and unrealistic and not ‘the norm

You realise FTB age has moved out considerably?

NonComm · 11/04/2025 23:24

its time that the Uk put a ban on non- resident, overseas buyers purchasing property here. I don’t know how they’d do it though. Also, it’s difficult for Londoners to move far away from our family networks but even the suburbs are becoming unaffordable.

ThistleTits · 12/04/2025 01:05

Honeyyourfamilar · 10/04/2025 07:47

Are there jobs there?

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No, everyone is raking it in on the dole. Of course there are jobs. How do you think people survive?

Goldenbear · 12/04/2025 01:47

SatanicAngel · 11/04/2025 21:50

Well my parents did, but they were already in their 30s by then, had to get help off my nan (on the condition that she live with us), were doing it one FT and one PT wage and it was the late 80s.

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My parents bought a four bedroom detached house in West London at age 25, no family money but my Dad had pretty good job due to uni education and my Mum was a teacher so double income which was rare in the 70s. The difference is the social contract wasn't dead then so if you did work hard, go to uni, got a graduate job it paid off!

CherryBlossomPie · 12/04/2025 03:22

stargazingortryingto · 10/04/2025 07:55

I think this all the time OP. How has it come to this when in living memory working people had the sort of security that seems fantastical these days? Why are you being told to move to the other end of the country, away from where you grew up and your network, as though that’s to be expected for a working person?

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that, whilst this is happening to working people and increasingly middle class people, the wealthiest keep getting richer and richer and acquire more and more assets. Gary’s economics makes the point far more eloquently than I am able to, but he advocates a wealth tax on those with assets exceeding £10millon in value, using that tax revenue to counteract some of the effects of inequality.

If something doesn’t change, all that will matter in the future is how much you inherit. How hard you work will be irrelevant. I don’t think that’s good for society, or the individuals concerned, who would be princelings or paupers respectively. It will require big policy shifts, including assets coming back into the hands of the state, and the introduction of a wealth tax which has to be borne by those who have more than £10 million of assets.

Note this is not income tax. I think workers are already taxed enough, probably too much, whilst wealth is not taxed at the same level. Tax wealth, not work, and use those taxes to fund our services and help the government get the assets back.

ETA:,Hopefully by doing this, we will give our children a fighting chance at a fairer future.

Edited

Agree. We do need wealth tax. I also support philanthropic investment.

Mere1 · 12/04/2025 06:35

7taxis · 11/04/2025 20:44

Maybe England will become Italian style in a few decades, generations living together 😂cheaper for all, no care costs (cash cost I mean not the huge human cost of looking after an elderly family member) , no nursery costs, provided everyone actually gets on ok and family unit is coherent it can work well. Although culture is different here but maybe it becomes normalised. Demand comes down, prices go down then...

Huge human cost of looking after young children in retirement too.

Childminder60 · 12/04/2025 07:14

And how do you get one as my son applied for 80 apprenticeships? No interviews

RosesAndHellebores · 12/04/2025 07:38

DorothyStorm · 10/04/2025 09:29

It is funny how male oriented trades are very well paid yet female oriented professions are not. Teaching and nursing hot better paid (then stopped) when sognificsntly more men entered the field. And GP’s are striking over pay and conditions for the first time ever after the shift of GP’s switched from mainly male to mainly female. And even then the BMA states:

Women GPs earn on average 15.3% less than men and clinical academics 11.9% less than men. The total non-adjusted gender pay gap is 24.4% for hospital doctors, 33.5% for GPs and 21.4% for clinical academics.

Almost like it is the result of the patriarchy and not women choosing poorly…again.

also: ‘While career choices and subject choices play a role, the gender pay gap also exists within the same occupations, suggesting that women in male-dominated roles are paid less than similarly educated men’ A little google AI summary.

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Certainly in London, women used to be able to earn well as secretaries.

Hairdressing, beauticians, wedding planning, etc, can all bring in money. As can curtain making.

Meadowfinch · 12/04/2025 08:32

Childminder60 · 12/04/2025 07:14

And how do you get one as my son applied for 80 apprenticeships? No interviews

@child @Childminder60 I would ask a careers advisor to look at his next applications before submitting them.

If he is applying for apprenticeships for which he has relevant GCSEs or can show an aptitude, I think there might be something amiss with his applications.

What sort of apprenticeship is he looking for?

Firethehorse · 12/04/2025 09:22

I hear you OP but I think expectations have also changed. When I moved to London I first shared a room in a working people’s hostel to save money, I was working full time and took a second part time job. I come from a very working class family and expected to have to move away to ‘get on’. My first property was bought with another family member in the same situation and then I was early 30’s and we also took a lodger. I was also taking extra qualifications in my own time to try to better my prospects as interest rates were spiralling.
It is difficult to get on the property ladder, but not impossible if you consider buying with someone, getting a smaller flat, a longer commute, having a lodger, second job etc. At least interest rates are much lower than I was first paying, it’s not all doom and gloom.