One day old baby in pub

[Frenchie01]

So family member gave birth to first baby yesterday afternoon, she's a very young mum only 17 , normal delivery but episiotomy, baby good weight healthy. Was discharged home today and a couple of hours later was at the local pub not drinking alcohol just showing baby off and eating a meal , but am I right in thinking a day old baby baby is really too young to be in a pub or anywhere really , also worried she should be resting as obviously will be sore. Other family members have said I'm being old fashioned am I.

It might be the recommendation in some countries but it isn't in the UK. NHS doesn't have any recommendations for new mums to stay at home for weeks on end.

A new baby staying in for weeks on end just isn't practical in the real world. Even assuming that the mum has a fully supportive husband, he still has to go back to work after 2 weeks.

What happens if there is an older child? Do they have to stay in the whole time too because there is nobody to take them to the park or a toddler group. There are so many reasons to leave the house even aside from keeping sane. Most people don't have family or a nanny 24/7 that can get stuff done for weeks. I would have gone crazy if my mum or MIL had to move in for the best part of 2 months (assuming we are waiting for jabs) not that they could since they lived miles away and worked full time.

@AussieManque

staying at home for weeks on end would be sooooo bad for the mothers mental health.

What happens if there is an older child? Do they have to stay in the whole time too because there is nobody to take them to the park or a toddler group.

Also the fact that toddlers and young children are constantly bringing home germs and bugs from their school or nursery anyway. We’ve been through phases where it felt like a new illness was in our house every fortnight or so due to toddler at nursery.

if a mild cold is ‘dangerous for newborns’ wouldn’t we be advised to keep our older children elsewhere since they’re attending settings every day with multiple other kids.

again in this scenario, it is regarding a Day old baby, new born

We went to the supermarket and an elderly gent said “oooh that’s a fresh one” 😆 made me laugh. Just wanted to get out for a bit, I don’t see any harm in it.

With DS2 I was turfed out of hospital within a few hours of having him, and later that day DH and I walked into town with him and had a coffee. Don’t see how that’s any different to lunch in Wetherspoons or wherever.

My DS came out in chicken pox the day after we brought DD home from hospital so she was one day old. Our GP was very concerned and I had to check in daily in case she caught it because chicken pox in a baby under two weeks has a high risk of death/brain damage, and newborns can develop sepsis from the mildest of infections in the first few days of life.

So to me it makes sense to limit exposure in the first few days (not for months like people are saying). It would be impractical to eliminate all risk, you can’t banish older children to relatives. A walk and some fresh air would be low risk. Sitting in a crowded indoor space at the height of flu/cold/Covid season would be less sensible.

Can I point out to the posters pointing out the risk between hospitals and a pub. If Mum or baby are in hospital post-delivery, there’s a bloody good reason why they need to be there. They don’t give you a hospital bed for a rest. And a hospital and pub are not the only options of places to be, it’s not an either/or.

It’s no skin off my nose where a mother chooses to take her baby, but saying “A pub is no more risky than a hospital” is a facile argument when in fact they both carry risk. The fact is that you have to be in one for medical reasons, but there’s no need to be at the other.

Unfortunate timing but the risk of him contracting it would be extremely low due to maternal antibodies. My older child brought home chickenpox when younger DC was 5 months old- he caught it but it was very very mild. The dr said this was due to still having some antibody protection (although it would have worn off a fair bit since birth). It’s very fascinating.

And the point is?

Absolutely. I couldn't imagine staying at home for weeks and a mother with poor mental health isn't going to benefit a baby.

Speaking as one of the people who's pointed that out about pubs, it's been in response to obviously idiotic claims about things baby needs. As have been a lot of those who mentioned postnatal wards. Facile of you to pretend people are claiming it's an either/or. And while we need to be in a postnatal ward for medical reasons, they certainly don't need to be as awful as they often are for medical reasons, which again is a point a lot of us have been making. Someone talked about not having seen a cleaner for 5 days when they were in one, for example.

no one is talking aobut weeks, well some people are but that wasnt the original point of the discussion

Day one of a newborn baby’s life only hours old spent in a pub = grim.

End of.

Would an artisan cafe be ‘grim’?

So? Even when a baby is a day old, the mother has been cooped up in hospital. If she feels up to it, it's good for her to get out.

The baby doesn't care as long as they are fed and clean.

@Livingbytheocean

why exactly is it grim?

Personally I look back on those initial days with my first born as a wonderful haze of love, getting to know each other in our own little bubble. Nursing her, singing to her, bathing her - being in awe of her. I remember the smells and the feelings of having this new little human and had no desire to "show her off", although I was happy for close family to visit.

I do not class myself as 'pfb' material and of course when you have subsequent babies practicalities take over and my DD2 was taken out on in her first week of life.

But those early days with my first daughter, just me, DH and her - I treasure those memories.

Day one of a newborn baby's life only hours old spent being cuddled and fed by loving family outside the home in a perfectly safe environment where mum is relaxed and happy = nice

End of.

I went to Costco the day after my c section new baby in tow because it was my oldest birthday party the following day 🤷🏻‍♀️. Not everyone is the same . Stop judging others on how they mother or how they recover . I was also driving 1 day after my last c section new baby in tow because I felt great .
with my first I was 19 and went grocery shopping and lunch the following day . My babies are all winter ones too ,why do you think babies need to be closed inside is beyond me .

Good on her if she had a good labour after which she could sit /walk ok. My first, no way 29 hours foreceps etc. My second went to pub about 3 days later with baby and toddler to eat a meal.

I missed a midwife appointment on my baby's second day because I went for a three mile walk. Should I be confined as well?

My weeks-old baby wasn’t intubated in PICU with RSV because on day 3 I went to a cafe gasp, it was because…….she has a big brother who goes to school.

Staying home for weeks on end would have made precisely fuck all difference to her immune system.

I was out trying bridesmaid dresses on the day after I came out of hospital with baby number 1 and doing my volunteer job 3 days after baby 2 was born. If she’s happy let her crack on. It’s difficult enough to adjust to parenthood without people telling you want you ‘should’ be doing all the time.