To think therapy culture has gone too far?

[BeSharpOliveHedgehog]

Not every bad day is trauma. Not every disagreement is “toxic.” Some people just need to toughen up and stop pathologising normal emotions. AIBU to think the rise of therapy speak (“boundaries,” “gaslighting,” “narcissist”) is turning everyone into self-obsessed armchair psychologists?

Not every disagreement is “toxic

I agree on this. Being able to listen to and understand others who have different points of view from you is essential to society and your own emotional health ( as well as being able to hold well informed opinions). Believing you are ‘unsafe’ when you hear different views, or that others with different views are ‘fascists and Nazis’ is a terrible modern trend that is really unhealthy on an individual and societal level.

I also think there is an unhealthy trend to Uber individualism. I think we see this in young people who obsess on ‘discovering their gender identity’ from a hundred possible variations. I do believe there are people with gender dysphoria,so I am not talking about them. I am talking about the trend to over analyze how you appear TO YOURSELF. Self reflection and self knowledge is vital. But that should be about reflecting on your interactions with others, how well you approached a task. In others words, reflecting on your interactions with the world. Not reflecting endlessly on how you appear to yourself and obsessively labeling it.

More controversially, the value of ignoring problems is under rated. I have found many problems do indeed go away if you stop thinking about them. The trick is discern which problems you need to focus on, and which only exist because you are feeding them with attention.

Yeah, I am not sure about that either.

At then end of the day, if you are sad, so what? You shouldn’t really do anything differently because you are sad. You still have to go to work and do all the things you have to do, regardless of feeling sad. Learning how to power on is an important skill. If you avoid doing stuff because you are sad, or anxious or scared, you are going to have problems and be less successful in every part of your life.

You do need to learn when you are having problematic feelings you do need to listen to and address. But a lot of day to day feelings, however uncomfortable, are just ones we need to learn to live alongside, and get on with life regardless.

I think a lot of people could benefit from therapy and can't afford it.
So more therapy culture, please.

I'm a therapist and I couldn't afford it either. A lot of 'therapy culture' has helped ensure this!

Yes, rumination is a key hallmark of depression. Ruminating on the negatives - which unlimited talking therapy effectively is - can very easily exacerbate the problem. For me it also started to feel quite disgustingly self-indulgent! Every week I would leave therapy feeling utterly bereft. It did me more good to stop and use that time to walk/run/make plans with friends, essentially crack on with life.

You've pretty much described using behavioural activation to treat depression!

A decent therapist will tailor sessions to ensure they are focused on supporting a client to reach a goal or overcome a problem, they will have a treatment plan, will be able to explain how they have helped people with similar problems previously, how many sessions they anticipate it taking, and will be open about their training and accreditation.

The therapists that provide open-ended, expensive, person-centred discussions for years on end build dependency that doesn't help anyone but keeps them well paid.