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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you don’t get out of paying the bill because you don’t drink?

458 replies

ThatHardyWaspAgain · 09/04/2025 19:58

I’m sure this has been done many times before by people in similar scenarios.

I went out for a bit of lunch with two friend’s and one of them brought another friend along that I’ve never met but was nice enough.

However, when it came to the bill, she said ‘’Can we please calculate it all with the alcohol you’ve had separately paid for? Because I only had classical cokes’’

So, we did as she asked. Added up everything but removed the drinks. So 3 of us paid for our drinks in a split, and then did another split for the rest with her and her food and classical colas.

The annoying bit is, she had 3 of them. And they weren’t really much different in price to most of our alcohol.

We all had the same roast and mango cheesecake.

I wouldn’t mind but she kept insisting we all had a dessert so she didn’t feel alone in having one. We’re adults after all but it is a bit annoying

Separate thread to come to see if I would be U to tell my friend not to bring her along again

She also didn’t tip.

OP posts:
NC28 · 09/04/2025 20:27

I want to know more about the classical cokes. When she ordered them, did she ask for classical cokes? Never in my puff have I heard Coke called this.

RickiRaccoon · 09/04/2025 20:27

She sounds a bit of a pain but no big deal to split the bill. She probably thought the cokes would come up as much less compared to the alcohol. You also should've just not ordered a dessert if you didn't want one.

IAmNotASheep · 09/04/2025 20:27

ThatHardyWaspAgain · 09/04/2025 20:03

Our alcohol total was £12.50 and her cokes all came to £10.12

So it’s okay for us to sub her drinks just because they’re non alcohol?

I was going to say it wouldn’t be ok on the non drinker but based on this cost update then she was being unreasonable.

Well you know next time someone invites a friend….

Strangecat · 09/04/2025 20:30

No one forced fed you the pudding. You are an adult and made your own decision on it!
Secondly, you guys can’t sort out a simple bill. sorry to say, but this pathetic.
I don’t drink Alcohol and would not pay for my drinking friends. We usually split the bill like Adults! pay for what I eat, drunk and give extra for service charges that are included on the bill.

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 09/04/2025 20:30

ThatHardyWaspAgain · 09/04/2025 20:03

Our alcohol total was £12.50 and her cokes all came to £10.12

So it’s okay for us to sub her drinks just because they’re non alcohol?

That only happened because you lot weirdly didn’t agree to just pay your own bills and overcomplicated the maths of it.

BobbyBiscuits · 09/04/2025 20:31

I don't really understand. She asked that she only pays for her own food and drinks? Surely that's reasonable.

Why not just stick with that. You pay for yours, she pays for hers.

Lol at 'classical' cola. Maybe it's really expensive because it comes with a full orchestra?

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 09/04/2025 20:31

BobbyBiscuits · 09/04/2025 20:31

I don't really understand. She asked that she only pays for her own food and drinks? Surely that's reasonable.

Why not just stick with that. You pay for yours, she pays for hers.

Lol at 'classical' cola. Maybe it's really expensive because it comes with a full orchestra?

No, everyone paid for her drinks.

AthWat · 09/04/2025 20:32

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 09/04/2025 20:30

That only happened because you lot weirdly didn’t agree to just pay your own bills and overcomplicated the maths of it.

Show quote history

No, it happened because she asked for the alcohol to be removed and paid separately, but not her soft drinks. They should have refused, but that's what she asked for.

BogRollBOGOF · 09/04/2025 20:32

Basketslipper · 09/04/2025 20:25

I'm not convinced by the argument that coke is the same price as alcohol either. Even expensive places coke is about £3. Beer is £6/7, wine is £7/8 and spirits with a mixer more.

In the local pub (nothing special) a 330ml bottle of coke (only non-artificial sweetenered soft drink available in there) is £3.50. If you got through two of those in the same time as a pint of cider/ beer, by volume you're paying more than you are for the alcoholic drink!

The non-alcoholic versions of ciders and beers tend to cost about the same too.

MoreDangerousThanAWomanScorned · 09/04/2025 20:32

Basketslipper · 09/04/2025 20:25

I'm not convinced by the argument that coke is the same price as alcohol either. Even expensive places coke is about £3. Beer is £6/7, wine is £7/8 and spirits with a mixer more.

If she managed to spend £10 on cokes but they spent £12.50 on alcohol I guess they didn't have three drinks each like she did. I agree that one coke is almost always going to be quite a bit cheaper than one alcoholic drink.

Whatsgoingonherethenagain · 09/04/2025 20:32

TheJollyMoose · 09/04/2025 20:01

YABU. I don’t drink and I won’t facilitate other people drinking either.

I don’t split the bill - I will pay for what I’ve eaten and drank.

Oh and no, I don’t tip either. You aren’t helping when you tip, you know. You aren’t being kind or a good citizen.

You’re part of the problem and you’re keeping wages low by tipping because employers have no incentive to up wages when mugs like you will flash the cash to make yourselves feel good.

Tipping in the UK has no impact on wages. It’s not expected and therefore doesn’t form any part of the staff income.

i tip to show gratitude rather than top up staff’s wages. I worked in the industry itself and was always delighted to get a tip, even if only a couple of pounds. It was a small token that meant I was doing my job well and was appreciated. It was a small kindness that gave me a boost.

we’re not like the US where tipping is included in wage calculations and used not to pay a liveable wage.

as for drinks, I am also teetotal and for a long time in my friend group they’d split the drinks bill so I only paid for food, as a couple of cokes was nothing compared to alcohol.

nowadays though soft drinks aren’t much less than wine or beer so we just split food and drink.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 09/04/2025 20:33

Strangecat · 09/04/2025 20:30

No one forced fed you the pudding. You are an adult and made your own decision on it!
Secondly, you guys can’t sort out a simple bill. sorry to say, but this pathetic.
I don’t drink Alcohol and would not pay for my drinking friends. We usually split the bill like Adults! pay for what I eat, drunk and give extra for service charges that are included on the bill.

That's not what this person did. She paid for what she ate, paid for 1/4 of what she drank, and didn't pay the service charge.

AthWat · 09/04/2025 20:33

BobbyBiscuits · 09/04/2025 20:31

I don't really understand. She asked that she only pays for her own food and drinks? Surely that's reasonable.

Why not just stick with that. You pay for yours, she pays for hers.

Lol at 'classical' cola. Maybe it's really expensive because it comes with a full orchestra?

No. She asked for the alcohol bill to be paid between the 3 of them, and then they all split what remained, which included her cokes.

Watermill · 09/04/2025 20:33

“We” calculated the bill to be split incorrectly. Nothing to do with the non drinker.

tillytoodles1 · 09/04/2025 20:34

Comedycook · 09/04/2025 20:03

As a non drinker, I think yabu.

I don't mind splitting evenly if others have had something like one single glass of wine and I've had soft drinks. But if other people are ordering bottle after bottle of wine, I really don't think it's fair that I should subsidize that

I agree. On holiday a few years ago, three of the four drank a couple of pints, then maybe two bottles of wine between them, while I drank water or coke. They always split the bill and wondered why I complained once or twice. They were familycand it made it a bit awkward.

Hankunamatata · 09/04/2025 20:34

I would have added her cokes up and stuck them on her share

TheWonderhorse · 09/04/2025 20:34

ThatHardyWaspAgain · 09/04/2025 20:03

Our alcohol total was £12.50 and her cokes all came to £10.12

So it’s okay for us to sub her drinks just because they’re non alcohol?

I don't mean to be that wanker but 10.12 doesn't divide by three.

Watermill · 09/04/2025 20:34

AthWat · 09/04/2025 20:33

No. She asked for the alcohol bill to be paid between the 3 of them, and then they all split what remained, which included her cokes.

Edited
Show quote history

Yes, that’s right. Which numpty did that? Completely unnecessary and not what non drinker requested.

AthWat · 09/04/2025 20:34

Watermill · 09/04/2025 20:33

“We” calculated the bill to be split incorrectly. Nothing to do with the non drinker.

Why?

Daisymae23 · 09/04/2025 20:34

MidnightPatrol · 09/04/2025 20:00

What’s a classical cola?

I think it’s a coke… but judgier. Probably has a Mumsnet account 😛

FoodieToo · 09/04/2025 20:35

I've never seen so many people misunderstand what ACTUALLY happened and then post sneery messages to the OP !! Weird .

OP you are completely right to be peeved . This CF wanted the alcohol taken off the bill yet happily made you mugs share paying for her Coke !

However , someone should have spotted this and spoken up .

pimplebum · 09/04/2025 20:35

As a moderate drinking vegetarian I often pay more than my fair share in a split situation

as a newbie to the group I would just have split it but good on her for being assertive

I hate tipping and avoid where possible

when I’ve eaten with non drinkers I’ve always offered to split bill so they don’t pay for alcohol

next time point out to her it’s only two pounds difference

AthWat · 09/04/2025 20:35

Watermill · 09/04/2025 20:34

Yes, that’s right. Which numpty did that? Completely unnecessary and not what non drinker requested.

Show quote history

Why do you say thats not what she requested when the OP says that what she requested?

"However, when it came to the bill, she said ‘’Can we please calculate it all with the alcohol you’ve had separately paid for? Because I only had classical cokes’’
So, we did as she asked. Added up everything but removed the drinks. "

Crazybaby123 · 09/04/2025 20:35

Why would you allow her to add her drinks to the food bill. Surely all drinks should have been taken off, food split as you ate the same then you pay for your drinks as per what you drank.
Maybe she thought the cokes would be a lot cheaper than what they were, but pub prices for soft drinks are stupid now

Newgirls · 09/04/2025 20:36

Ugh she’s tight. If you were colleagues going out every week then maybe use splitwise app but this was a one-off? She could have been more gracious and not said a thing.