How and why are teens allowed to roam the roads freely for hours?

[LadyGillingham]

Where is parental responsibility? My parents had to know where I was, who I was with and it was always timeboxed. Good behaviour was expected at all times. I’ve seen young teens on bikes, at all hours, hanging around the high street - shouting, littering, damaging property etc.

Parents must be held accountable and charged for neglect alongside violent crimes by children. That old man (Bhim Kohli) didn’t deserve to be murdered. Why aren’t parents being held accountable? Feral kids are a result of neglect.

It did happen back in the day. People's memories generally are flawed and full of biases, rosy retrospection being one of them:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rosy_retrospection

I know it did. It happened in any day since prehistoric times. That was my point. I find anyone’s insistence that it didn’t equal parts frustrating and hilarious.

Teens are lovely. Let them roam free….

We have a lot of asbo behaviour in the town next to me which thankfully I don't need to frequent often.
There's photo evidence of them, clear faces put on the local Facebook pages.
Why aren't the parents doing anything?
Why aren't the police doing more?
Because they're scared to. And that's the problem. Locals want to take matters into their own hands but they'll be fucked then. It's mental

If their parents are currently receiving benefits, those benefits should be terminated. My neighbours' and my cars were damaged by teenagers on bikes, wearing balaclavas and they even spray-painted graffiti on my neighbours fences.

What age OP? 13 very different to 17. Also do you actually know their ages? 18 is obviously an adult and some people just look really young. I thought someone who is actually 21 was about 16 this week.

If you know for sure they are young teens, yes I agree, otherwise not necessarily.

Young people have hung around streets and parks for at least the last 40 years, even if it wasn’t something you did personally. If anything their whereabouts are far more known now and they are easily contactable because of mobile tech.

I live in a place where this doesn't happen at all.

It is not a given that running wild is what teens' lives should be.

Spot on. The standard of parenting nowadays is abysmal.

It’s not about kids being out. It’s about what kids are doing when they are out. They haven’t been instilled with the basic set of values that civilised human beings need by their entitled selfish parents. No respect for other people or property.

Only one person’s faults: their parent(s).

Dont you live in America?
Im not so sure teens in America are perfect either, .....

Disrespectful comment
Hope the family don't read it.

The biggest problem we have in our area are from groups of men aged 40+ shouting, swearing and urinating on their way home from the pub.

Yes I do, and no, I didn't say they were perfect.

But they don't roam the streets all evening here. It just isn't done.

Having a legal curfew makes a difference, and the penalty for being out past curfew is a citation, parents called to bring minor (under 18) home, community service for the minors, and an essay. Curfew is 11pm on school nights. People are conscious of it, and you rarely see unaccompanied minors out past 10 (schools start at 8 here so most are in bed in time to get up by 6-7). It costs a significant amount of money to appeal a citation and police don't have any discretion about enforcing it. In addition, if your teen is caught with alcohol outdoors or in a private home/ party situation, they risk a citation, the suppliers of the alcohol risk a citation, and if you're on a school team you are dropped. If a teen attempts drink driving and is caught, they lose their provisional license until age 21. Kids learn to drive at 15 and have a provisional.license to age 21, which can be revoked for any infraction of the rules of the road.

All of this adds up to people making sure they know where their children are, and behaving otherwise is considered extremely neglectful and really trashy.

But they didn't actually know, they only knew what you told them.
In your case, and in mine, that was the truth, but friends of mine were out with all sorts of people when they said they were with me, or with someone else.

How would you stop bad friendships once they become teens?

Teens who hang around on the streets are for the most part those with nothing better to do and whose parents don't care enough to bother where they are! My daughter never had the time to hang around aimlessly as she either had homework or was involved in the music hobbies she loved. I always (especially as I was a single parent) knew where she was. And as for me I'd have been hung drawn and quartered if I was caught hanging round the streets!

Shame they hsve such a big problem with gun crime....

Why would the Southport killer 's parents have been charged? They tried hard to get him help. He didn't engage with their attempts to help. As far as I knew he didn't come from a care or deprived background in any way.

Some children grow up in really bad housing ( mould on the walls etc). Some children have violent and drug addicted parents. A lot of children grow up in houses without gardens or space to play. These are usually the children that will be out on the street and I don’t think we should stop them escaping from their homes.

I didn't have time to roam the streets as a teen as I was doing homework!

I think the media makes us much more aware of stuff that's going on, though. My lived experience is that there weren't kids out all the time...but how would I know if I wasnt out to see it?

I live in a nice town although there are 'good' and 'bad' parts. But the bad parts aren't truly bad. Some parents are just absolute rubbish at parenting.

I was at DS11s football training the other day and a kid from another team pushed one of DS's friends into a fence for no reason. My DS isn't perfect of course but he would NEVER do something like that. What must their parents be like!

You were doing homework full time every weekend and half term, and all the way through every school holiday?

What, so that the rest of the family cannot eat?

Then what?

A lot of it is down to luck, and often 'nature' too though.

My 17yo DS left the house at 9am this morning to go to Physics club. He will be playing hockey this afternoon where he's captain of the club.
Tonight, he'll likely read in bed, or watch a box set on Netflix.

Tomorrow morning, he'll be up early to study, then at 11am, he'll go to his Sunday job at an ice cream shop in town.

He's a good lad at school, well mannered and polite, and is in the running to be Head Boy next year.

It's pure luck that I ended up with that kind of boy. I didn't do anything to 'teach' or 'instill' those values, and I'm definitely not a better parent than another mother whose son has 'gone off the rails'.
My son was born easy, so yes, it's been luck.

Go to work like we do unless they have disabilities? There are many parents who are unemployed and they don’t care their child/ren damaging/destroying innocent people’s possessions. They are too entitled. They think they can do whatever they like while they receive tax payers’ money. I need my car which I use to take my child with special needs to school.

We have a massive issue in our town with teens having around shopping centres causing trouble and also causing trouble on places like McDonalds. There’s a rule in our town and may others that children aren’t allowed in McDonalds after 4pm without an adult. This is because there’s groups of teens causing trouble and spoiling or for the rest. My kids often want to grab tea after school before going back for an evening activity. If they get there before 4 they’re ok to go on. But after 4 they get turned away. Last week they wanted tea before the cinema. Got kicked out. Ended up in another chain of fast food that costs more. I r seen videos and photos of the kids causing bother. They don’t seem to care.

I was shopping in the supermarket last half term holiday and got caught up amongst about 20 teens trying to be removed by several security and just shouting abuse back at them. It’s intimidating even for us adults trying to get some shopping done.

Then I was in the leisure centre with my kids booking some activities whilst other kids were being told that they were no longer allowing unsupervised kids in as they had had to call the police earlier to remove a load. my kids are the same age. They want to attend booked activities without me. But it’s worrying that they’ll not be allowed in the next time they want to go.

The local library has issues. It has a small cafe. Some teens like to go on and do homework. But then the trouble causers are in running a mock causing bother. One time we went in and the doors were locked with staff letting people in when required. I did ask if my kids would be allowed on by themselves next time and they did say yes and they know who the trouble causers are so they just allow or not on a person by person basis - better than McDonalds.

I recall last year one of the local home bargains was banning kids. It was around Mother’s Day weekend when they wanted to go and buy gifts but weren’t allowed on due to the gangs jamming about outside.

These kids seem younger than back in the 90s when I was at school. It was mostly 15/16 year olds having around hassling people to buy booze and cigarettes at the corner shop. Now there’s none of those. It’s mostly younger tween and teens. Some even primary aged.

I noticed over winter there were alot of kids allowed out on the dark wandering about. Mine don’t particularly like walking about in the dark and if they were out with friends I’d usually ask them to be home before dark.

Yes when the library's had free internet, youths started hanging around in there with mates.

They had to get a security guard.

Teenagers have always wandered around unsupervised, incidents like this aren’t new. I can think of about a dozen similar stories that in the paper when I was a teenager 20 years ago, including a group of boys beating a homeless man to death where I grew up.

It’s appalling to think young people can do something like that but the ones who could are a minority. Most young people just want to enjoy a bit of freedom with their friends, violence is the last thing on their mind.