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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To move house for a drive way?

86 replies

MissHoneyPenny · 08/04/2025 20:14

DH says I’m being unreasonable to want to move house purely because we don’t have a driveway.

We have a lovely terraced house with a beautiful garden (front and back) in a lovely area but no driveway and no scope to create one either. Since having DCs (2 under 3) parking spaces or the lack of has been playing on my mind non stop. I hate not knowing if there will be a space available outside my house. I obsess over it and have been known to not go out to places because I don’t want the stress of losing my spot.

There is an unspoken agreement amongst most of our neighbours that we won’t park outside each others houses but there are always work vans, visitors, etc. who park up. To be clear, I know I do not own the space outside my house and I would never dream of being rude to anyone who did park outside my house.

If we did move to a bigger house with a driveway, we would most likely have to move to a cheaper area.

My DH says the parking situation doesn’t bother him in the slightest.

AIBU to want to move due to this?

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 08/04/2025 20:15

Can you get parked in the street easy enough?

MojoMoon · 08/04/2025 20:17

To obsess over it to the point you decide not to go out for fear of losing your parking space is
not normal.

I think you need professional help to explore what is motivating that completely disproportionate response and what it is you really fear.

MojoMoon · 08/04/2025 20:18

The fact it has only been since having children suggests this is a displacement for something that you really fear regarding the children.

If you move without exploring this, you'll just find something else - like what if someone parks across your drive.

GOODCAT · 08/04/2025 20:18

You are not unreasonable to want what you want. To persuade your husband to move there probably needs to be more than just you wanting to move.

Last time we moved house it was very much my choice. However, my husband saw it as an opportunity to live somewhere bigger and nicer. I saw it purely as a way to cut my traveling time. We both got what we wanted.

Next time we move it will be different drivers.

NewmummyJ · 08/04/2025 20:19

A driveway was a non negotiable for us. With 2 very small kids and the paraphernalia that comes with them getting in and out the car is an ordeal, so a driveway is a must. I wonder how often your husband has to do this.... might change his mind on the matter.

SunshineAndFizz · 08/04/2025 20:22

Having two little ones without a drive would be a pain - carrying them in the house one by one - putting one somewhere safe while you get the other one. Then carrying shopping/bags etc.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all.

Few houses where we live have turned their front garden into a drive - any chance you could do that?

Original poster
MissHoneyPenny · 08/04/2025 20:22

Hankunamatata · 08/04/2025 20:15

Can you get parked in the street easy enough?

It was relatively but street definitely getting busier. A neighbour further up has also bought a rather large camper van that takes up about 1.5 spaces and it’s pretty much on the street now 95% of the time.

OP posts:
TammyJones · 08/04/2025 20:22

We moved for exactly that reason but husband was more on board than me.
Got a drive and garage to boot.
DH was over the moon.
Well worth it.

steff13 · 08/04/2025 20:23

NewmummyJ · 08/04/2025 20:19

A driveway was a non negotiable for us. With 2 very small kids and the paraphernalia that comes with them getting in and out the car is an ordeal, so a driveway is a must. I wonder how often your husband has to do this.... might change his mind on the matter.

Same here. That and an attached garage.

toomuchfaff · 08/04/2025 20:24

My DH says the parking situation doesn’t bother him in the slightest.

That's not the point.

Is there an option to amend the front garden to incorporate a drive and drop the kerb?

Saves moving.

Original poster
MissHoneyPenny · 08/04/2025 20:25

NewmummyJ · 08/04/2025 20:19

A driveway was a non negotiable for us. With 2 very small kids and the paraphernalia that comes with them getting in and out the car is an ordeal, so a driveway is a must. I wonder how often your husband has to do this.... might change his mind on the matter.

This is accurate - I definitely do the most ferrying of the DC around. Good point.

OP posts:
Original poster
MissHoneyPenny · 08/04/2025 20:26

toomuchfaff · 08/04/2025 20:24

My DH says the parking situation doesn’t bother him in the slightest.

That's not the point.

Is there an option to amend the front garden to incorporate a drive and drop the kerb?

Saves moving.

Unfortunately not. Although lovely, our front garden is tiny. We wouldn’t be able to get even a smart car on it.

OP posts:
Comedycook · 08/04/2025 20:26

We used to live in a house without a driveway and sometimes had to park on a different road....was totally hit and miss as to whether we could park outside our house. Was a nightmare when the DC were little and I was bringing home shopping.

We moved as we needed a bigger place anyway but we got somewhere with a driveway and it's honestly life changing.

saveforthat · 08/04/2025 20:27

I feel your pain. My ex used to live on a street with no driveways. Fine during the day but if you got back later than about 6pm there were never any spaces. Sometimes we had to park several streets away. I think it's definitely worth moving for.

UsernameShmusername2024 · 08/04/2025 20:30

I understand how you feel - we live on a terrace which gets very busy on weekends and holidays and there are certain annual events in the town that mean on those days I would avoid moving our car if at all possible. We live in what's become a very popular seaside destination and our road is one of the key streets to access the beach. But I don't worry to the extent you do and wouldn't move solely because of it. It sounds like having very young kids is a factor - in not too long they'll be older and having to park down the street won't matter at all. You could leave what otherwise sounds like a great house and location to solve a temporary problem.

Bluecheesebonkers · 08/04/2025 20:31

I’m with him. You seem to be obsessing over it. Your area sounds lovely. Why would you want to ruin it? I think there is nothing trashier than a small house where the front garden has been paved over to make a driveway

LindorDoubleChoc · 08/04/2025 20:33

Look at the stamp duty you'd pay, then decide. I'm 62 and never lived in a house with a driveway as an adult. It's slightly irritating occasionally but in the bottom 0.1% of issues that worry me. And of course this applied when my two children were very young.

MellowPinkDeer · 08/04/2025 20:38

I’d never buy a house without a garage let alone without a driveway. I totally understand your anxieties around the parking!

CaptBirdsEar · 08/04/2025 20:44

I wouldn’t live anywhere I didn’t have my own driveway. I enjoy the convenience it offers.

Lunchwoes · 08/04/2025 20:56

It would be ridiculous to move to a worse area just to get a driveway in my opinion. I've never had a driveway or a garage, never bothered me in the slightest and I have young children as well.

Your kids will benefit a lot more from living in a nice area with good schools than they will from having a driveway.

That being said it's your right to move for whatever reason you want of course.

K8ate · 08/04/2025 21:11

When you are forced to have an electric vehicle from 2030, a driveway will be a necessity (unless you don’t want to own a car).
Once the petrol and diesel ban is in place, it won’t be long until the Government says ‘let’s ban them all, including any existing ones’

Redpeach · 08/04/2025 21:33

Plenty of people bring up kids without a car, and they'll be bigger soon anyway

Greensaysgo · 08/04/2025 21:38

UsernameShmusername2024 · 08/04/2025 20:30

I understand how you feel - we live on a terrace which gets very busy on weekends and holidays and there are certain annual events in the town that mean on those days I would avoid moving our car if at all possible. We live in what's become a very popular seaside destination and our road is one of the key streets to access the beach. But I don't worry to the extent you do and wouldn't move solely because of it. It sounds like having very young kids is a factor - in not too long they'll be older and having to park down the street won't matter at all. You could leave what otherwise sounds like a great house and location to solve a temporary problem.

This. They won't be little for long. We've never had a driveway and it is a bit annoying at times when we have to park a short walk from our house or on the next road, especially when vans park inconsiderately etc, but I'd much rather live in a nice house, desirable area etc without a driveway, then I would a less-desirable area with a driveway. Is the cheaper area less desirable?Once you're out of the toddler phase it won't matter so much, I assure you. x

Iloveacurry · 08/04/2025 21:41

Well it’s probably not bothering your DH as I bet you’re the one who’s in and out of the house with the kids, and not him.

sunshine244 · 08/04/2025 21:47

I felt like this when my kids were young, but now I'm really glad I didn't move. I absolutely love my house and the parking being a very short walk away isn't an issue any more. In fact I find it a benefit - I chat to neighbours far more because we are always passing each other.