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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To move house for a drive way?

86 replies

MissHoneyPenny · 08/04/2025 20:14

DH says I’m being unreasonable to want to move house purely because we don’t have a driveway.

We have a lovely terraced house with a beautiful garden (front and back) in a lovely area but no driveway and no scope to create one either. Since having DCs (2 under 3) parking spaces or the lack of has been playing on my mind non stop. I hate not knowing if there will be a space available outside my house. I obsess over it and have been known to not go out to places because I don’t want the stress of losing my spot.

There is an unspoken agreement amongst most of our neighbours that we won’t park outside each others houses but there are always work vans, visitors, etc. who park up. To be clear, I know I do not own the space outside my house and I would never dream of being rude to anyone who did park outside my house.

If we did move to a bigger house with a driveway, we would most likely have to move to a cheaper area.

My DH says the parking situation doesn’t bother him in the slightest.

AIBU to want to move due to this?

OP posts:
ForPearlViper · 08/04/2025 21:47

Personally I wouldn't live in a house without a drive. I lived in an amazing historic cottage without one and never again. I moved to my current house 10 years ago. There were nice houses with no drives at that time where on street was plentiful. It isn't now. I also wouldn't live on a new estate where there are small drives but little on street parking. You get a few houses with 2/3 cars and the roads are rammed. I'd happily go for a less 'desirable' area to avoid all the passive aggressive stress around parking.

parietal · 08/04/2025 21:49

that is such an odd and pointless thing to obsess over.

take the kids out to things that don't need a car
remember it is good for them to walk the block from car to home and get some exercise
enjoy the lovely house you have

CharlotteCChapel · 08/04/2025 21:57

I'd start looking to gauge whether you can actually afford one that's suitable. Only then say I think this house would be a great home and it has a drive.

BatchCookBabe · 08/04/2025 22:01

I have to say I would never consider a property without a driveway. Each to their own. I know several people who have homes without one. (All Victorian houses with postage stamp sized front garden, so no way of making a driveway.) They all seem OK with that, and park wherever they can. It wouldn't do for me.

Sometimes they have to park 3-4 minutes walk away from their house, which I would find difficult as I wouldn't want to be lugging heavy shopping 3-4 minutes up the road! I also feel my car is protected more on the driveway. The people I know who have their car on the road all the time, have had it clipped/crashed into a few times. Always hit and run too. So they are responsible for the repairs.

In 50-odd years I have never lived in an house without a drive. Even my parents house had one. DH and I lived in a flat for 3 years when we first met, (only 2 storey flats and we were upstairs,) but each flat had 2 designated parking spaces, and some flats only had one car, (or none,) so there was always a parking space. And we could see our car from the lounge window - and the kitchen window, and our 2 designated parking spaces were only about 40 feet from the doorway into the flats. It was a car park that was only for the use of the people in the 16 flats.

I would be looking for a new place if it bothers you that much @MissHoneyPenny

GoldEagle · 08/04/2025 22:05

Parking is still a problem even if you have a driveway. Driveways usually only take one car anyway, most families have two and sometimes more if you have a teenager who has passed their test.

BatchCookBabe · 08/04/2025 22:51

GoldEagle · 08/04/2025 22:05

Parking is still a problem even if you have a driveway. Driveways usually only take one car anyway, most families have two and sometimes more if you have a teenager who has passed their test.

Most houses I know have a 2 to 4 car driveway, some even more. Very few homes that I see have a one car driveway. Maybe newbuilds - post 2010, but everyone I know has a driveway that takes multiple cars. Ours takes 4. My 2 DC's homes have a 4 car drive and a 6 car one. Most homes in my street have 2 car or 4 car driveways.

GoldEagle · 09/04/2025 12:05

BatchCookBabe · 08/04/2025 22:51

Most houses I know have a 2 to 4 car driveway, some even more. Very few homes that I see have a one car driveway. Maybe newbuilds - post 2010, but everyone I know has a driveway that takes multiple cars. Ours takes 4. My 2 DC's homes have a 4 car drive and a 6 car one. Most homes in my street have 2 car or 4 car driveways.

Edited
Show quote history

It depends on how much land was available when the houses were built surely. I live on a small development of 20 houses built 40 years ago, only about 5 of them have room for more than one car. There is a new development being built in my village at the moment, a few of them are occupied. Even the detached houses don't have garages and driveways, they have parking spaces near by.

Nappyvalley15 · 09/04/2025 12:26

If everything else about the house works, I would stay put.

Moving carries so many risks - especially to a less nice area. I wouldn't do it just to get a driveway.

MathsMum3 · 09/04/2025 12:44

I find this thread really interesting. Many people will say that they have a car because it gives them the freedom to go where they want, when they want. And yet it appears that in some cases, people are concerned about using the car in case there's nowhere to park it when they get home. Others choose their home and location based on where they can park the car. It seems to me that in many ways having a car is a hinderance rather than an asset, especially since on average a car is only in use 4% of the time. We're getting more and more "carbrained" as a society.

MiddleAgedDread · 09/04/2025 13:00

I lived for 6months with on-street parking and never again!! It's bad enough for one adult, I can't imagine what it would be like with 2 kids and shopping, buggy, changing bag etc.

BarnacleBeasley · 09/04/2025 13:02

I have two small children and no driveway, and it's okay - as PPs have said, once they get very slightly bigger it doesn't really matter so much. My elder child is 3 and he loves it when we have to park round the corner (no idea why). They can get themselves in and out of the car by 2.5ish. I still have to carry all the sodding bags though. Anyway, I'm another who thinks by the time you have sold your house, bought another one, and moved, with all the upheaval and expense that involves, the problem will already be less acute.

Also OP are you home with the children, e.g. on maternity leave or a SAHM? If you are, perhaps the work vans are more of a problem because you want to be popping out and back during the day. But if you are planning to go back to work full time, you may find you don't notice them at all, as they tend to finish for the day earlyish and have left before people start getting home.

Itsjustnotthevibe · 09/04/2025 13:06

If you like the house and area I would be hesitant to move just to get a driveway. I totally get it's a complete pain when the kids are small but they will grow up soon and it will be much less of an issue. Could you make things easier by buying a pull along shopping trolley to take things from car to house?

SeaShellsSanctuary1 · 09/04/2025 13:07

MojoMoon · 08/04/2025 20:17

To obsess over it to the point you decide not to go out for fear of losing your parking space is
not normal.

I think you need professional help to explore what is motivating that completely disproportionate response and what it is you really fear.

Professional help 🤣🤣🤣

Lots of people don't do things for a variety of different reasons and weighing up whether a trip out is worth the hassle of managing young children can definitely be one of those.

Different people have different battles.

4forksache · 09/04/2025 13:12

We moved earlier than anticipated because of the no driveway. I had to double park, unload the bags or shopping and leave the car seat and baby (pre Madeline McCann) in the house whilst I drove up the street to park. We’d part exchanged (for speed) and moved by the time he was 3 months old as I couldn’t stand the worry of leaving a new born strapped in a seat in the lounge. But try carrying a car seat and baby at least 200m. He was heavy. It was awful.

Your dh won’t understand because he’s not the one with the stress.

Penguinmouse · 09/04/2025 13:13

Not leaving your house because you’re scared of losing your parking space is incredibly irrational.

yugflalska · 09/04/2025 13:23

I’m completely with you OP, if you’re using a car regularly lack of parking is really stressful. Driveway (non shared) was non negotiable for our last move.

ThirdStorm · 09/04/2025 13:27

You are not being unreasonable, when I lived without a drive it was awful, and I was always anxious like you say about if there will be somewhere to park. Therefore, as soon as I was financial able I moved to a house with a driveway and its wonderful. There is also space for a visitor too so I no longer have to worry about them. My parking anxiety extends to anywhere, if I'm travelling to a meeting or an event, I have to know options.

FlowerFairy12 · 09/04/2025 13:29

I would never buy somewhere without a driveway. My brother lives in the poshest area of his town but his place doesn’t have a driveway. We live in a different city, nice area (not the most expensive) but it has a driveway. We wouldn’t have bought the house if it didn’t have one as it makes life so much easier. We’ve also got an EV though so needed a charger.

cantthinkofausername26 · 09/04/2025 13:31

I’m in the same situation, I’ll obsess over it too. It’s a shit situation and I would never buy a house without a driveway again!

cantthinkofausername26 · 09/04/2025 13:32

Penguinmouse · 09/04/2025 13:13

Not leaving your house because you’re scared of losing your parking space is incredibly irrational.

Why is it?

Groundhogday2025 · 09/04/2025 13:33

Agree, I would and HAVE moved from somewhere without allocated parking to somewhere with a driveway.
The difference to my quality of life is immense.
Nap transfers are risky enough without having to take them half way down the street and carry all the bags, or go back for the bags and risk leaving your child unattended. And I’m talking about ONE baby let alone two.
I absolutely hated not having any guaranteed parking when DD was born. Getting out of the house is so important when you have little ones- and stressful enough half the time- without adding to it.
Your husband’s response tells me exactly who is actually doing the bulk of the childcare.

RosesAndHellebores · 09/04/2025 13:33

It depends how far away from your house you may have to park. Might residents’ parking help and could you campaign for it?

I think it depends. In London, zones 1-3, it’s an unreasonable expectation, elsewhere it’s probably something I’d insist on.

meganorks · 09/04/2025 13:33

I get what you are saying as I'm on a similar street. And it was a pain when kids were young. But that passed pretty quickly and now it's not an issue. I certainly wouldn't move to a worse area though for a driveway!
Also, on the negative side, there was quite a spate of cars being stolen round here off driveways. I guess it's easy - you know who owns what car and you can just clone the keys or steal in to steal them. Obviously doesn't happen to everyone!

Penguinmouse · 09/04/2025 13:35

cantthinkofausername26 · 09/04/2025 13:32

Why is it?

Show quote history

Because presumably OP has a car so they can drive places. If they are so scared of going anywhere for fear of losing a space that they choose not to go anywhere, why even bother having a car?

Abitofalark · 09/04/2025 13:38

Only you can decide what you can live with and what you can't. However there are a few considerations to bear in mind. One is that it is expensive to move: consider the costs, the upheaval, the time and effort involved and the change in type of location and setting that you may have to trade.

Having a drive is obviously better than not having one but it doesn't seem to solve all problems either. It is possible to move and then find that it's not how you imagined it would be. Or you will find that other things will annoy you more because you are still basically the same person who gets annoyed by whatever. And there can be plenty of annoyances with the behaviour of neighbours and vehicle owners.

Where I live people have drives but some don't use them and park in the street instead. It might be that the drives too narrow compared with the cars they now have, which are bulkier than when the houses were built thirty years ago. They have to manoeuvre to get in and leave room to open the doors or they can't get bins or shopping deliveries in or out if the car is parked there. Or they are lazy and can take off more quickly and easily from street parking. Or in some cases they want to use the drive for the children to play on, with basketball hoops installed, or cycle around on their trikes or scooters.

If you do decide to move, you may want to consider a large drive, maybe for two cars and with room to get around and between them, which in turn could mean a more expensive house and property rather than the equivalent of what you have now.