Visitors calling unannounced

[Cookie105]

Am I being unreasonable to want people to let me know before they just turn up to visit us unannounced?

I hate this. I'm not a tidy enough person for unannounced visits! Even a 15-30min warning is sufficient so I can do a very quick whizz round is appreciated! Otherwise I can't settle when I'm hosting

It depends on the situation. Local friend popping in for a coffee on her way back from the shops - fine. In laws arriving unannounced expecting lunch and afternoon hosting - no.

Ring doorbell is the answer
no one drops round to us unannounced because they know we won’t answer the door 😂

Doesn’t bother me. But then none of my local friends would be popping in for more than a cuppa and don’t do it in working hours. Family are further away so it’s in their interest to check if I’m in before setting off. Most days the house could do with a hoover and a bit of a tidy up but I don’t care, doubt they do either, they get their tea in a washed cup.

It really annoys me also.
House is always clean and tidy but I am not.
Work from home which involves being outside a lot in my scruffs.
If someone calls unannounced then its a rushed cuppa and I can't relax.

Prior arrangements means I can plan my day around visitors and at least get a quick change of clothes and enjoy catching up.
Also my one day off at home by myself is something I really need .

I have been known to ignore the door which is totally acceptable

Same.

YANBU

I just don’t answer the door though, even if it’s obvious I am in. If anyone says anything I just say “I wasn’t expecting anyone so didn’t answer” they learn not to do it again.

A peculiar English thing. Lived lots of places and only here it is a bad thing to have visitors. Housework will always be there. Friends , family will not. Unless of course , you don't like them at all.

I love my friends. I just don’t want them in my house.

What if you're having a big poo? What if you're having sex? What if you already have visitors who had the decency to call before they turned up, and now this will spoil their time with you? I think it's arrogant of people to think they can intrude on my time without a little notice.
I'm hardly ever up for unannounced visitors.

I am a very tidy person, and I wouldn’t really care if someone did call round unexpectedly, BUT, I prefer knowing so that I can have stuff in to feed/water them. I live alone and work long hours, so my fridge/pantry situation is usually bleak 🥴

I actually had family descend on me unexpectedly last weekend, which was utterly delightful, but I hadn’t been shopping and didn’t even have milk in 😧 I did have wine though, so that sufficed until the following morning when I nipped to the supermarket 🤣

I love it!

Life’a so busy that it makes you have to find a convenient time if planning it. When someone drops by it makes it happen, nothing ever falls apart and it’s a lovely distraction from whatever jobs we’d be doing.

I wish more people would do it.

Friends yes welcome anytime day or night.
Family can fuck off lucky me i dont have family.

Thanks for all the replies. Luckily my house is usually pretty tidy it’s me that doesn’t look so tidy if I’m not going anywhere that day which isn’t often because we’ve got two kids and I work from home. I was just curious after MIL saying she felt like she needed to make an appointment to see us when we see her every other Monday as it is which we think is enough…

Yes, and you can add WFH to that list. I work best from around 10am to midday ( I'm self-employed). So I didn't appreciate it when an old friend turned up with her dch and I had to abandon my work and ended up having to rustle up lunch too. I did want to see her, but much better to ring/text the day before. It's also more polite to not expect someone to just drop their plans for you.

Definitely they shouldn't expect to be let in. I get it if someone's passing and they just want to hand you something or give you a certain piece of info. But I usually wouldn't answer the door unless I was expecting someone.
It feels intrusive and I'm not properly dressed and my house is too messy etc! I definitely need a few days notice ideally.

I love my friends too, AND want them in my house...just not when there are other people there, or when I've been holding, on the phone, in a queue, where I've started off at 15th..and am now 'next'. Or similar..

I must be weird, I love visitors.

I find this attitude to visitors so weird! Firstly if someone pops in they are rarely expecting to be 'hosted' - so I'm really happy to offer tea and a biscuit. If it's not convenient I'll say.

Modern communication, you can phone, even if only ten minutes warning.

I agree @BigDahliaFan

This topic comes around as often as your chatty sister-in-law who’s just discovered lime jaffa cakes eh? Usually descends into a north v south or working v middle class hullabaloo. Shall we kick that that off? Which could I fling at you to offend you the most - you’re a skanky northerner lacking basic societal niceties or you’re a precious middle class pearl clutcher who needs to loosen her knickers 😂

I absolutely hate it. I like to feel "ready" which not only involves the house and me being reasonably tidy, but also mentally pscyhed up. That might sound dramatic but there you go. I'd far rather they gave me notice so I can relax and enjoy their visit.

I hate it too! Throws me right off. I think it’s anxiety related. And it’s not just a getting older thing either - I have always found sudden changes very difficult to deal with, although I’m better than I was since being with DH.

Perhaps it's your DS's driving instructor.

I don't think YABU. I really don't cope well with people just dropping in without warning, but it rarely happens anyway, thank goodness.

I find it hard to just switch gears and suddenly switch 'on' and have conversations with people. And when I do it, I'm often exhausted for a day or two afterwards and have to work at finding my centre again.