Has anyone ever fallen in love with a dog they didn’t want?

[Watermelonsugarcube]

Long and short of it- husband wants a dog, I don’t.

I know this is an unpopular opinion but I just don’t like dogs. Never owned one, never wanted one. I think some of them are cute to look at but don’t want them near me/touching me. I think a lot of it stems from visiting relatives as a child who owned dogs that with hindsight weren’t well cared for and drooled/were smelly/left hair everywhere etc. I wouldn’t say it’s a phobia as I’m not frightened of them, nor am I particular germ phobic in general, there’s just something I find gross about dogs and I can’t bring myself to touch them (sorry if this offends dog lovers, it’s irrational and it’s definitely a “me” problem).

But husband loves dogs and it seems cruel to deny him. We also have a toddler and I must admit it’s cute to see him interact with dogs. I can see the benefits e.g. for DH’s health (wfh full time and doesn’t get much exercise). I have no doubt that DH would take full responsibility for walks, feeding etc, I’m just not sure I want one living in my home full time. Of course if we were to get one I’d take care of it- I’d never want to see an animal harmed- but I’d want to love it and not just tolerate it. Can I be converted?

I mean you have to pick up poop mine excited pees occasionally in the house he also.slobbers water on the floor, I do love him though but they are messy. , If you can't cope with it then it's not fair on you.

I do know people who weren’t dog people and then fell in love with theirs but frankly I don’t think it’s worth the risk.

Don’t do it. Puppies are a pain in the arse and even when you love them and want them it’s a known thing to regret having got them at their worst behaviour.

Everything they do that’s annoying will be even more annoying when you didn’t want them to start with.

Also be warned of dh promising to do all the grunt work and then it suddenly becoming your job as well.

My mums friend, has a little dog her husband doesn't take much to do with it seems to work for them but it's absolutely her dog.

You're not a dog person and I can't see you overcoming this.

You are gambling with the feelings of a living creature not an inanimate object that can be sold on if you don't like it.

The chances are your husband wants a dog breed that will be absolutely disastrous for someone like you.

My DH loves dogs and I am not so keen. But when I met him he had a rescue mutt. We had been together a few months when a car in front of us tossed a puppy out the window. So we then had 2 dogs.

I looked at it like this- they are living breathing animals and I would never want them to come to harm. Dog 1 pre-dated me. Dog 2 was badly abused. I did everything I could to be a good and honest and loving owner with them. Cuddles, walks, snuggles, making them poached chicken and scrambled eggs when they were ill, chats with them while pootling around the garden together, letting their fur mop up my tears when i was sad and sobbed into their necks. I came to love them, of course. And had a good relationship with them and cried my eyes out when we had to make the hard decisions when they were very old. I miss them every day. I wasn't in love with them, but came to love them. They adored DH, and I think had a warm relationship with me, but I don't think they loved me, really.

I would not choose to have a dog again. We are looking to move to my home country (Australia) and I would worry about the trauma on a dog in going into quarantine etc, never mind the flight. DH has not yet pushed the dog idea again. I'd listen to his views of course, but I am not keen. We have cats and both adore them and if we did have a dog then I would do the best I could. But it would still be a tough ask for me.

@Watermelonsugarcube - my other half brought a dog home once, and I was absolutely furious. Couldn't stand the idea, dirty nasty things, constant attention required etc, and it didn't help that the dog in question hated me.

20 years later, I can't imagine our lives without dogs. We have three, and at one point we had five. We've had to say goodbye to four, and I can honestly say I've never cried so much as I did every single time.

They have, without a doubt, made our lives better and the sacrifices have all been worth it. I can't say whether you'd have the same experience, mind.

Lots of reasons not too but one not picked up on so far (I think) is that in your situation the only way you could buy a dog would be from a backyard breeder. Don't do that.

What’s your set up regarding work etc?

Why would the op use a backyard breeder nowhere in her posts does it even hint at that.

Where else is she going to get a dog? @Coffeeishot
She doesn't want the dog, she has a toddler and its main carer is going to be at work all day.
Who is going to sell her a dog other than a backyard breeder?

It's just another reason not to imo.

You can foster dogs too, from dog rescue places

My father's dog really got on my nerves initially. I couldn't care less if he was with me or not.
I spent two weeks alone with him one year and he just grew on me. He was very dependent, followed me around and I found myself developing a soft spot for him. I also loved bringing him on walks as he got so excited.
He is a small dog though. I can handle small dogs. Not so crazy about big ones.
I'd say go for a small one if you're going to get one.

Not with a toddler they won’t stand a chance in a rescue and frankly I’d question anyone who wants a rescue around their toddler.

OP yes I have, in a big way, like you other people's smelly drooly dogs out me off, that and having been bitten by strays several times as a wee girl, when playing out on the street or at the playground. I loved dogs but became scared of them.
Anyway DH wanted to get a dog for his teenage son who was living with us at the time.I really didn't want one but son promised to walk, feed, groom/ keep clean and all that so I gave in. We went to the shelter and there was an overweight Doberman pinscher. She was so gentle and friendly & we took her home, but I was still very scared of her, anyway after a couple of months, teenage son decided to bugger off back to his mothers house and left the dog with us.
She fell in love with my DH and they were inseparable, she thought he was her partner and I was the competition. She wasn't aggressive towards me, just not affectionate, indifferent really, I was the spare she just didn't care for. I got all of the work involved and none of the affection, it was tough for quite a while until DH got a job working away and I stayed at home while he was away so she was stuck with me.I was a bit worried about what would happen, how we would get along together without him there, because for the year she'd lived with us we only really tolerated each other, but once he was gone she just attached herself to me like Velcro and we bonded, it was brilliant. We walked for miles and she lost a lot of weight, she let me bathe her & we curled up on the sofa together which she'd never done before with me and she made feel so happy. When he came back on weekends he was still her favourite of course but now she was still my bestie too.
Then when my job started again she started getting excited when I got home watching through the bay window for me walking up the road and going nuts because I was back, she'd never done that before when DH was home, she's glance up and it was like "oh it's just you" and put her head back down again,but now she was wagging her tail and bringing me a toy!
So I started off not wanting a dog and 30 years later I never want to live without one. I was the woman saying no dog on the sofa, no dog on the bed - epic fail 😊 my dog is access all areas and I wouldn't have it any other way 😊

No but my husband fell in love with a cat he didn’t want!

This.
I was you
got a dog for dh (was a people pleaser back then)
nearly split up over it. ( for all the reasons you mentioned)
we rehomed in the end - very expensive but wasn’t the dogs fault
it was absolutely the right thing to do.
don’t be me.

You can foster dogs too, from dog rescue places

Not with a toddler you can't. And nor should you be able to.

Sorry @Watermelonsugarcube but I don't think you are coming at this the right way. Dogs aren't meant to be running companions. It's generally not good or fulfilling for them and they become a distraction for you as the runner.
Also, I don't know if you plan on having more children but dogs and young children are often not a good mix.
I saw a man out with two toddlers and a high energy off-lead dog today. He couldn't cope and not surprisingly as I don't many people could. But had I not moved my on-lead dog on quickly, things might have kicked off.
It's not fair to do that to other people or dogs.

Everyone needs to be on board. It isn't a case of your DH doing all the care etc. Because one day he may need you to walk the dog. Or he hasn't had time to clear up after the dog in the garden and you & your DC want to sit outside.

The cost alone is a very good reason that all members need to be on board. It isn't just the expense of the dog, but the insurance, vaccinations, kennelling or home sitters, training etc. Finding the right breeder (SO many crap ones about), but knowing you can commit to 8-15 years of walking in all weathers, losing some spontaneity as you can't leave the dog for hours on it's own. For this kind of commitment you both want to want a dog in my opinion.
If you have never wanted a dog, this is unlikely to change when you have a puppy - who no matter how cute - are bloody hard work.

I love dogs, but they are a huge commitment of time, energy and money so they are something you absolutely must be sure you want.

I’m a recent convert - I was you really. Neither dh nor I had had dogs but our teens waged a convincing 3 year campaign! So glad for their persistence.

my only word of caution is the toddler….not a good mix. A puppy will need a huge amount of attention. Re-homing an older dog used to children may be better for you but as previously noted above you may not “qualify”.

I love my dogs but even me, who was desperate for one, almost thought I'd made a mistake in the first few days of bringing out first puppy home!! They are haard work!!

Poo and sick on the carpet, hair everywhere - on all my clothes, sofas, carpets, the kids school uniform gets covered! Dog food stinks :(, there's the training which is hard, some dogs get reactive or pull hard on the lead etc.., there's daily walks (and some dogs need lots of walking!)

If you do get a dog, get a small one that's easy to walk and one that doesn't drop hair! If you go for a big boisterous or working dog I don't think it'll work out too well for you!

Good luck in your decision, but personally I think you shouldn't get one! I love mine a lot. But they aren't easy little balls of fluff!

You clearly don’t like them. Thats fine. You’d be a FOOL to bring one into your home. When they’re sick or whatever they can be very hard work (fancy taking a dog out to the garden 15 times in one night in the rain?). The only thing that sees you through is your love for them and your desire to see them comfortable.

I don’t even want to imagine how your resentment would manifest. Dogs are living souls and deserve to be surrounded by love. How are you even questioning this?

Im so sick of ignorant people bringing dogs into their home for the most pathetic reasons and then just abandoning them after giving them issues. Selfish is an understatement

Will you dh be looking after the dog full time, and all of it's needs, while also doing his share of care for toddler?

Of course not. What will happen if/when the marriage breaks down?

Forgot to add...mine have decided to wake up at 3am everyday for the last two weeks! Fancy that? It's like having a baby again! Only these two little cheeky monkeys don't understand a word I say to them and just want to play when I want to sleep!!