Has anyone ever fallen in love with a dog they didn’t want?

[Watermelonsugarcube]

Long and short of it- husband wants a dog, I don’t.

I know this is an unpopular opinion but I just don’t like dogs. Never owned one, never wanted one. I think some of them are cute to look at but don’t want them near me/touching me. I think a lot of it stems from visiting relatives as a child who owned dogs that with hindsight weren’t well cared for and drooled/were smelly/left hair everywhere etc. I wouldn’t say it’s a phobia as I’m not frightened of them, nor am I particular germ phobic in general, there’s just something I find gross about dogs and I can’t bring myself to touch them (sorry if this offends dog lovers, it’s irrational and it’s definitely a “me” problem).

But husband loves dogs and it seems cruel to deny him. We also have a toddler and I must admit it’s cute to see him interact with dogs. I can see the benefits e.g. for DH’s health (wfh full time and doesn’t get much exercise). I have no doubt that DH would take full responsibility for walks, feeding etc, I’m just not sure I want one living in my home full time. Of course if we were to get one I’d take care of it- I’d never want to see an animal harmed- but I’d want to love it and not just tolerate it. Can I be converted?

You don’t get a dog hoping to fall in love with it . Your husband should not get a dog when others in the family don’t want one. Dogs pick up on an awful lot and besides how can you positively interact and train the dog , would you take it to dog training . An unruly dog is even harder to love . I don’t think you should get a dog until you are really wanting one .

Dogs are the greatest gift to mankind and half the time i dont think we deserve them.
But, I dont know if that is enough to convert you, and I dont think you should have a dog in your home that you hate because they pick up on it and why would you expose a living sentient creature to spending its life being disliked?

Don’t get a dog, they’re not inanimate objects. They’re hard work and everyone needs to be 100% on board.

Easier to live without a dog than to give one up especially when you and he both know from the off you’re not keen.

I doubt it. I feel the same as you @Watermelonsugarcube . My daughter has dogs now, and to be honest much as they are lovely (as dogs go) I'm so not attached to them I forget they even exist! Likewise a friend who has dogs. I get there and only then do I think, oh bloody hell, there's a dog, isn't there?
I could not live with a dog.
Actually I just remembered I actually did live with a dog! For 3 years. Nope, never again!

If you don't like dogs honestly don't get a dog,there is a chance you will regret it hate the mess and whatnot. And really resent your husband. Dogs can live 10+ years that's a long time resenting something.

You don't need to love a dog to take care of it or train it. You don't need to love a dog to have one living in your home.
But if you go ahead, you will need to make a huge commitment to tolerate it, look after it and train it. You can never let the dog think you disapprove of it, as that can cause massive anxiety and behavioural problems.

Think very carefully about what the worst aspect of having a dog in the house is for you. Is it muddy floors? Hair all over the place? Make sure you do your research and pick a breed thats the best fit.

My dad was a non dog person. His now wife had dogs. The dogs are now his life and it's heartwarming to see. I don't know how probable this outcome is but it's possible.

Yes, I have. The difference is I love dogs in general. I think your question should be worded to reflect the fact that you actually don't!

I had a senior, smelly, uncared for dog dumped on me (sort of, it was a case of if I didn't take him he'd get put down) around xmas and it was a stressful time but I couldn't let him die. I cared for him and had him taken to the vet, walked him etc but before too long I was head over heels for him. He was the loveliest dog and I still miss him.

Another, pup I hand-reared after an irresponsible breeder who I knew through work became overwhelmed. I was meant to give her back once weaned, couldn't do it. It took time, but I bonded with her hugely and could never imagine life without her before too long.

I wanted a dog. Considered it for 3 years, before searching for a year for the right one.

I still massively regretted it at first. For a good few months.

I love him to bits now, I wouldn’t want to be without him, but don’t know if I’d do it again. It is stressful, expensive, time consuming, restrictive to have a dog.

I have a dog, and I also have toddlers. But I had the dog first. I don't think getting a dog on purpose when you already have a toddler is a good idea - toddlers don't have good impulse control, and ideally you would keep them separated unless under close supervision. But I suspect that's harder to do when your child is already a toddler and you're used to not paying such close attention as you did when they were a tiny baby. So that's just in response to the 'it's cute to see the toddler interact with dogs' reason for getting one. Especially don't if you think you might have more babies - it's okay having toddlers and babies and dogs if you really want to, but it's logistically tricky as they all have different needs.

Otherwise, I agree with PPs that you shouldn't get a dog unless everyone in the household wants one. Though I will say that I was a bit freaked out by pets when I had no experience of them (weird alien creatures wandering round the house looking at you), and after looking after a cat long-term I came round to it.

I will add that I agree, dogs 100% know when someone isn't keen on them. They'll try their best to please you and you'll end up with the dog cuddling up to youmore than anyone else as dogs will try to make you like them. If that doesn't work you'll have an anxious animal on your hands. Not a good life for them and unfair on them and others in the household.

You sound like you're willing to be converted😄

it's definitely not the same, but have you considered dog sitting for friends when they go on holiday or fostering a dog?

It might give you some idea how you'd feel? But also having your own is very different you know it's yours and you are responsible for it well-being, the buck stops with you.

obviously having a dog does change a lot of things even if your DH will do the vast majority of the walking feeding taking to the vets, et cetera, it's still limits you as a couple to wear and when you can go out for how long and holidays and things like that, you can't just pop out somewhere that's not dog friendly for the whole day and leave the dog home alone.

Plus, of course they are quite an expense these days, would you be okay with that or would you resent it?

I have a dog. My choice.
I still get really irritated when I walk in the door and the house smells of dog. When there is dog hair everywhere always.
When I have to organise a dog sitter every single time we need to be out of the house for longer than 6 hours. Dont; start me on overnight/holiday arrangements
When my lawn has holes in it.

etc.
Dogs take up space, emotioanla nd physical space in your home.
If you don't like dogs, don't get one.

and toddlers and dogs are not a great mix.

Ime one of the best bits of being a dm is watching the relationship between my ds and our ddogs.... He is a fab little boy. Very kind and thoughtful.. It shows in his ways with our ddogs and I am proud of them both.. Always been a ddog lover but a joy to have an extra family member embracing their family of humans...
Imo dc raised with pets makes for kinder adults.
The world needs those...

I didn't want a dog and had no experience of dogs at all but agreed to get a puppy because DH and DD both really wanted one, and I knew we'd be able to look after one. A couple of months later and I just love him, he's fabulous. But...the first few weeks were incredibly hard, I couldn't believe how stressful and disruptive it was. I think I had even less sleep than when DD was a new born. It's a huge commitment and if I'd really understood what I was taking on, it would have been a no. Wouldn't part with him now though.

Some people do, some people don’t. I’ve lived with a dog when I briefly lived with an ex, and it was never anything more than tiresome at best. Dogs are hard work, and if you’re at the level of not even liking touching them, having a dog really isn’t for you.

Tricky. I’m a dog lover. A bit of a dog hoarder, even.
However, I don’t think you’re being fair on yourself if you try and force this situation. Have you a nice friends dog you could borrow for a few days?

I adore dogs but everyone in the family has to want one AND I probably wouldn't get one while I had a 2 year old. I know lots of people manage toddlers and dogs/puppies but I personally wouldn't. Puppies are too hard and Rescue dogs have to be monitoired very very carefully with children (if you could even get one)
I think it would be a really bad idea for you to get a dog

I knew someone whose wife bought a dog behind his back and he hated the idea of one .. but if you ask him now the dog is HIS dog . He walks it , he feeds it , it lies in bed with him and none of the rest of the family pay attention to the dog now apart from him and he adores him now:

I think dogs have the ability to slip inside your heart . Especially if it’s cute and cuddly .

My ex didn’t ever have dogs growing up . He never wanted a dog .. never paid any attention to a dog and would always tell me NO dogs ..
til I showed him cockapoos on TikTok 😂 we ended up with a cockapoo puppy and then without me knowing he went back to the breeder and bought another one . You rarely saw him without the dogs .

I was on the fence about dogs until DH and I inherited my parents dog when they couldnt cope. This was pre kids and DH was keen to look after her (he worked shifts), and she was a small dog (Jack Russell) so it wasnt a big commitment and it meant the world to my parents that she stayed in the family.

She really made me love dogs, we got another one after she died. I no longer have one as my circumstances and it means I am no longer in a position to take on a dog. I dont regret my doggy years at all.

I think it depends on the dog. There are some very good points above but a Great Dane would be quite different to having a pug for example. What sort of dog does your DH envisage having? We recently got a dog, I’d only ever owned cats before this. She is a delight - but she does not shed, and smells if you get up close but we don’t have carpet downstairs so it is generally fine. I’ve had to make a few adjustments like covering up some furniture but I’m ok with that cause when she comes up to sit with me on the sofa it’s lovely! Of the household I was the person who least wanted the dog, but I’ve got used to her now and love having her. And for reasons unknown I am her favourite

From what you’ve said though it doesn’t sound like it is for you? I agree with suggestions to borrow one for a bit - as close to what your DH would ideally like as possible. You both need to be on board with the decision.

I absolutely love dogs (we have two) but I would say don't do it.

What if, for any reason, your husband can't walk the dog every day? Would you be happy to do it? Me and DH adore our dogs equally but they are hard work, high maintenance, expensive and in the event that one of us has other stuff on, the other has to take over with walks, feeding, vet trips etc which I don't think I would be happy about if I had been forced into getting them...

I mean to be honest, if you can't even stand to touch a dog now, I don't think it's going to work out particularly well when you have one living in your house 24/7.

Also to point out the obvious, your house will get covered in dog hair (especially when they are moulting), your child will probably be covered in dog hair at various points, the dogs will try to lick your child's face regularly (and vice versa) and in bad weather, you will have a stinking, wet dog in your house most days.

You need to be on board with ALL of that before even considering bringing a dog into your home.

Thank you for all your responses. I think those who are saying it’d be unfair on the dog are right- I’d try and fake it as much as poss but I know dogs are smart and would probably pick up on the fact it wasn’t loved which would just be so sad.

The thing is I want to like dogs. I can appreciate (from a distance!) how great they are and quite like the idea of taking it on walks. I’m a runner and also like the idea of having a running companion if the dog is up to it. It’s just the “dirty” thing, I’m not sure it I can get past it.

I think the suggestion of borrowing a dog for a short period is a good one.

In your position, no I wouldn't. Huge commitment and you don't even like dogs, don't want to touch them. That's a really big hurdle. Some people have been able to overcome their dislike of an animal and come to enjoy and love the pet, but there are more people that don't. If you feel resentment for the mess, the care, the time, the expense, the stress, you'll be resenting it a LONG time. Plus there is the fact that your child is very young, even if I was on board I'd want to wait a couple of years.

There was a thread on here about the awful things posters' pets got up to. The grossness of the things that dogs will eat and/or roll in really turned my stomach. And I have a cat, and they're far from angels too...

Dogs can be hard work, a lot of it dirty and messy so make sure your DH knows exactly what is involved.
It's not just walking and feeding. Obviously cleaning up their poo, bathing especially if they've rolled in fox poo 🤮 but also training, caring for the dog when they have any operations or procedures, any illnesses or allergies, food problems that result in vomiting, not to mention as they age their needs can be quite significant.