Everything is wrong

[SansaStark90]

I’m sat ill on penicillin and feeling terrible and all I can think round the house is everything is wrong. Never mind outside the home. I am four months pp and wear three outfits on rotation and have three bras that I wear. Three! As they are my only comfy clothes.

4 months pp is nothing sweetheart - life is supposed to chaos at this point please don’t beat yourself up.

Can you afford a few bits from Primark / Vinted that fit? I remember how much of a difference it made to have 3 pairs of comfy stretchy jeans and a couple of nice tops.

It will all get straight in the end I promise you - it takes time.

I am lucky that I can afford to buy new it’s just wearing what’s comfy. But you should rotate more than three bras. I’m ashamed as to the size of me so don’t want to be buying more clothes as it’s like admitting I am this size

if it helps… I’ve only ever rotated 3 bras!
2 black (one in the wash, one being worn) and one nude. I’ve got more but they’re uncomfortable. I’m 7 years pp 🤣
Go easy on yourself, wear the comfy clothes

Same😂 2 black 1 white and I'm 2.5 years pp. At 4 months pp I'm pretty sure I rarely wore a bra🤭 relax OP it's still very early days. Congratulations btw

You had a baby 4 months ago!! Your current size is temporary. And you deserve clothes that are comfy and that fit and flatter you for the next few months whilst things settle - please buy some tomorrow.

I rotate 2 black bralettes and a white one occasionally - I’m not sure how many you think you’re supposed to have?! One on and one in the wash?

I have 2 bras so you are one up on me op!! Sometimes l wear my running bra to work!

Please get some probiotics once you’re feeling better, especially ones with bifidobacteria in them. I felt so rubbish after birth and also on antibiotics. I was low on everything, vitamin D, ferritin, b vitamins and then the antibiotics I was wiped out.

Probiotics help your mood too I’ve found and if you’re breast feeding you really want to replenish your bifidobacteria so you can pass on as much good bacteria to your baby as possible. These first three years are so important for setting up their immune system for life.

Jarrow do some good multistrain ones.

And pls don’t worry about bras. They should all be burnt as far as I’m concerned!

i only wear them in the summer these days.

Give yourself lots of nourishing foods if you can and multivitamins etc.

I think there's a strange psychological thing where if you accept you'll be this size for a few months (very normal pp) and buy a couple of nice cheerful tops or outfits that make you feel good, then it becomes easier to lose weight. It's about treating your body well no matter what size.

Also, my GP said don't worry about trying lose weight now, once your baby starts moving onto solid food the weight will naturally fall off due to your hormone shift, and that was true for me.

As the above poster said, you deserve clothes that make you feel good! Go shopping

Also honestly first three months of baby’s life is shit. No one tells you this. 4-6 months improves every so slightly. But not much. First year was crap as far I’m concerned. Things began to improve after then bit by bit.

Head down and soldier on my love! It won’t be long before things are better. Honestly. Felt like my life was over but a new one was just beginning ❤️ adore my babies who are teens now.

You don’t know how much telling me that. You and others have made me realise I’m just feeling like I’m doing the worst job and living like a pig when you’ve made me realise I’m not. I’ve sat and cried all day today

I’m pregnant and have precisely 0 bras that properly fit me right now. The pregnancy one is actually too tight and hurts, a pre pregnancy one gave me a rash yesterday from rubbing, another is smaller and wired so not ideal. Even non pregnant I only ever have a few bras at one time that fit, I’m pretty sure that’s normal or at least not abnormal!

Please be kind to yourself, your body has done an amazing thing growing and birthing a baby - I know what it feels like is not like you but it’s such an accomplishment and what it looks like (in ideal world) should be irrelevant right now. You’re doing amazing, be kind to yourself

Also have 2 pairs of trousers/leggings I can wear and a few t shirts! Sometimes that’s just how it is - try and focus on the important stuff x

Me too - I often only have two!

But that’s not the point, I know. Those are your normal standards and you’re upset that you can’t keep them up as before. Sorry you feel this way. It’s a tough time 4months pp….

Part of what I found hard about motherhood was not being able to do everything as “perfectly” as I could before. It’s been a long road to recognising that I would have to let some things slide to fit it all in, and it’s your job to decide what is less crucial and can be let go. And that’s different for everyone. But it’s the only way not to burn out. I guess that’s why people are telling you about managing on fewer bras - just to let you know what is possible…

Enjoy your lovely baby and good luck - a lot of us have been there .

"One on, one in the drawer, one in the wash" was a fairly standard approach to clothing in the days before fast fashion meant people bought far more clothes than they needed. There is absolutely nothing wrong with waiting until your size has settled down before buying new clothes.

Another one with 3 bras here! 😂

It's getting a bit warmer - perhaps get a couple of dresses? I always feel a bit more dressed up in a dress, and they won't be squeezing you round the middle like jeans etc.

Op i was still very much in survival mode 4 months PP, literally just getting through the days was a victory. 3 bras is enough, if you want more thought as a PP said whatever size you are you deserve to be comfy! Punishing yourself, talking about yourself negatively won't achieve anything except make you feel worse, but appreciate it's a tough cycle to break.

You really don’t have to beat yourself up because you’ve only got 3 bras. If I’m honest I currently only have 1 that I can wear. I have a 4 year old and a 1 year old, I’m not back to my pre pregnancy weight yet, I’m back at work and I just don’t have the time or the energy to focus on myself at the moment. Motherhood is hard, we are all struggling and no one will care if you are wearing the same bra or t shirt again, they probably wouldn’t even notice. Be kind to yourself.

I’ve got 1 perfect bra and 2 crap ones. The perfect bra is very regularly in use!! Sending hugs. 4 months is no time at all

I’ve a three year old and only have two bras!!

Of course you’re still ‘this size’ - we all are when we’ve just grown and pushed out a whole new human being! It takes a while to get used to the exhaustion and the chaos, let alone to start thinking about losing weight. Your body needs a bit extra at this time, especially if you’re breastfeeding. Four months pp is no time at all!

Wear your comfy bras and be kind to yourself. If a friend you loved was in your situation, would you say the same critical and negative things you’re saying to yourself? Of course you wouldn’t! Cut yourself some slack and allow yourself the same kindness and generosity you’d show anyone else.

Rest and enjoy your precious baby. This special time will be gone in a heartbeat, and you’ve got the rest of your life to buy more bras 💐

Hun you JUST had a baby! I lived in one bra and some leggings with a bleach stain on them...
Just remembering to do up the tit flaps on my feeding bra was enough self care!

I don't understand what's wrong with 3 bras. ..

Top execs (and aspiring ones) limit their clothing to avoid expending mental effort on deciding what to wear. Postpartum sounds like a very sensible time to adopt that practice. But yes as the weather is getting warmer you might want something different to wear.

I agree 4 months pp feels like a long time but is nothing- not even half the time it took you to grow that baby!!

Be nicer to yourself. You wouldn't speak to a friend that way.

What about a daughters of India dress, bloody gorgeous, warty and floaty. Boots and a cardy if cold :) sorted

you can wear it whatever size you are

get something new, you deserve it

Wafty not warty :)

wafty sounds fab - just watch you don’t trip on it, happened to me with long skirt with baby ….!