Inheritence and house sale

[Lanzarotelady]

Interested in others opinions here - what's fair?

Mum dies leaves house worth 160,000 and £60,000 in bank

3 adult children

1 living at home - never had a mortgage - has had a nomadic life style
2 living in a house, paid for - single
3 living in a house -paid for- married with children

1 know he needs to get a mortgage, but with no deposit and no real credit history is struggling to get one

He has proposed to use the £60,000 in the bank as a deposit, smaller mortgage etc, then when the house is sold, the other 2 get their share of the house, their share of the money in the bank, ie £80,000 each and he gets what is left.

I don't know if this is fair, open to abuse, favouring one above the other

What do you all think

I have said he needs to be realistic in what he can afford ie less than £100,000
£50,000 deposit and the rest mortgage, but he needs a mortgage in principle letter as without this no one can make any decisions

you do realise that getting a deed of variation will cost money which will come out of the estate?

I think the splitting of assets is the least of your worries. He has been allowed to live there rent free with his siblings’ permission so I don’t think he will be going anywhere, because of the mortgage issues you predict. I can see a great deal of money being spent on solicitors sorting this out.

Decisions can be made: he can rent like millions of other people do. And why would he need benefits? He’ll have around 70k or so after costs and the estate is distributed! Plus you said he works, albeit not in a highly paid permanent role.

there’s a chance he may be able to get a mortgage if his LTV is favourable, and it’s a short term as he’s already 58. If not, he rents. It’s no one else’s problem. His choice to go through life freeloading instead of paying for his own housing up to this point. He’s getting a taste of real life now. No one is being unfair or unkind: quite the opposite - he’s the one who’s proposed an action which is unfair to his siblings.

It looks like I’m in the minority but if this was my brother id gladly let him take the cash for a deposit to buy a property so he wasn’t in a chain etc (which would make his life much easier). We are not super close but I trust him and if it didn’t make any difference to me (ie I had no big cash flow issues) then I’d be fine with it.

If you read the thread though, it’s fairly clear it’s not a done deal that he’ll get a mortgage offer. 58 years old, no history of a good credit score, and a nomadic life style suggests work is intermittent.

Honestly I don’t even know why this sort of thing becomes an issue to worry over. The will is written, the executors need to follow the directions of it. It’s not a choice, it’s a requirement. Unless they all agree to go down the route of deed of variation and rack up extra costs. I think seeing as all 3 siblings are executors which the OP has now confirmed, the nomadic brother is already on dodgy territory by leaning on the others to not follow the will by actions which will benefit him. Quite aside from anything else, that 60k will be earning interest at the moment which benefits all 3 siblings equally. If it’s given to one sibling it straight away disadvantages the others. That’s aside from all the other possibilities mentioned…. The house needing major work for a sale and suddenly there’s no money in the estate to pay for it; or the house not selling at the expected price. splitting the money equally as per the terms of the will is the only certain way of treating all 3 siblings equitably.

This happened to a friend of mine although only one sibling , so 2 children . Her sister lived with their mum until her death , & it took 5 years for her to get her ‘ half ‘ of the house due to various delaying tactics from her .
She could have forced the sale through court but chose not to for family relation reasons more than anything , but I know there’s deep resentment on my friends part that the wait was so long

I think once someone has done something like this over a will "family relations" will never be the same again.

We did exactly that while waiting for probate and then the house sale to complete without any issue. DH and I lived in the family home until completion of sale; vacated on the morning and took the keys to the estate agent’s so that completion at midday happened with vacant possession.

Who gets the equity on the day of sale? Is it nomad? If so, will he transfer the 2/3 to siblings? Is he honest? Did you say the account is in every siblings’ name? If so, why can’t they just take a 3rd each and close the account?

because that isn't what the nomad wants.

I think it’s a little different if you’re a married couple with an onward purchase than a tenant with nowhere to go. My buyer’s solicitors insisted on a tenancy agreement so that my family member would be given notice 4 weeks before exchange and completion.

Sounds like siblings have been conditioned to pamper to nomad like the parents. Though op says he’s a hard worker just not very organised. It dose make me wonder if nomad might not be a carefree no commitment person, rather not had the tools or opportunities he needs to have a settled life.

Any way I think OPs husband and siblings need to start looking at this practically, if mother didn’t want nomad homeless then maybe they need to help make this possible, flat benefits (though with money in the bank benefits are unlikely) etc.. but 100% get the ball rolling on settling the estate and go from there.

Maybe Nomad may like a life in a static caravan on a site where he can do temporary work and odd jobs to keep him comfortable. I have friends who flit between a static caravan in the UK and a caravan on in Spain, they love the lifestyle. Husband works on the UK site peak season and then they go off to Spain in the off season.

With Nonads idea, couldn't he burn through the £60k and then demand a third share of the house? (Unless you do a deed of variation).

Or spend the £60k and refuse to move out.

He's the type that needs his money at the end of the deal, not the start.

No, he couldn't demand more than his fair share. The law on that point is quite clear. I am not a lawyer, but I would say the bigger risk is if he refused to move out, or dragged his feet, making it harder to sell the house.

This from the date probate awarded. Until that date no but that before that date in all property owned by all 3 siblings & he has to pay his share - there are funeral fees, gravestone, executor's expenses etc etc.

Sounds so much like m XH who decided that he was done with working at the age of 55 & couldn't understand why his siblings & elderly mother couldn't/wouldn't give him his 'inheritance' before she died (which was 2 weeks ago). I kept reminding him wasn't his money - was his mothers money to leave whoever - to the Cats home if she chose & leave him & siblings with nothing. I so wish that she had - left it to cat's home I mean.

I think it’s round about now that Nomad sibling will suggest to the other two that they give him a private mortgage out of their share of their inheritance. So he will put £60k of his inheritance into a flat (not everything as he will need furniture plus a rainy day fund) and can each other sibling lend him £20k as it’s easier than dealing with the bank. This is essentially what he is doing by stealth by wanting to take the £60k cash for his deposit when £20k belongs to each of his siblings.

You should start talking to your DH about what the £70k could do for your family. (But don’t say you want a fancy holiday or new car!) Pay off your mortgage? Pay for your kid’s uni fees so they don’t start their careers in debt? Help your kids get on the housing ladder?

Every pound Nomad sibling takes from his mum’s estate at the expense of your sibling is really a pound which could help your kids have a better life. That might help your DH get tougher with his sibling.

While I agree that selling the house and splitting equally is the answer you don’t really have any control or say in this. You’ve rod your DH your view/advice so leave it to them to decide what they want to do. I don’t think this skills bring conflict and issues into your marriage.

Yes the mother said it should be split equally, the mother also told then she doesn’t want DS1 to be made homeless so I can see why they are not pushing for your approach.

Leave it alone and move on, you have no control or input here aside fighting with your DH.

Really? We’re now talking about divorce over inheritance from her MIL lol.

OP has pushed this issue enough, she needs to step away and leave them to it, she is coming across as grabby at this point tbh.

Yes the fair approach is to sell the house and split the proceeds and cash equally but the siblings also recognize that their mother doesn’t want DS1 to be made homeless so it’s their prerogative to consider other options.

OP has given her view but she has no say or control over this, it’s not her mother who died, she isn’t named in the will or an executor or so she should stop bringing conflict into her marriage over this to the extent we’re now talking about divorce.

This. It doesn't matter anyone's circumstances. Each child gets exactly the same. My brother did probate for us and split everything equally, almost down to the last pound. All of us in different financial situations. None of us have ever queried it, never argued about money and are still on good terms.

@Masmavi100% this.

It’s not really relevant whether one beneficiary may appear to be more ‘in need’ at a particular moment in time. As @Psychoticbreakpoints out, a beneficiary who appears to be ‘better off’ may have got there through lots of sacrifices and hard work, while other beneficiaries may have made different life choices. And people’s financial situations can turn quickly anyway….they can be made redundant, get sick…. The distribution of the estate happens at one snapshot in time, it’s ridiculous to make assumptions that one beneficiary is more deserving over others.

the nomad brother has made life choices and it sounds likes they’ve had a great deal of financial advantage over the other siblings already. Living rent free in the mother’s house until age 58! No pressure of paying rent on time or servicing a mortgage! How many adults get to almost 60 years old without paying their way? If he’s in any way playing the ‘poor me’ card then he’s extremely manipulative.

of course the mother wouldn’t want to see any child homeless, but she clearly had the good sense to treat her children fairly by stipulating an equal division in the will. I expect she also used her common sense to realise he won’t be homeless anyway. He can find a short term room to rent and then when he’s got his fair share of the estate at the correct time when all costs are settled, the house is sold and distributions made, he can either aim for a mortgage or get a decent private rental. He’ll have about £70,000 or so, plus income from his job: he’s hardly going to be on the streets.

The house may take a year to sell (my sister's did) and in that time running expenses and repairs will need to be paid and reclaimed from the estate. Does Nomad need to buy a property - at 58 he could rent without the worry of paying off a mortgage or having to work into his 70s? He could live off his inheritance for years (sensibly without spunking it) and then look into pension credit etc - will he have a state pension?

His mum didn't want him to be homeless and that should be the family's first concern, her money/her wishes. I think it would be a mistake to give him a cash sum now as there'd be no incentive for him to move on and I'd be surprised if a solicitor would go for it tbh - you do need a solicitor to deal with it so Nomad accepts it's a legal process that needs to be followed: liquidate assets, pay legal expenses and outstanding bills and then divide what's left by 3.

However.....it is down to the siblings to sort out.

Leave them to it. His house buying plans are not your problem. However, having dealt with probate twice myself, my advice is to let a solicitor do their job and sort out the legals. I would not pay out anything until probate is completed, you don't know what expenses may need to come out by the time the house is sold and it's time to divide the remaining assets. The solicitor will also advise on how to deal with the fact that he's currently living in the house and needs to leave.

Another conversation last night, sibling 2 is actively preventing sibling 1 from clearing the house, refusing to let him get rid of her bike when she was 8!

Sibling 1 want to clear the house to make it more saleable and then he can move on. I do actually think he has grown up a lot and now wants to settle down in a place of his own, he has actually arranged a house viewing and been to see how he can get a mortgage and what he can do to be a good candidate

I am certainly not going to divorce my husband

With regards to our children, we have one who has moved out and is settled and one doing a levels - money already set aside for him

We are mortgage free and comfortable

I am not pushing this

I am genuinely interested in other opinions