A casual friend has just told me she's standing as a Reform candidate

[Mumblechum0]

And I have no clue how to respond.

I've always liked her, we're not close, ie don't do anything just the two of us, but are often in the same group at parties, book group, joint birthday bashes etc.

She's very posh, professional job, husband's a head fund manager (he walks round in a tweed cap and goes shooting on his family estate etc etc...just setting the scene, she's well educated etc.)

Anyway, she messaged me yesterday to say that she wanted me to know in advance that she's standing as a Reform candidate in our local elections; she didn't ask for my support, but didn't want me to just see her face on a leaflet through the door.

I'm married to a black man, have a mixed race son.

I haven't responded yet, as I don't know whether it's best to just ignore, or to say thanks for letting me know, or actually to say I'm quite horrified (which is my actual reaction).

Any ideas?

People’s politics are based in their values and understanding of world. I want the people I socialise with to have similar values to me. It’s a choice to vote (let alone run) for a right-wing party.

If she’s a casual friend I would phase her out, if she was a closer friend I would ask her why Reform (not argue, just ask her to explain).

According to opinion polls, more than 25% of the electorate would vote for Reform if there was a general election today. They are ahead of both Labour and the Conservatives in many polls.

That's a lot of people to dismiss as racist and not worthy of your friendship.

I have family and friends who don't share my political views. It doesn't bother me in the slightest who they vote for and we manage to stay friends.

I am one of seven siblings and between us we voted for the Conservatives (2, including me), Lib Dems (2), Reform (2) and Labour (1) with no falling out, or anyone claiming to be morally superior.

Never
It's the only logical choice

Why would you thumbs up it? Surely that would be interpreted as support?

I wouldn't interpret it as support, especially if blocked afterwards.

Its just an acknowledgement it has been seen.

25% of the UK being both stupid and racist seems to me to be an underestimate if anything.

Yep. About a quarter voted Brexit!

@PandoraSox , one is best not to assume any type of intelligence or knowledge from many on Mumsnet.

@Yorkshirelass04 , because you say so it must be true. 🙄

I mean, the block would carry a message, but I would think a thumbs up means "I've seen that and I am fine with it". Thats the issue with emojis reallly.

Well yes. Especially those who spout Reform inspired conspiracy crap.

I am a Reform supporter and for reasons I don’t need to go in to I most definitely am not racist.

It wouldn’t affect my friendship. I feel I’m mature and intelligent enough to be able to rub along people with opposing politics to my own, provided they weren’t extreme activists themselves. If it bothered me, I’d ask them if we can avoid talking about politics and not try and get me to sign up to the same party.
I imagine there’ll be many people voting Reform to send a message to Labour and Tories. I don’t for one second think all people who have an issue with immigration are racists.

This.

What does being married to a black man and having a mixed race son have to do with it?

@PandoraSox , oh dear the ability to listen to and try to understand those who don’t agree with us does require certain skills and intelligence along with a level of maturity. Hurling insults on the other hand, not so much.

All political parties have members who are racist. It’s not unique to Reform UK. There are members of the Labour Party who have expressed racists views in the last few years.

Um, what insults have I hurled? None.

I was agreeing with what you said! Here is a reminder:

Unless you are in Scotland where the Green party
tried to deny women who have been raped the right to a female medical examiner and also tried to remove funding from a Women's Domestic Violence Refuge because it won't accept men as clients or employees , as a male presence in the refugee has been found to be traumatising for their clients.

I think, if it was me, I’d start to distance myself from this friend. You’ve suddenly been made to see the reality of her views and her family’s views and approach to life. She isn’t just a friend with differing political opinions to you, she’s actually investing her time and energy into being a Reform candidate and therefore promoting Reform’s values and disingenuous, divisive and dangerous (IMO, of course) take on the world. Her fundamental values are not your values. If she was my casual friend (and there’s probably a reason that you’ve never become closer friends) I think I’d have to tell her that I was very disappointed to hear that she’s chosen to stand for Reform!

I would just say 'Thank you for letting me know'. If it's a matter of conscience to you, you could add 'I'm afraid I won't be voting for you, as I am strongly opposed to the Reform party's views.'

Wtf is you being married to a black man got to do with anything?

unless of course he arrived on a dingy illegally?

or are you one of those thoroughly ignorant people who think reform voters are all racist and hate black people?

Is this for local elections ? Has she researched your local demographics and decided that Reform are best placed to get her elected in your area ?

OP, did she contact you personally, or was it a message to all her friends/acquaintances?

If it was a personal message just to you, I suspect it's because she thinks of you as her 'friend with the black husband' and thinks you would be unimpressed that's she a Reform candidate, so doesn't want you to hear in front of other friends, to avoid any 'unpleasantness' of being called out for standing for a populist far right party.

I think you should reply and tell her you don't agree with the right wing populism of Reform, you think Brexit was a disaster and that you're very surprised that she supports Farage.

I don't understand people who claim not to care about their friends politics, a persons politics are a distalation of how they view other people and the world. I would never be friends with someone who was a Trump supporter, I would see them as totally lacking in compassion, greedy and anti-choice.

I'd ignore it and give her a wide berth at events where she'll be in attendance.