Weird stuff about losing weight AIBU to think people are treating me differently?

[BeckieG]

Hi,
I’ve just lost a chunk of weight and am finding all sorts of weird things. My feet have shrunk! Feet! Didn’t expect to go down a shoe size.
my rings are all super loose, even my glasses feel too big for my head.
Nobody at work has said a thing, which I think is probably people trying to be respectful, but when im out and about I’m sure people are treating me different, although it could be in my head?
Has anyone else notices these things?

And I think more people are chatting to me in the school run. But maybe I look more approachable, maybe more confident?

You're less visible when you're fat. (I'm currently in a fat phase.)

The last time I lost weight, the only person at work to comment was an older woman who was also battling with her weight: "Looking good, Slim!"

I then visited relatives abroad. No one said anything at first...I just got funny looks - that is, until I visited a redoubtable elderly gentleman who'd survived the Nazis, a labour camp and being branded a collaborator. (He had to go to court to clear himself.)

"You've lost a lot of weight! How did you do it? Was it a special diet?"

The only other person to comment was a cousin I'd known for years.

Interesting. I wonder if less people comment these days through fear of offending . It does feel easier to say the wrong thing these days.

Why do you think fat people are less visible? Subconscious (or not) judgement of worth?

I have lost a lot of weight recently. You can really see it around my face and shoulders. Noticed the same regarding my shoe size.

One person in work commented on it and that was only when I said that I bought a dress in the January Sales and need to try it on for a wedding next month. She commented that I had lost weight since then so I should not be worried about it.

Other than that a elderly relative has commented a couple of times and is concerned that I don't eat. She regularly comments that I should not lose anymore.

I do notice that I am treated differently by some people in public. Things like queue in a bar and being served first, people talking to you more. Better service in some shops. However this could all be put down to me changing jobs and gaining huge self confidence so I am not as meek anymore.

Sometimes it's not noticeable because people don't really look, I remember one day looking at my colleague who was wearing a different outfit from usual & I thought she looked slimmer/smaller. I asked if she had lost weight & she had lost 2 stone, I just didn't see it before.

I suspect that’s why. I don’t comment on people’s weight, whether it’s weight gain or weight loss.

It’s a strange contradiction to me - it’s not ok to comment on weight gain but fine to comment on weight loss? Weight is either on the table or off in my eyes.

It’s also possible there’s a chance people assume you’ve done it with weight loss injections which makes it less interesting imo. And also, lots of people are using them to lose weight, so weight loss isn’t as rare these days so not really worth noting.

Enjoy your journey! It doesn’t really matter if people notice or not (and may make it easier if you do gain some of it back)

I'd say so.

I go up and down in size. Currently very heavy but fitter than I was last time I was this weight and it's really interesting how you do get treated differently.

You're not wrong.

I think I have to lose 2 stone before anyone notices and I lose so slowly that it's not that much of a change.

That's so funny you say that about your feet.
I've lost 4 stone and wore a pair of vans the other day & they are so loose !
I thought it was my imagination !

Also my wedding & engagement rings need sized down (after being sized up when we got married).

People comment less through not wanting to offend in the moment but also because it feels shit if you put it back on (from experience) - it's like an unsaid vibe that you look worse than when you were slimmer.

There is a woman on Instagram - halfofCarla who has lost a load of weight and she talks about some of the weird effects of weight loss including changing shoe size.

Just on this ...a common misconception is that there's no effort involved with medication. It doesn't dissolve your fat, it just takes the edge off your hunger. You still have to eat less and make good choices or it won't work. I don't know why it's "less interesting" as a choice?

I know what it does, it’s widely known through research and the media. It’s an appetite suppressant. It’s easy not to eat when you’re not hungry. My sister is taking it and she’s found it by far the easiest way to lose weight.

Of course it’s easy, otherwise people who have otherwise struggled to lose weight wouldn’t lose weight. The fact it’s working shows it’s easier than dieting and changing lifestyles without an appetite suppressant.

It’s less interesting because of the lack of real change to diet and lifestyle. Most people on it are eating the same types of food, just less frequently as they’re not as hungry. Whereas losing weight through lifestyle change often involves significant (and difficult) changes which are more interesting to discuss. New recipes. New hobbies and exercise etc.

I find people tend not to comment on weight loss unless its a huge amount and they havent seen you for a while. Ive had a few people not recognize me after losing over 100Ibs.
The shoe thing is lovely though! I had some Converse that I can finally wear again which Im thrilled about.

One funny thing Ive noticed is that I keep pulling myself into doors! You know those heavy glass shop doors? I keep miscalculating and thinking my body weight will help me pull the door open and just wind up yanking myself into the door instead!!😅

So much judgement and so many assumptions!

Why? I have nothing against using the injections - I would too if I were struggling with my weight.

But it’s not hard and to claim it is, is disingenuous.

I lost significant weight when I had hyperemesis during pregnancy. It wasn’t pleasant (to say the least) but weight loss was easy. I couldn’t eat when I was constantly nauseous. I also lost a few pounds recently when I came down with the flu. Again, easy weight loss.

Taking an appetite suppressant makes losing weight easy. The hard part is keeping it off when you stop taking the drugs.

It’s not judgement, it’s opinion which is the whole point of AIBU. If you don’t like hearing peoples opinion, this isn’t the right place to browse.

I lost almost 8st and I’ve noticed people actually want to talk to me now. Even people in shops etc where as before I was kind of overlooked. I also get strangers in lines commenting on my nice shoes or my bag where as I never got this before so maybe I carry myself better or look more confident?

As For weird consequences, I’m not longer a size 6W shoe I’m a regular 5. I have hollow armpits! (Any tips on how to shave these would be great) and even ‘down there’ feels a bit different, can you lose weight ‘down there?’ I dunno.

I don’t really care about your opinions and am happy to keep browsing.

I just had such a gut reaction to your condescending and superior post that I felt the need to reply!

Fair enough, I’m sorry you interpreted it that way. You don’t need to be ashamed of taking them, and people having a view of them isn’t a direct attack on you.

I don’t comment as 1) it’s none of my business 2) it may be due to illness 3) they might think I’m being rude about their previous weight. I yo-yo around and hate people commenting when I’ve lost weight, feels really intrusive.

I have lost a significant amount of weight but haven’t noticed any difference in how anyone treats me at all.

My feet are smaller though!

I get more attention when I'm slimmer, but that is because I am much more confident. When I'm at my fattest I do anything to avoid being perceived.

Yes it's internalised societal fatphobia but it's the truth!

I’m not ashamed of taking them at all - why on Earth would I be?

it says a lot that you assume that everyone finds it easy, that nobody is changing their diet and lifestyle in conjunction with the injections, and that you think we all feel shame about it…

I can only speak to my own experience and the experience of those I discuss this in detail with, but everyone I know who is on WLIs and successfully losing weight has moved to a low carb, high protein, high fibre diet, is tracking their calories and ensuring that they eat to a deficit, and has added in cardio and strength training exercises. I am at the gym every day, either swimming, doing C25K or at a class doing circuits with weights.

My body fat has reduced, my muscle mass has increased, my resting heart rate has decreased.

I agree that the injections make it easier, but they do not make it easy.