Owls

[TwitTwooTwat]

I have owl rage, and I need to let it all owl-t. AIBU to dislike owls and their twit-twoo hooting fuckery?

I know I might ruffle some feathers with this opinion, but a owl has moved nearby and every night I can hear it making less than whootiful night noises. It’s being antisoci-owl. Probably trying to attract a mate. The only time we don’t hear it, is when it rains as it is, ahem, too-wet-to-woo.

Local FB page weirdos say they love hearing it, but how I can I get the feathery fuckwit to go Hoo-dini without it turning into a Hoot-dunnit? I don’t want someone to talon me. Anyone know any owlchemy?

I saw a fabulous massive barn owl the other day. I was driving over the Peak district in a remote area in the dark and it flapped up right in front of my car and nearly scared the absolute shit out of me, like a huge bloody ghost right in front of me. It swooped out of the way just in time, but thank goodness nobody was around especially behind me because I swerved and slammed on the brakes.

We relined the chimney with a flexible metal pipe. B’stard owl sits on it and hoots and it now sounds 100x louder by the time it reaches our bedroom fireplace. Makes me jump everytime.

Not as bad as mating foxes in the fields though. They sound like someone is screaming for help. Horrible.

Then we have the other birds of prey who leave pigeon parts around the garden. They could as least eat the pheasants who make the worst sound of any bird.

Sat out in garden today. So loud with bloody bees rustling in the cherry tree.

I blame not enough pesticides round here.

They are magnificent. So silent in flight. And yes look like ghosts! They do screech though.
My chimney owl is a male Tawny who starts his Hooooooooos around midnight, or earlier if I am watching a horror/thriller film in bed.

Not the owls! Growing up, my bedroom faced trees that were absolutely festooned with the local bird population. I've always had trouble sleeping. Having owls hooting away at the antisocial hour of 11pm, and the woodpigeons raving at dawn, plus the resident woodpecker, made me an absolute delight on zombiefied schooldays! The annoying thing is that the woodpigeons followed me when I moved hundreds of miles away, so I still had to put up with the dawn-time raves.

We also had peacocks that regularly escaped in the village where I grew up. My friend was terrified on seeing this huge bird in a tree by my window one night. Being a townie, she thought that I was lying about what living in the countryside was like!

I now live even more rurally. Interestingly, the woodpigeons haven't found me here... yet... but the crows like to clog-dance on my roof, pheasants (and badgers) are regular roadkill and I saw a hawk happily demolishing a pigeon in next door's garden while I was eating lunch one day. That was a tad off-putting. The countryside is anything but quiet and peaceful!

Rob Beckett advises country dwellers to never try to unscrew the head off an owl, as you’ll be there forever. So taking its batteries owlt won’t help.

Owls are fabulous! There are some near where I live and I often hear them when I get up for my 3am pee, and occasionally later, just before dawn.

I especially love barn owls. A friend used to work in the gardens at a nearby National Trust property, and they had barn owls roosting in the mower shed. When they had babies, I went to see them and they were just the cutest little things.

Because they were used to people coming and going all day long, they weren't bothered by being close to humans and would look down at all the activity from their perch on the rafters.

Randy cats here.

I’d love an owl! 🦉

Barn owls have those lovely faces, so I could put up with them. But Tawny Twat and his Mrs need to move to someone who will appreciate them.

I have checked my chimney, and there are no letters from Hogwarts, so it is not Hedwig trying to tell me I am a wizard.

Loving this thread! Don’t get in a flap, OP. Practise ‘hearing’ their calls as music 🎶 lulling you to sleep. Or maybe meditate? If you’re not experienced in meditation you could just wing it …

Meditation my work. It is windy tonight, but there is still
some antisoci-owl behaviour from the juven-owl delinquents.

Some owl-mazing responses, lots of talon-ted owl enthoooosiasts sharing their wisdom.

Feather or not you like them, owls are a hoot!

Thought I'd resurrect an old name of mine to say I love owls. Their hoots and calls make me feel safe.

Except Duo. He can fuck off. Judgemental passive aggressive twat.

I have lain awake at night wondering how to catch and strangle the blasted owl in the hedge of my garden.

Serious and considered, I thought about it.

After two years I moved out for non owl related reasons.

Aww, owlets, they're so cute ...

(ETA they're so cute, the anti-sleaze AI seems to have decided they're too much for your tender eyes 🤣 Hope they're available by the time you all get up for breakfast!)

The top right hand ones look like aliens.

Maybe alien spottings are all from people who saw a baby owl while drunk.

My DDad had a tawny owl living in his garden. We used to see it often sitting in a tree and it used to wake me up at night with its calls.
One afternoon about 4pm, on a walk, we saw an owl flying low over a field, hunting. It was a truly magical sight. It was only about 4ft 9ff he ground.

I’m really jealous. Send them my way please.

So, we have them having hoot offs at the back (where our bedroom is) sometimes. I like it.

Question though: We have one which goes Hoooo, (short pause) h'h'h hooooo. From the same spot. Which one is that?

It's not a tawit - tawooo, or the screech of a barn owl, we get those too and they're easy to distinguish. This one's a definite hooooo. (pause) h' h' h' hoooooo. It's quite deep.

Or maybe it's the male tawooo'ing and we don't have a female to tawit? Or we can't hear that cos she's too far away.

But it's not a 2 syllable tawoo, it's def the 5 syllable hoo h h h hooo.

I sound raving mad 😂

I do like owls but they have ridiculously long legs.

I have one of those who sits on my chimney. I am sure he pokes his head down to amplify the noise to scare me. I always thought it was a male Tawny. Hooooooo oooooo

Just wait until you can hear the baby owls as well! They sounds like dog squeaky toys and do go on all night as the beg for food.

(I love it - but suspect you won’t)

I sometimes hear the tawnies at night. I still find the ghostly noises a little eerie even into middle age. However, I want to see a parakeet, or several parakeets. Apparently there are colonies less than two miles from my home but they so far seem unwilling to move further east!

We’re surrounded by owls too, so I know what you mean! And by the time they’ve shut up the bloody birds are revving up their dawn chorus! I love spring but the noise drives me mad!

Much as it should be nice to hear nature at times it can be very annoying. We rented a gorgeous villa in Greece and the field next door had deer which were beautiful and friendly. Except it was October and there was a stag there who was noisily letting all the ladies know he was in the mood ALL NIGHT LONG.

I get rage at all the local garden birds who sing before the sun gets up, 23 hours a day I love hearing them, 4am to 5am I hate the fuckers.

We have a resident tawny owl and I love hearing it!