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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this packed lunch is fine?

302 replies

Lunchwoes · 01/04/2025 17:12

So about a month ago DSD switched from hot lunches to packed lunch. She goes to school from our house Monday and Tuesday so I pack her lunch.

Today her Mum has text DH and said she's always starving when she gets in Mon and Tuesday so she needs bigger lunches. He said no problem we will make them a bit bigger or pack an extra snack for later as she has netball on a Tuesday after school.

Now this is the crazy bit, she said she just buys her Tesco meal deals as they fill her up and asked that we do the same!

For info she had a cheese and tomato omelette with a slice of toast for breakfast. Her packed lunch was a roast chicken and salad wrap, apple slices and peanut butter, a Greek yogurt and some celery sticks with hummus.

I will obviously very happily pack extra if she's hungry but a tesco meal deal?!

OP posts:
jollygoose · 01/04/2025 17:14

What she means is sd prefers processed mush to the lovely healthy lunch you provided

Bimblebombles · 01/04/2025 17:14

How old is DSD? Nothing fundamentally wrong with a child having a shop bought sandwich after school if they're hungry. Wouldn't want them having crisps / a sugary drink regularly though with a meal deal.

Original poster
Lunchwoes · 01/04/2025 17:16

Bimblebombles · 01/04/2025 17:14

How old is DSD? Nothing fundamentally wrong with a child having a shop bought sandwich after school if they're hungry. Wouldn't want them having crisps / a sugary drink regularly though with a meal deal.

Sorry missed that bit out. She is 12.

OP posts:
minnienono · 01/04/2025 17:16

Ridiculous, homemade is far better. Send a second wrap rather than junk, she’ll eat it if she’s hungry

DaisyChain505 · 01/04/2025 17:17

As poster above said, What you’re being told is that DSD prefers processed crap rather than home made.

Obviously ask her preferences on what fruit she would prefer but stand firm on making your own sandwiches and wraps etc.

boobybum · 01/04/2025 17:17

I’m guessing she’s secondary school age as I’d be very surprised if you would be allowed to include peanut butter in a lunch for a child at primary school (which I agree with). If she is at secondary school could it be that she finds your healthier lunch ‘uncool’?

FairlyTired · 01/04/2025 17:17

I'd add one more thing to that, and maybe a wrap and a half or a sandwich instead as 1 wrap is quite low calorie for the filling part of the meal

FairlyTired · 01/04/2025 17:18

Or she's secondary school aged it definitely wouldn't be enough to fill mine up.

Bigsislookingforadvice · 01/04/2025 17:18

Is she hungry because she's not eating what you provide? At 12 it might a bit of a faffy pack up if you just want to eat while chatting to your friends - meal deal isn't required though, maybe a second wrap.
Better stil at 12 get her to make up what she's wants (with in reason)

ThePinkPowerRangers · 01/04/2025 17:21

You’re allowed to send in peanut butter??

Make an extra wrap or ask DSD what she wants. She’s 12 she can decide what she wants to eat.

Ponoka7 · 01/04/2025 17:21

I think that on netball days, two wraps are needed. Fruit isn't filling for everyone. I'd rather have more carbs and protein than the sugar in fruit. Perhaps mirror the sandwich filling of the meal deal.

MellowPinkDeer · 01/04/2025 17:21

My kids would be starving with that lunch OP. Needs more carbs. And also, it is faffy, are you sure she is eating it?

occasional meal deals are fine, if it works for her mum then I wouldn’t die in a ditch over it.

LoopyLooooo · 01/04/2025 17:23

YANBU

And there's nothing wrong with being 'starving' when you get home from school whether you've played netball for an hour or not.

Hunger is not the enemy.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 01/04/2025 17:23

I'd say OP's offerings are much more filling than a meal deal!

TwentyTwentyFive · 01/04/2025 17:24

To be honest one chicken wrap and a bit of fruit/veg really isn't much and I wouldn't be surprised to hear she's hungry. Nevertheless, she is 12 she can surely make her own lunch and put in how much she would like.

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 01/04/2025 17:26

Oh thank you OP, I love an MN food thread!

Just waiting for somebody to comment on the salt content, one the sugar, and another to say up the protein and I'll be a happy bunny.

FranticHare · 01/04/2025 17:27

At 12 mine were making their own... A lot easier all round.

Provide a variety of fillings and bread/wraps etc and off they go. Add in some fruit and a yoghurt or something (whatever I have or was on special offer!), all good.

They make what they like and therefore eat it. I don't get the hassle!

Certainly would not be buying a meal deal every day! The drink by itself would not be ideal let alone the cost.

TidyDancer · 01/04/2025 17:28

It sounds like a good lunch but if she’s hungry, she’s hungry. Maybe a second wrap, extra houmous or a cheese portion? Tbf it would be more than enough for me but I’m on mounjaro. 😂

There’s nothing inherently wrong with a meal deal because they are a lot better these days than they used to be in terms of offering a healthy mixture but obviously there are unhealthy options there so maybe she’s eating those because she prefers them? Not great and I wouldn’t allow it myself but that’s probably the reason.

Either way, at 12 I would involve her in the choices as much as possible.

FranticHare · 01/04/2025 17:28

TwentyTwentyFive · 01/04/2025 17:24

To be honest one chicken wrap and a bit of fruit/veg really isn't much and I wouldn't be surprised to hear she's hungry. Nevertheless, she is 12 she can surely make her own lunch and put in how much she would like.

Depends on the chicken. A slice from a pack of sliced chicken from the supermarket - probably not. Best part of a chicken breast cut up with tomato, cucumber etc than I would say much more filling.

StrawberryWater · 01/04/2025 17:32

My son, 10, has a sandwich (usually ham or cheese), fruit, carrot sticks (or red pepper or cucumber), yoghurt, small cake or biscuit (as he's allowed).

If he's doing sports I put in a small pasta pot as he eats more on those days for the energy.

comoatoupeira · 01/04/2025 17:32

Come on, you know it's more than OK and you know that the Tesco meal deal is not OK.
Don't be faux naive. Sounds like you need to have a frank but calm conversation all together about the food.

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 01/04/2025 17:32

What does she choose from the meal deal?

If it's a wrap, it's not much different, but if it's one of the pasta salad bowls or something like that, then that's a lot more filling.

Original poster
Lunchwoes · 01/04/2025 17:34

FranticHare · 01/04/2025 17:27

At 12 mine were making their own... A lot easier all round.

Provide a variety of fillings and bread/wraps etc and off they go. Add in some fruit and a yoghurt or something (whatever I have or was on special offer!), all good.

They make what they like and therefore eat it. I don't get the hassle!

Certainly would not be buying a meal deal every day! The drink by itself would not be ideal let alone the cost.

Yeah I will probably just do this. She can come with us to do the food shop at the weekend and pick some things and I'll make sure it's filling enough.

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 01/04/2025 17:35

Wow, batshit that a parent would request processed crap for their child in preference to a healthy home cooked meal! 2 wraps is the answer. Yanbu.

LillylollyAndy · 01/04/2025 17:37

I think the child is telling her mother something else
your lunches are better for her than a Tesco meal deal but she probably just wants those