Humiliated by work colleague about smelly toilet

[JadeyGreen]

My workplace has a shared toilet - it’s outside the office in a corridor so people can’t see the comings and goings.

Anyway, I noticed this smelt really foul when I went in this morning (no big deal, it’s a toilet after all). As I walked out and opened the door, my colleague was waiting to go in.

A couple of minutes after, my colleague walked back into the office and announced ‘JadeyGreen, what on earth did you have for breakfast? it absolutely stinks in there’

I obviously protested my innocence -
but it was really humiliating in front of the c.15 colleagues who were in work today. We have quite serious roles and this isn’t the sort of comment people usually make.

AIBU to feel offended?

Yes. Very humiliating of him and not professional. I would contact your line manager about the drains and his comment - very belittling

Best way to deal with a bully, turn it round.

"fine when I left it, whoever smelt it dealt it"

Also, just know they are a dick..

I absolutely would complain to HR.
That definitely is a shocking thing to say.

Yes, that was pretty awful. All I can say is that in my experience not everyone uses the same filter around these sorts of comments. My family pretended poo, toilets, periods or anything 'uncomfortable' just didn't exist. Certainly they were never spoken about. My husband's family were the exact opposite and it was considered perfectly normal to discuss each other's bowel habits even at the dinner table. It wouldn't have even occurred to them that this could be embarrassing for some people. I suspect you are working with someone with that kind of sensibility but I'm not sure what you can do about it. A retort as suggested above wouldn't bother them in the slightest.

Gawd that's horrid. Especially coming from a man?! If it was a female friend in a very light-hearted way I'd be the first to say 'oh, I'd give it five minutes'. If I was the culprit. But surely there's an freshener in there and adequate ventilation?

This kind of thing happened once when I was in hospital. Our bay had five people so the culprit could easily be identified you'd think.

Obviously everyone in hospital is constipated. The food, the drugs etc.

anyway, there was a turd bigger than my head in the bowl one day. I've never seen anything like it.

But as I was injured and needed a pish I just went anyway. Told the nurses it wasn't me...but it caused a scandal. Six nurses in there, I don't know how they got it down?! We were all in hysterics by that point. But no-one owned up. 🤣🤣🤢

If I heard someone make a comment like that it would reflect very badly on them, not the 'target' of the comment.
No.1 it's obviously very rude and shows poor manners to comment on a personal subject like that.
No.2 you should never cast aspersions on someone with absolutely no basis.

He's a badly brought up, petty arse. Hold your head up, and don't let him get you down. In fact, after work go out and buy yourself a treat, you deserve it 💐

The op didn’t say if the colleague was a man or a woman.

My family are actually the second kind, being all boys (except me). However the "who did that!" jokes are very much a family thing, my boys would never make a comment like that at work, or to anyone outside of the household.

I'd speak to him privately and tell him to desist with his humiliating comments

What do you mean especially coming from a man? Op didn’t mention whether their colleague was male or female.

She points out that it is a shared toilet; the only reason to say that is to let us know that it is used by men as well so we can assume the person waiting to go in was a man.

I took it to mean that it is not within the office space, so potentially “shared” with people from different companies.

That was incredibly rude and grossly unprofessional.

Thats completely OOO.

Even if it had been you - maybe IBD, IBS etc he would be harassing you for an illness.

I would email him and ask for an apology cc your boss and his boss and all the 15 people who overheard.

Horrible. I've had that from other women in a small office, gossiping and giggling and who couldn't believe I would do a number 2 in an office toilet. Didn't know it was harassment at the time but still thought they were pathetic.

I’d be mortified and very upset if someone said that to me at work in front of others particularly when I was innocent .

That's a standard banter in my work place!
The person on the receiving end gives back as good as they get.
I know our work place isn't for everyone!

To clarify, it was a woman colleague.

Clearly not ^

I took that to mean it could of been a man or woman that made the smell before OP went in

Your assumption was incorrect.

That’s what I meant :)

4 posters before me all replied saying “he” and “him.” I posted a possible reason for the assumption when it was questioned why people were assuming.

Why are you singling out my post? There are 4 others.

4 posters before me all replied saying “he” and “him.” I posted a possible reason for the assumption when it was questioned why people were assuming.
Why are you singling out my post? There are 4 others.

@Thebloodynine haven't singled you out! You were the only one explaining why you thought they were male, so I responded with clearly not (as OP clarified).