Humiliated by work colleague about smelly toilet

[JadeyGreen]

My workplace has a shared toilet - it’s outside the office in a corridor so people can’t see the comings and goings.

Anyway, I noticed this smelt really foul when I went in this morning (no big deal, it’s a toilet after all). As I walked out and opened the door, my colleague was waiting to go in.

A couple of minutes after, my colleague walked back into the office and announced ‘JadeyGreen, what on earth did you have for breakfast? it absolutely stinks in there’

I obviously protested my innocence -
but it was really humiliating in front of the c.15 colleagues who were in work today. We have quite serious roles and this isn’t the sort of comment people usually make.

AIBU to feel offended?

They just mindlessly guessed. You cited faulty ‘evidence’.

Cited faulty evidence? What is wrong with you?

This thread is fucking hilarious😂 I love when people are insecure about getting something wrong

What’s wrong with you? You incorrectly deduced it was a man, but it wasn’t. End of story.

looks like karma

When I come out of a smelly toilet, if there's someone waiting, I make a point of saying "that was not me" and wafting my hand.

A bit off topic but we have two single sex toilets at work in a female dominated workplace so not enough women’s toilets.

The women use the men’s and there is a distinct hi occurrence of poos in the men’s. So much that I no longer use the men’s to poo and use the customer toilet instead for the reasons in the op post.

It is one of many reasons single sex toilets. Also @JadeyGreen whoever said what was said is really out of order. You could have been ill or on medication and shit shaming even in this case when it wasn’t you is horrible.

I feel for you, OP.

One of my pet hates in life is to have to go into a smelly loo and then have the person waiting outside think it's me. But my more rational self knows that gong to the loo and doing a poo is a fact of life and poo can be smelly.

So, horrible though it is to encounter a really stinky loo, it's human life and this man needs to a) get over it and b) have it explained to him that it's the worst possible form to comment on anything to do with other people (outside family) going to the loo. You just don't do it.

Definitely take it further - he needs to learn.

It wasn't a man

She was obviously embarrassed and didn't want anyone thinking it was her. I would think she came across as insecure and immature if I were a colleague.

Outrageous behaviour.

However if I left a stinky toilet as someone else was entering I would say “It wasn’t me!”

Was she just trying to be funny, or do you think she was trying to humiliate you? Is she normally a nice person or a bit of a twat?

*She needs to learn.

I immediately thought woman.

Hideous thing to do. Exact revenge!

You assume wrong. Stinky man bashing going on here.

And now that OP has revealed it was a woman, the replies have almost dried up. Woman-bashing is much less fun!

Woman or man, it was a sh*y comment

I think this is a classic case of your colleague not wanting to be accused of the role of the toxic perfumist and going on the offensive to your detriment. Not nice. Perhaps stool for time and see if she does anything else nasty. If not, let the atmosphere dissipate and remember her card is stained.

Very rude and unnecessary of her. Is she normally such a fuckwit?

As soon as you can get a quietish moment with her then I would tell her bluntly that it wasn't you, it wasn't funny, it was very bad mannered and you didn't appreciate it. Tell her to never do it again.

email manager and colleague right now. There’s a serious matter you wish to discuss with both of them present. They f no apology is forthcoming the. Escalate a complaint

I really don’t know, she hasn’t been with us too long and is a bit of a loud mouth. I’d like to think it was nothing malicious but I’d expect better from a grown adult.

Her terrible attempt at office banter will have back-fired. I very much doubt anyone else will have found it funny or appropriate in the office. Like I said before, you can hold your head up and act with dignity, do not accept any embarrassment.

Let yourself be annoyed about it today and try to move on. I wouldn't make a complaint at this stage, or draw any more attention to it. However, if she ever says anything else I'd thow it back at her and say loudly, "you do seem to have a nasty habit of opening your mouth and embarrassing yourself, don't you?"

HR as others have said. It also seems likely that bad smells are caused by him hence the blame distraction and thinking that it's normal to shit out your breakfast within hours.

Tbh if a toilet smelt bad I'd probably warn the next person going in.

That said, some colleagues will likely think she was rude, others probably won't care.

I suppose it goes towards was she doing it deliberately to try & embarrass you?

I hate toilet humour/references so she’d definitely go on my black list lol