To ask what your most stupid work telling off was?

[BeatleBattleInABottle]

I need cheering up so if you'd like to share the most stupid reasons you've been told off for at work, that would help!

I've just been issued a formal warning for not following sickness procedures. I returned to work today after being off work since last Monday. Literally "Hi, welcome back. Here's a warning". The reason I didnt follow sickness procedures was because I texted my boss each day instead of phoning in. She replied so she received them. Why did I text? I collapsed on Sunday evening and was in hospital until Sunday. TBH they are lucky I remembered to contact them at all for the first few days. I certainly wasn't in a state to talk.

Same job a few months back. I was organising a conference for 350 people. I needed to confirm numbers so sent a professional email to everyone asking thrm to confirm attendance, dietary and other requirement etc. If they hadn't replied by the deadline, I would phone them. Plenty of time to do this. Nope. Not good enough. I had to recall the email and spend 3 days calling people instead. Great use of time, boss!

Finally, last month, I was sent an email bitching about me. They'd obviously put my name in the address, instead of the subject. I just replied "I don't think this was meant for me". Apparently that was "unprofessional" and upset the people who'd sent it! In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have replied, just to watch them squirm.

Yes, I'm stepping up my job hunt.

A supervisor once had words with me for "always finishing early". I was on a flexitime contract, with core hours of 10-16.00. I came in around 8.30 and never minded spending the first hour or so of the day dealing with colleagues' work as they drifted in between 9 and 10, but apparently they didn't think they should have to return the favour when I finished at 16.30.

Years ago with my ex bully manager one of her most ridiculous tellings off was because I didn't copy her into every email I wrote. I wrote at least 50 a day so I started copying her in. Then I was told off because it was too much.

This reminds me of an incident in my first job at 16. I was filing hundreds of microfiche (postcard size plastic sheets with lots of information which you read with a machine with a screen which enlarged the info). I was alone in what was essentially a cupboard with a window & half a dozen of tiny drawer filing cabinets and a desk with the microfiche reader.
It was incredibly boring so I took in my walkman (ageing myself here 😁). The door suddenly opened & the Head of Dept was stood there. Told me in no uncertain terms that I must not listen to music at work & slammed the door.
I went to see my manager who said unfortunately because HoD had seen me I had to put the Walkman away. But he agreed with me that I wasn't doing anything wrong.
That was a very long & boring 2 weeks of filing.

I once ( this is going back about 25 years!) got sacked from an office job because apparently my breasts were too large to look decent in their required office attire.

Glad it's not just me that didn't understand that one at all! I'm assuming @RaraRachael meant to say that it's on the mainland and not on Sicily?

A volunteer had suggested they took the takings home at the end of the long day and brought them back for the very early start the next morning. She had never asked before, I would never have permitted it if she had, and she had a key to the building where the safe was situated. Also I was on bloody maternity leave at the time. Yet my not very nice boss decided to cross question me about it on my return several months later rather than my equally unpleasant maternity cover who disappeared home early on events rather than waiting for the volunteers to finish as I did.

I am in a far healthier work environment these days. Unpleasant former boss lost her job a couple of years later.

I got a dressing down from my boss for telling him that I was pregnant (with a much wanted baby for DH and I). Apparently I was letting him and the company down as they had no one else trained up to do my job and I was going to want to take maternity leave.
I took the maternity leave then told them where to stuff their job and complained to HR about his conduct.

Previous job - a manager dragged me in front of the works psych to ask him when i was going to "get over it" because i'd just got back to work and the first job she put me on was taking a client to her grans funeral because she was upset.
I'd asked if someone could cover that particular task, as i was back at work 2 days after my mothers funeral.
When the psych blinked at her very slowly and said "its been less than a week" she got in a huff and the following day put me on performance review - the main body of which was since returning from work I hadnt "made full eye contact" while she was speaking to me.

Absolute cow.

@RaraRachael was clearly (IMO) quoting what the headteacher had said to her while telling her off.

HoD came into me about a parental complaint that I'd asked their offspring to remove their coat.
School policy was no coats on in the buildings.

The idiocy was very much alive and well established in schools 20 years ago.

This was the school where OFSTED came in, flagged up significant levels of low level disruption and the head's response was to snarl at all the staff "plan your lessons better"
Personally I felt that de-beaucratising the tedious behaviour management system that a Vogon would have been proud of might have been a better tactic.

I was once pulled aside by my supervisor who said the team I had been seconded to were annoyed I didn’t say good morning when I came in. This was a team in the public sector who all walzed in whenever they wanted, left early and sat about chatting all day whilst I did the actual work.

More recently my boss was on holiday for a fortnight so I was covering his stuff whilst also meeting some pretty tough deadlines of my own. I didn’t mind because he is a good boss and works hard for his holidays, those two weeks’ off is pretty much the only time he doesn’t work. On my timesheet I recorded my hours and over the course of three weeks I had averaged about 70 hours per week. The MD of the company was raging that I had worked so many hours and I should have spoken to someone about it. Hard to do since my boss was off and over the course of the 3 weeks I had tried to get hold of the other two director’s to ask a couple of questions and they never responded.

The ridiculous thing is, I’m salaried, I don’t get paid for overtime, nor do I get time off in lieu. If I hadn’t done the work, one of our main clients would have been left in a shitty position. I’m not entirely sure what the Directors would have done as there was no-one else who could do the work. My boss told me to take a few days off to make up for it but not to put that on my timesheet!

Wow. Some shocking (but also sad at the same time) experiences here. I have a few from my teens/early twenties.

1. I was told to take displays down in my classroom that I had covering walls where the plaster was falling off. I took them down.... to be told my classroom looked uninviting and shoddy....

1. The headteacher pulled me to one side after he 'caught me' wearing a coat to teach PE... outside....in the winter.

1. Same headteacher sent a message to staff that they weren't allowed to wear scarves (not the woolly kind, more the smart kind you would wear out for a meal) as work wear.

1. Same headteacher: I had to take a large sum of money (back in the day when bank transfers weren't a thing) to a letting agent straight after school. I'd had things go missing from my desk drawers before and school refused to provide secure storage so I took my bag out for break duty. I was warned that wearing a handbag however small outside was not allowed and I should have left it on my desk.

I was so young that I changed my behaviour rather than questioning authority. Looking back now I shudder that I just accepted I was in the wrong.

One just this week actually! My boss told me everything I’ve done on a particular task over the last week is shit, and that he reckons if he looked back over the last three months, it would ALL be shit. This is despite me a) following a format he requested and b) providing this content to him to review every day, as requested. In six months, not one comment.

Another boss years ago, where I was supporting another team on a project. I was told the document I was working on had to be ready by Friday. I was asked for progress reports more than once with “Will you be ready by Friday?” and I said I would. I then got a panicked out of hours phone call on Wednesday asking where everything was, because “obviously” senior management would need two days to review it. Never once had anyone told me THEIR deadline was Friday. Every comment and prompt was to “be ready for Friday”. When I protested to my boss, she repeatedly said “it’s common sense” and berated me for not knowing. It was so obviously the project manager’s fuck-up for not clearly saying “We need to send this out on Friday - can you do your part by Wednesday so that we have two days to review?” But he was senior, and the only way my boss knew how to cope with senior people was to crawl to them and punch down if anything went wrong.

A more comically ridiculous one… in a very formal work environment, a colleague was actually called into the office for coming back from lunch without his tie. He apologised and explained he’d spilled soup down it and would be back to normal tomorrow, but was told “Maybe you should have had a spare one in your drawer”. I don’t know if he complained, but the compulsory tie rule was dropped soon afterwards.

Ooh another one.

Different headteacher.

I was a year 6 teacher, link teacher for PE and subject leader as well as being in charge of school trips and sports competitions. I went to the head and asked that whilst sats prep was taking place if someone else could be given sports competition duty as I didn't have the time to ensure everything was completed. He said absolutely no problem, he would do them.

He then proceed to bollock me in his office for all to hear, that the children had missed a cricket competition as I hadn't organised a team. When I explained we'd had the conversation about this. His response was he thought it was all sports except cricket?! The mind boggles.

I got a warning and was told I should be grateful it wasn't going to disciplinary because I had to get a sick note backdated as I couldn't get an appointment with my GP until after the last one had expired.

Had a large pulmonary embolism, enough to take my breath away from just speaking or changing sitting positions, so actually ended up back in hospital on a lower floor with no phone signal so I couldn't contact my employer to let them know my next sick note would be late in and backdated.

I can’t name her unfortunately ☹️ but I have so many funny stories from that job. She used to go off to Hong Kong especially to buy knock off designer handbags. All the celebs do it!

This one wins hands down! Unbelievable!

I referred to a colleague as being fired when he had been fired. It wasn't redundancy, they just didn't like him and got rid. Apparently it wasn't for speaking about after and I got a loud dressing down. Then I got a second telling off for not chatting to the person who had told me off like it had never happened.

It was stated in an annual appraisal that I was very much in the 9-5 habit. My contracted hours were 9-5. Just because I got to work at 8.55 am to start at 9 am and I would finish at 5 pm and leave around 10 minutes later and I took my full 1 hour lunch break (unpaid) I wasn't a team player.

Apologies I thought you meant you weren’t working with a team. Not that you were in a room by yourself…

I casually mentioned to a team member, in my manager's hearing, that I was looking forward to my holiday the following week.

I got taken into a room by my manager and told off because it was hurtful to her to say I was looking forward to my holiday, as it implied I didn't enjoy working in her team.

Oh I see. Doh! Sorry @RaraRachael - slow of comprehension day today 😂

Got told off for not working through my unpaid lunch break. Boss said I should because she (paid break) did.

I was a receptionist (training in a new place so manager was beside me) and was passing on a call and asked 'may i have your name please?'

She audibly scoffed beside me while i was still on the phone and i looked at her and she was shaking her head with a pretty angry expression.

I got a complete dressing down (in front of visitors and colleagues)
turns out i should have asked 'Who is calling?'

I did ask that from then on and the answer back most of the time was 'me'
So i had to ask my original question anyway

Ahhh…those are terrible! I hope you’re feeling better, OP.

In my first proper office job, my bosses came to my home to let me go for ‘going on unsuitable websites in work time on my work computer’. This was back in 2002, when the internet was still reasonably young. I’d rolled out the whole office from a DOS-based system to Windows XP and trained everyone how to use it (certainly not in my insurance broker job description and on top of my usual workload!).

I’d been working with other artists using a well-known graphic design website to develop an online logo for the website I’d been building for them in my own time, building on their current brand to make it fit for the web. Unfortunately for me, they read deviant-art as deviant tart and assumed I was watching porn (in an open office at work 😂) and showed up at my mum’s door to sack me. I didn’t even bother explaining, I just walked away and got another job. They went under a couple of years later as they couldn’t compete with online, direct insurance websites.

If they’d talked to me, then they’d have at least been marketing their offer online and I was exploring the use of social media data collection to target potential consumers in those heady pre-privacy control days. Not saying any of it would have worked but they’d have had a shot, at least. I went back to uni the next year, and never looked back.