To think there are too many useless men / manchild's!

[ThatFairDeer]

Sorry I just feel the need to vent! But when reading so many OP's posts about their DH's either not bothering with mother's day, getting it woefully wrong or whatever I feel the rage. It's 1 day a year! Every year - it's not something new that has only started this year!! And when the shoe is on the other foot you can be damn well sure that on Father's day there's cards, and gifts and maybe even a nice meal!!

As mother's what are we doing that men are ending up like this!? We need to raise our boys better - so that they become better men!

Am I the asshole thinking that too many men are self entitled assholes who expect to be looked after, lifted and layed with some of them even abusive or violent!

I've long believed it's not so much laziness as it is that, in general, men and women have different standards. Men will clean when they think it's necessary, but their standards of when cleaning is necessary and how clean "clean" is is different to a woman's. Women tend to do the bulk of the cleaning because the mess reaches a level they can't tolerate much sooner than it would for a man. Women want cleaning to be proactive, to prevent mess, and men are happy to wait for the mess to appear before dealing with it... to a degree... eventually.

A woman sees a room as being 20% dirty, a man sees it as being 80% clean. They might be in agreement as to the level of mess, but their view of whether it is acceptable or not is completely different.

My DH is extremely capable, is a great cook and kept a very tight ship before we had children. Like others, he also got used to me doing everything through maternity/Covid (they coincided and I didn’t go back to work for some time). Everything house related is a battle now. I don’t know what happens to them. I would never have married a man child.

And this is so, so true.

I wouldn’t see a Mother’s Day thing as a sign of a good man. You shouldn’t need Mother’s Day. Mothers shouldn’t be taking the brunt of child care and home duties such that they need to be rewarded. That’s what birthdays are for.

I don’t think men are good at everything - good providers, good lovers, good dads, good looking, domesticated, faithful etc you will be hard pushed to find the perfect one - I went with good provider and good dad and faithful and over the years have tried to mould him to the rest a challenge at times but after 50 years we are doing ok

Op doesn’t call him husband and also says she’s single

Too many men think that their responsibilities stop after providing sperm.

I don’t really care about Mother’s Day. If I did want something special for Mother’s Day I would tell my partner rather than make them jump through hoops trying to guess.

To be fair, that’s all some women want them for.

When i was with my ex. He did nothing at all . He would come un from work and just sit there. He ne etc moved from that seat . Just waiting for his dinner . If I was lucky he would take his plate in the kitchen. No scrapping it no putting it on the dishwasher. He saw it he worked i did not. He's never understood my days don't end at 5pm for a long time I was sleeping for 3 hours a night it was awful.

He made me feel extremely worthless like I was below him. He would buy me nice things say he loves me etc. He seemed to think that's his bit done .

Soon as we were in bed he wanted sex felt like a machine.

When i was struggling with both kids I asked him to help . His mum piped up he's got a 3hrs fucking drive . Another time he had a cold and his mum said simlar because he had a cold.

The kids are 8 and 9 now so it's a long time ago. But its stayed with me because of how worthless he made me feel . I felt a massive weight lift when we split for good.

He's now a Disney dad.

Not this nonsense again….

Yes wanting clean plates to eat off and clean clothes and somebody to actually give a damn about their partner is just “different standards”.

If it is just “different standards” why do so many of them conceal their true character till the woman is locked down?

Where on earth did you grow up @cadburyegg??

I’m 55 and my 80 year old father has always pulled his weight at home. He still does! And we’re Northern so hardly a bastion of forward thinking. In fact it was my Dad who taught me how to iron (amongst other things). I don’t think he’s let anyone iron his clothes since the 1960s He also cleans and is usually up at 5am every Christmas morning to put the turkey in the oven. Just as well he’s like this as my mother wouldn’t have tolerated any of this learned male incompetence rubbish.

Why do women get married to or have children with these useless men? They set their standards so very low, spend most of their time enabling the crap behaviour and then on occasions like Mother’s Day, they feel hard done by.

My husband is a fantastic dad; the kindest person I know. I have never had to attempt to domesticate him - he arrived fully formed because his parents brought him up well. He is completely devoted to me and always has been.

Parents need to raise their sons to be brilliant men and women need to stop settling for anything less.

Men are a pain in the fucking arse. I long for Matriarchy, because men have absolutely no business with their patriarchal bullshit running the show.

It is commercialised crap!
I’m a mum every day, my hubby and kids are good to me every day!

They don't always show there true colours till after children

Don't skivvy for them. I remember a colleague moaning about having to tidy her boyfriend's flat and they weren't even living together.

Raise the bar: he doesn't see the mess, men can't clean, it's quicker to do it myself, I have higher standards...are all bullshit excuses.

Apparently he can put in 12 hour days doing a difficult job but he can't separate whites. It's a complete lack of respect and indicative that he won't lift a finger with children.

So its not the woman's fault yet it is the woman's fault?

I've been flamed for this on many threads, and said it in many different ways.

So I will try this one

This breed of man/teen/boy would die out if women didn't give them the time of day.
I can see how it can be excused in the teens years, but in older years and after the first child.

How?
Courtney Love is 60!

I am.in no way excusing the awful behaviour of many men however I do feel many women make poor choices over who to have children with.

I think very few man actually change when children arrive, I think undesirable traits become more apparent after children are born. These traits were always there and were very often visible before starting a family. But if a guy is good-looking all sorts of things are forgiven in the early stages of a relationship

Ugly men can also be useless partners too. It’s not about looks.

Nah, you are talking nonsense. You sound quite biased.
Plenty of women are useless waste of space, too.
Just look a this forum! So many threads created by women are just a storm on a teacup.
Men do not have the monopoly of incompetence. Foolishness is evenly distributed across all genders, all races and all ages.

It's not men who are foolish; they're not the ones doing all the housework, childcare and working full time. They're playing golf and having their dinner cooked.

Nope... no man bashing on this thread!