Would you tell your partner if they had bad table manners?

[PinataHeeHaw]

I ate out last night and the amount of people (grown adults) I saw eating with their mouths wide open was quite shocking. There was a woman across from me churning her food round her mouth and I could see all of it. I wondered if the man with her had ever said anything to her. I also regularly see adults walking down the street with a snack, usually from Greggs, eating with their mouths wide open for the world to see.

I'd tell them I can see what they're eating, yes. Then again I wouldn't stay long with someone who didn't have basic manners.

If their table manners were that bad they would never have become my partner in the first place.

I have extreme misaphonia so I wouldn't be able to live with this at all unless i had on my love goggles on and didn't notice until it was too late and I suddenly killed him lost my shit.

I wouldn’t have a partner with bad table manners.

We’ve just been out for dinner and had the misfortune to sit near to a man who held his cutlery aloft in his fists between mouthfuls, took sips of his drink when he had food in his mouth, and used his fork as a spade. Yuck.

I wouldn't go out with somebody that gross.

The people you could see chewing with their mouth open were facing you, so I’m guessing their partner had their back to you. They were probably doing the same. Perhaps they look lovingly at each other’s macerated food 🤢

I don’t think I would comment if someone had bad table manners but I wouldn’t eat with them again

Yes, absolutely.

My BIL makes me feel sick. In every other aspect of life, he's a very civilised and nice man. But when eating, he will - for instance - eat a burger with his hands and lick ALL 10 fingers before the next mouthful. He will then pick up the plate and lick it at the end. I'm squirming in my chair with the agony of it all, feeling repulsed and horrified, and thinking how on earth my SIL could bring herself to make a baby with him.

He once cooked us burgers on the bbq and would turn each burger over with his hands, lick his fingers, turn them over again, lick his fingers. Then gave his fingers a final lick before using his hands to pick up each burger and plonk them on our plates 🤢

Well, most early dates revolve around food, so someone with terrible manners around food wouldn’t have got anywhere near ‘partner’ status.

After watching great british menu, and observing people eating in various places, I am more shocked at their inability to hold a knife and fork properly

I mention open mouthed chewing. I don't correct etiquette, unless it's something they need to know, like which bread roll is theirs.

DP can't hold this knife and fork properly because he's right handed but becuase of an injury to his right wrist needs to use cutlery the other way round. It's not pretty to watch him tear at his food and I'm sure people judge....

For me it's more the sound of chewing that bugs me but maybe that's because I rarely see people eating with their mouths open. My ds 12 does it sometimes but immediately stops because ds 15 autistic throws a fit. I wouldn't eat out with people who have no manners because it would bug me too much.

They wouldn’t be my partner for long. I loath bad table manners

My partner is disgusting. Always puts too much food in his mouth so he can't close it. Takes a drink while the food is still in his mouth to try and help him close it and chew.
He has brought me to tears on occasion. Sometimes, before he starts, I say, "hang on a minute" and I turn tv/radio up loud and have sometimes put in earphones. But mostly I just leave the room.
Recently I made soup. Blended it to a completely smooth soup, and then watched in disgust as he chewed the fucking thing!

He also puts the knife between is thumb and index finger, slides it along to get any food off it and eats it. I blame his mother

I wouldn't have a partner with terrible table manners. It's indicative of them having no consideration for other people.

Same with people who treat restaurant staff poorly.

I have not completely cured DH of licking his knife, much to my dismay. He only does it very occasionally but it is revolting and I say so.

It never ceases to amaze me how many people have no idea how to use a knife and fork properly. Clearly it's not taught any more as a basic skill, and hasn't been for years.

They wouldn't have become my partner! Initial screening (dating) would have ruled them out.

They wouldn't be my partner if they had disgusting manners. A dinner date very early on is a must. You also want to see how they behave to waiting staff.
I had a formal dinner at Christmas with some work colleagues. One beside me had his knife and fork in the wrong hands, hunched over his plate like a caveman and ate with smacking sounds. Another one just stabbed things with his fork and then ate them like a lollipop. Couldn't believe it. Professional men in their late 40s eating like toddlers. I could see our host looking. Not everything is fine dining but basic table manners are so important.

^^ OMG this. Was in a lovely French restaurant for dinner recently and a couple opposite. The man hunched over his plate when it arrived, shovelled every last morsel in without looking up, no conversation with his partner, then dumped his cutlery down and wiped his mouth with his hand.

It was like watching a combine harvester.

My exH was a pig (probably still is).
We once went out for lunch and he ordered a starter, two sides, a main, a dessert and a milkshake.

I sat and watched him shovel it all into his mouth, one after another. Then suddenly, he started choking on his food. Before I could react, he regurgitated it onto the plate with loud retching sounds, looked up at me weakly and went "I'm okay."

I wasn't 😳

I was in a pub once and I heard a licking/sucking noise. The bloke across the room only had one hand and was licking the stump between bites of his burger.

Why are you with someone you find disgusting?

Definitely - and I have. My husband slurps soup without realising he's doing it!

And I'm grateful for advice from the family if my manners are putting people off.

Bad table manners (and I don't mean etiquette with fancy cutlery or finger bowls!) are horrible and off-putting to other diners. You're doing your family a favour if you keep them up to scratch.

I wouldn't get involved with correcting anyone outside the family, though.

Because you would want to be very petty if you found an almost perfect man and broke up with them because they were never thought how to be civilised at a dinner table.