Would you tell your partner if they had bad table manners?

[PinataHeeHaw]

I ate out last night and the amount of people (grown adults) I saw eating with their mouths wide open was quite shocking. There was a woman across from me churning her food round her mouth and I could see all of it. I wondered if the man with her had ever said anything to her. I also regularly see adults walking down the street with a snack, usually from Greggs, eating with their mouths wide open for the world to see.

Are table manners getting worse do you think?

I'm sure I'd make some faux pas or the other every minute while dining with royalty, but I am closer to royalty than hungry farm animal in the way I eat and have taught my children the same. I'm all for being relaxed and comfortable, but the basics of using cutlery, keeping your partially chewed food to yourself, and not disgusting your companions is just basic consideration.

As for teaching children I was going to say "it's not hard". But actually it is hard. You need to start when they are too young to properly understand and persevere - it's hard, but that's not a reason to not bother, surely that's just laziness and you are doing them a disservice. Obviously there are acceptions to all of my lofty judgements for people or children who struggle in some way, but in general the decline of people's (more often men?) table manners must just be laziness.

Did you eat the burgers? I'd have come over with sudden diarrhea and stomach pains unable to eat his lovingly prepared burgers.

You put it perfectly.

I used to know a bloke who's table manners were nonexistent. You'd think he'd been starved?!
I can't stand that stuff. I eat slowly and take small bites, I don't really like seeing people hoovering food up and making lots of noise. I can't say I've ever been to a restaurant and looked at the other clients mouths while eating.

Well, I'd tell them it was the reason I was dumping them 🥴

We were brought up with impeccable table manners, yet all my siblings kids eat like animals! They hardly use cutlery, if they do it’s the wrong hand or they eat single handed like Americans you see on tv. They are all older teens so old enough to know better.
My own DC don’t have the manners we tried very hard to instil in them because of autism, they are as good as they can be, we tried our best, but I still sometimes shudder wondering what people think of them when they eat.

It wouldn't be petty to dump a boyfriend that you find so 'disgusting' that you have cried.

My partner tells me to close my mouth , embarrassed very much so , but glad they do so I’m aware when eating at work or out with others , never aware I did it as I’ve never eaten in front of mirror , my parents were hot on table manners but never mentioned it

they lick their knife which I pull them up on , hate it
and I always shudder when I see people using knife and fork incorrectly

I did eat one. I struggled to get it down though. I was planning on having a second, but passed.

I'm not a germaphobe and it wouldn't have done me any harm, but I was REPULSED and will never put myself in a situation where he's cooking for me again. I'll suggest a pub lunch next time!

Bad manners of any kind are a dealbreaker for me so they wouldn’t have got past date one, let alone be a partner. I actually think people are far too accepting of bad manners these days. Good manners were drilled into me from a very young age and even now at 55, if there was any hint of a lapse my family would be all over me.

@Mercedes45 My parents never taught me loads of the complex things I can do as an adult, but I learned anyway. At some point just beyond adolescence you become responsible for yourself, and "never taught" doesn't cut it. Anyway, it sounds like you have tried to "teach" your partner by your actions but he doesn't see the importance of it or respect you enough to learn - that's on him ☹️

Ugh, I've just spotted my awful acception/exception error and can't not apologise, I'm sorry. I'm sure nobody cares, but I do! 😆

I have a truly amazing girlfriend who is super supportive and has been there for me above and beyond BUT she has the most truly awful table manners. She eats with her mouth open and everything swirls around half in half out. She talks throughout so its more obvious. Then she picks food from inside her mouth with her finger and eats it off said finger. I feel truly sick to my stomach when we eat out. Especially as im directly opposite her. I absolutely dread it.

I don't consider myself particularly rigid on table manners and I'm largely relaxed, but overall, no, I wouldn't tell someone their manners were bad, but I also wouldn't be friends with, or date, someone who has particularly bad table manners.

DS for example, is left handed and so doesn't always use his knife and fork 100% the "correct way" but as long as he's not brandishing them around or clutching them in his fist while stabbing wildly, I'm okay with that. He does have this weird habit of hunching over the table at an angle though that I'm trying to break him out of because, as I keep telling him, when he's an adult, it might put that hot date off him!

I also constantly tell my children that my first job in my chosen career involved a second interview over lunch. It was prety clear to me that they wanted to see if I could behave appropriately in a public setting, eat appropraitely etc. Luckily I passed the test!

I wouldn’t have a partner with table manners like that as it would have put me off them before a relationship even started. But if I hypothetically DID have one who’d become a slovenly eater over time, I’d have to tactfully pull them up on it. They need to know their eating habits are unpleasant and embarrassing for those around them.

My husband had table manners when we met, if not I wouldn't have married him. I'm not sure what's happened but he has lost them and it drives me crazy! I have told him this a few times but he just goes back to terrible manners. He lectures our children on table manners at the table with his mouth full, elbow on the table and waving his fork around. I don't know what else I can do.

My ex Mother in Law used to hold her knife like a pen. Drove me insane!

PoppyBaxter
''He will then pick up the plate and lick it at the end''

I feel your pain. My friend once lifted a plate up in front of her face and licked it up and down. She finished with what can only be described as a 'steering wheel' motion round the edge. She did however employ some dining etiquette in a restaurant, she'd lick her finger instead. I once watched her employ the 'lick and stick' method chasing chocolate brownie crumbs round a plate in a cafe.

My Dad's mate did some work on their kitchen roof. He always brought some sandwiches and would pop in the house for lunch and a chat. He'd often take a drink of tea with a mouth full of sandwich. Yuk.

Random unrelated detail about him- when he went to give someone a quote he always wore a wig but did the job bald. Unless he had a twin I really can't explain that one 😂

I had a boss once who made such gross eating noises at first I thought it was a joke. Then he hired someone who's eating noise was like he'd just bust the window out of a 747. Although I love Italian food, my heart would sink on the days he fished last nights leftover spaghetti from his bag. It was like Lady and the Tramp without the lady. Grim.

I used to sit opposite a young guy at work who ate at his desk noisily with his mouth wide open, chomping away with great gusto. Ugh! I would try to time my lunch so I could be away from my desk when he was eating

To make matters worse, I think he must have taken in a lot of air by the way he ate so he would sit and burp all afternoon

My mum and her siblings were brought up with very strict table manners. My mum especially instilled them in us, but one of her siblings didn't want her own children to be made to be so formal. My cousins had pretty poor table manners as children and teenagers as a result, but they did improve in adulthood. Maybe their partners told them.