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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder where these kids are meant to go?!

279 replies

Wonderberry · 31/03/2025 19:06

Unfortunately, my child's school is closing due to the VAT imposition on private school fees. She has special needs, and her fees are paid for by her EHCP, as it is a cheaper alternative to a special school. I am not rich. She cannot attend a state mainstream due to her special needs, and the council agrees with this.

I now have no school placement for her. The special schools are hugely oversubscribed (over 10 applications per place). Even if she could go to a state mainstream, there is no space in any of them, due to lots of schools closing locally. I have called dozens of them in desperation, as I need for her to go somewhere.

I have been frantically contacting the council to get her a new school place. They won't even respond. I'm faced with her being without any school place shortly. I cannot home school as I need to work.

My DD is far from alone in this. Unfortunately, the government has paid no thought into the wellbeing of SEND children, when imposing the VAT.

OP posts:
VeryNiceDay · 01/04/2025 22:50

I have my DC at home with an EOTAS package. There are no suitable schools here, even including the many very expensive private schools. It's not great doing EOTAS either. He's lonely at home and misses his peers.

Sometimes it is just so hard for kids with SEND.

Sorry your situation is so hard OP. It really sounds very difficult. FlowersCakeBrew

Wonderberry · 01/04/2025 22:51

Fioratourer · 01/04/2025 22:48

I’m not sure if this has already been said but I found for a tutor funded by the la a parent needed to be present at home. Have you considered schools further away that the la will cover a taxi too?

I would take anything. I have asked for 2 local schools to be consulted. This is to minimise cost as well, as we wouldn't ask for transport which is very costly. I have asked the LA to suggest other options, if these are not viable. They have not responded, nor consulted the schools I asked for.

OP posts:
BustopherPonsonbyJones · 01/04/2025 22:52

Cannaeberught · 01/04/2025 22:00

It’s hard to feel sorry for a privileged minority - these famously small classes are clearly too small.

But the argument is that the falling birth rate has led to small classes in state schools, so it can’t be a privilege, can it?

This is a dreadful policy which is hurting lots of people and not just the ‘privileged minority’. Have the decency to admit it and own the fact that your desire to hurt the toffs isn’t bothering the Etonians very much, but it will affect Jane, who can’t find another job in her local area, and people like the OP’s child, who are going to struggle on a number of levels. Ideology is great but some people need to grow up and look at the impact in real life. The Labour Party needs to do this quickly if they want to stand a chance for re-election.

Wonderberry · 01/04/2025 22:52

VeryNiceDay · 01/04/2025 22:50

I have my DC at home with an EOTAS package. There are no suitable schools here, even including the many very expensive private schools. It's not great doing EOTAS either. He's lonely at home and misses his peers.

Sometimes it is just so hard for kids with SEND.

Sorry your situation is so hard OP. It really sounds very difficult. FlowersCakeBrew

Hugs. Thank you for understanding. Sadly there are some who don't and seem resentful.

OP posts:
Fioratourer · 01/04/2025 22:56

Wonderberry · 01/04/2025 22:51

I would take anything. I have asked for 2 local schools to be consulted. This is to minimise cost as well, as we wouldn't ask for transport which is very costly. I have asked the LA to suggest other options, if these are not viable. They have not responded, nor consulted the schools I asked for.

I would contact the schools yourself. Also contact sendiass. It may sound extreme but could you look further away and consider moving further out if you found the right school. I saw you were in a London in Essex I know of a few. Obviously depends on needs and type of school.

BustopherPonsonbyJones · 01/04/2025 22:57

Grammarnut · 01/04/2025 22:48

There was an attack on those industries in the 80s. There was an outcry. It did nothing - which is why we are now paying inflated energy costs, for one. Ideology is poisonous in a government, whether of right or left, or centre (this lot are centre right IMO).

Quite right. They should have learnt from the errors of the past. It was a disaster for all of those areas and the effects are still felt today. Whether you believe the Labour Party is centre right or not, this was a policy to appease the left of the party, along with the massive pay out to the train drivers. I wish they had studied the history books.

StrivingForSleep · 01/04/2025 22:58

for a tutor funded by the la a parent needed to be present at home

This may be what your LA told you, but they can’t legally rely on you for this. If another adult needs to be present &/or if tutoring needs to take place away from home, that is the LA’s responsibility.

OP, I appreciate you may not want to say so don’t feel you have to but can you say whereabouts roughly in London you are?

You mention therapies. They should be in F so you shouldn’t be paying for them. If they aren’t detailed, specified and quantified in F of the EHCP, when you have the right of appeal, you can appeal.

If the LA is ignoring your request for them to comply with the AR process, you need a pre-action letter.

@VeryNiceDay it sounds like the EOTAS package needs improving. EOTAS can include social interaction with peers.

BustopherPonsonbyJones · 01/04/2025 22:58

Wonderberry · 01/04/2025 22:52

Hugs. Thank you for understanding. Sadly there are some who don't and seem resentful.

I hope you get something sorted. I can’t help but the situation is so frustrating and unnecessary. Good luck.

StrivingForSleep · 01/04/2025 23:00

Be careful with SENDIASS. Some are good, but some repeat the LA’s unlawful policies.

Moving LAs can be risky. You would have the right of appeal, but the new LA will review the EHCP and potentially propose to amend or even propose to cease to maintain.

0ohLarLar · 01/04/2025 23:01

break out spaces, sensory/quiet areas and a broad curriculum

Common in many mainstream schools.

Tiny classes is probably the only thing state schools can't afford. There will be lower cost ways to achieve some of the outcomes that offers. Headphones to reduce noise, divided spaces (like office cubicles) with a teacher to oversee.

We can't offer a perfect, tailored education to each individual child at state expense.

TooBored1 · 01/04/2025 23:04

Wonderberry · 31/03/2025 19:39

A lot of schools have closed since the VAT. Some may have closed anyway, but it has accelerated the closure rate. It has also meant parents moving kids to state as understandably they cannot afford fees anymore, but there is no space left in the state sector. Lots of state schools are closing too locally.

If state schools are closing, doesn't that mean drop in demand overall in the area?

Not saying it isn't rubbish for you and your daughter though.

StrivingForSleep · 01/04/2025 23:08

No-one gets perfect education. No-one is entitled to receive the best possible education. Headphones help many, but they don’t solve the issue for lots. And they don’t remove other aspects of sensory overwhelm. Cubicles don’t work for many because they don’t solve the wider aspects of sensory overwhelm.

Many state MS, especially primaries, do not have a proper sensory space with the sensory equipment. When they do, they often aren’t quiet. Lots don’t even have a breakout space.

Many state SS do not offer a broad range of academic subjects, so for those unable to access state MS but able to access a broad curriculum, they turn to the independent sector. DC are entitled to a broad and balanced curriculum.

Educationpony · 01/04/2025 23:17

My heart feels for you @Wonderberry - I really hope it works out for you.

My friend’s child is also SEN and ND and she couldnt cope in a MS environment with 20-30 kids - before her diagnosis, she would be so disruptive to everyone in the class as she is super sensitive to noise (to the point she got locked in a room for her parents to get her as the teachers couldn’t cope with her - that’s a different story). I can assure you there was no student doing any learning as the teacher had to deal with this type of situation daily (she wasn’t the only SEN kid) + the 25+ other kids + parents complaining - after she moved to a private (at the parent’s own expense who have had to make huge sacrifices as the council did everything to NOT give them a ECHP despite the overwhelming evidence), she has thrived with a calmer environment and personalised approach.

Regards to VAT, Yes sure some may have closed down anyway but the truth is the tax payers are now picking up the bill for anyone who have moved into the state sector so it’s a double whammy from a cost perspective - simply it’s costing the tax payers more money (and 0 VAT revenue)!!! Money that yes could have gone to fund SEN provisions ironically. It’s not an old argument, it’s the truth! Just going to get worse as less people enter independent schools. It’s the smaller non selective one that will struggle.

Every person’s situation is different so not sure why there are so many judgemental comments in this thread about you being able to use the independent sector and not the MS, you already said you tried MS - good luck OP

Buscake · 01/04/2025 23:18

Get your appeal in pronto. Do not believe the LA re consultations to other schools - you need to appeal to tribunal to get them to focus.

StrivingForSleep · 01/04/2025 23:22

OP can’t appeal at the minute. She doesn’t yet have the right of appeal. In order to get the right of appeal, she needs to force the LA to comply with the overdue AR process.

Sotired222 · 01/04/2025 23:25

StrivingForSleep · 01/04/2025 21:27

@Sotired222 if you don’t want to EHE, you could pursue EOTAS/EOTIS via the EHCP and, if DC is CSA, in the meantime pursue s19 provision.

I tried that but got nowhere. Eventually I had to give up and home educate as it was affecting mine and my DD's mental health too much.

StrivingForSleep · 01/04/2025 23:29

@Sotired222 in the future, if you decide you want to pursue EOTAS/EOTIS, it is still something you could do. Many have to appeal to SENDIST, I’m afraid. I am not saying you have to, just letting you know it is still an option in the future if you change your mind.

Sotired222 · 01/04/2025 23:32

StrivingForSleep · 01/04/2025 23:29

@Sotired222 in the future, if you decide you want to pursue EOTAS/EOTIS, it is still something you could do. Many have to appeal to SENDIST, I’m afraid. I am not saying you have to, just letting you know it is still an option in the future if you change your mind.

Thank you, I really appreciate the information as I didn't know that.

Cannaeberught · 02/04/2025 07:10

EasternStandard · 01/04/2025 22:25

Including the op who can’t get a school place for her dc with SEN?

The OPs school hasn’t suddenly closed because of VAT. And the OPs situation - a genuinely free place for a child where they aren’t paying a penny is very much the exception.

Cannaeberught · 02/04/2025 07:12

TooBored1 · 01/04/2025 23:04

If state schools are closing, doesn't that mean drop in demand overall in the area?

Not saying it isn't rubbish for you and your daughter though.

Demand for places over all IS down. Our birth rate is down, and it isn’t just private schools having to adjust to this.
Our city has had a controversial change in boundaries - with MANY children affected - because less places are needed.

Parsley1234 · 02/04/2025 07:17

Well Phillipson is eagerly making plans to stop parents appealing for an EHCP and taking councils to court she’s a great education minister said no one ever

NoIcantDropthis · 02/04/2025 07:24

Wonderberry · 01/04/2025 22:42

Sadly there is a sizeable minority who seem to have ill will to someone in my situation. I would far rather that my child was in state mainstream, with her siblings. Unfortunately, it is not possible. The state mainstream could not cope with her.

We spent many years there trying,but they eventually asked her to leave. Her dysregulation also meant that it wasn't fair on her peers in the mainstream environment. It wasn't fair on her teachers and TAs either.

No one is best served by keeping children in state mainstream who cannot be educated there. She also learnt absolutely nothing, as she was never able to manage the classroom.

Having a disabled child is hinders life in all aspects. Everything has to be planned around her, and the logistics of her going to a different school to her siblings has been complicated and costly (we do not get transport). As has the therapy and weekly appointments she has required.

Right now, I am really stressed out trying to get her a school place, while trying to parent her and my other children, and work in a really stressful job, as a single parent. I cannot work from home,and would be forced out of work if I cannot secure her a school place.

Please don’t worry , I understand totally.

Sadly there’s a huge amount on here who have some contradictory opinions. They want all the disabled people to be working yet not needing reasonable adjustments or to have any ‘extras’ that co workers don’t. There are also a lot of people who begrudge children the education they rightfully deserve. Yet if children dont get the right education how can they grow up to be these workers that society expects them to be??! Seems all that matters now is whether ‘taxpayers’ deem you to be drain on society or not and they’ll trot out the line ‘it’s not economically sustainable’ like your or your child are just a statistic not a an actual human with needs and if those needs are met - potential .
Flowers

EasternStandard · 02/04/2025 07:36

Cannaeberught · 02/04/2025 07:10

The OPs school hasn’t suddenly closed because of VAT. And the OPs situation - a genuinely free place for a child where they aren’t paying a penny is very much the exception.

Why not due to a 20% tax? How are you so certain?

Sayithowiseeit · 02/04/2025 07:44

Contact your EHCP coordinator, the council have a legal duty to provide education. Especially as the LA have agreed she needs a specialist school.

Tell your coordinator that they need to consult with alternative provisions and the type of provision she needs. If you're local to Suffolk I can help.

Alternative provisions do not have to be a tutor come into the house. My son has alternative provision, he goes to a forest school once a week, and another alternative provision 3 days a week, where they have a base, an outdoor space, they take the kids on a trip every week zoo/castles etc.

You may be told they can only offer 15hrs. This is in correct, they can off 15hrs per provider per week. So you can get a full week timetable by using 2 different providers.

Look at special schools in your area, usually by typing SEND local offer and your area into Google. Choose one that fit your child and ask your EHCP coordinator to consult with them. You can ask them to consult with as many SEN schools as you like, I think we've consulted with around 15. Sometime councils try and say they can only consult with 1.

SelkieSeal · 02/04/2025 07:54

NoIcantDropthis · 02/04/2025 07:24

Please don’t worry , I understand totally.

Sadly there’s a huge amount on here who have some contradictory opinions. They want all the disabled people to be working yet not needing reasonable adjustments or to have any ‘extras’ that co workers don’t. There are also a lot of people who begrudge children the education they rightfully deserve. Yet if children dont get the right education how can they grow up to be these workers that society expects them to be??! Seems all that matters now is whether ‘taxpayers’ deem you to be drain on society or not and they’ll trot out the line ‘it’s not economically sustainable’ like your or your child are just a statistic not a an actual human with needs and if those needs are met - potential .
Flowers

Exactly.

At one point, when DS was really struggling in mainstream (to the point of having suicidal ideation at age eight) I genuinely thought he would be either in prison or dead by 21.

He is now on track to do a full set of GCSEs (and do well in them), go on to take A levels, and we are already thinking ahead to him being able to go to university. There is every chance that with the right support he will be able to forge a great career.

I remember being in a meeting where the phrase "the level of support we are looking at is very expensive" was uttered by someone from the LA SEN team, and DS's dad saying "right well I think you'll find that prison is expensive too". Which of course is true, but it's not coming out of the LA budget so it's not something they really give a shit about! Everything is about short term thinking it seems, nobody stops to think about the real cost (financial and human) of just letting children fail until they become adults and therefore someone else's problem.