To ask for insomnia help before I crack up

[whoknows1230]

I’m in my early 40s and for the last few months have really been struggling with my sleeping.

Take last night as an example. I went to bed around 11, my watch shows that I fell asleep about 11.30pm, I woke up at 3.45am this morning and am still wide awake now, with my alarm due to go off in less then 30 mins. My watch is even saying I wasn't asleep the entire of the time and that I’ve had just 3hrs 40 mins sleep.

I’m irritable and tearful when I’m tired, get easily annoyed with everyone the next day, anlong with tiredness headaches. Each night, annoyed with myself that I can’t fall back asleep and it sets me up for a horrible day. I’m tearful just writing this now as I know no sleep makes me feel awful.

I lie awake for hours thinking and worrying about all sorts of things - work, one DC doing exams this year, another recently diagnosed AuADHD and all the issues that come with those.

Because I can’t switch my brain off I then browse my phone. Sometimes that’ll help me fall asleep but other times, like tonight, it hasn’t.

I’ve tried going to bed earlier (most nights is by 10.30, last night was later than usual), but that doesn’t always help.

I’m assuming it’s peri menopause but can anyone offer advice please? I’m desperate for a good nights sleep. I don’t really want to visit the GP for sleeping tablets as don’t want to feel drowsy in the mornings, especially as one DC often struggles to regulate in the mornings and I need to be on it in order to get everyone to school and work.

Are there any herbal remedies or anything I can buy from Amazon to help me get decent sleep tonight?

CBD oil helps me get back to sleep. I get it from Holland and Barrett. Mine is called Cannaray night. I also listen to podcasts on BBC Sounds. There are a few sleep ones. It's grim though, I sympathise.

I go to bed around 8 now...fall asleep earlier, sleep slightly better...some restless nights still but overall it helps. Give it a try. Medication is the last resort as you will struggle coming around in the morning. Good luck

Go to sleep earlier, much earlier. Do not pick up your phone when you wake up.

When you wake up, daydream about something nice (like winning the lottery, daydream about what you'd do step by step - go into immense detail, starting with receiving the call that you've won and how that may go, visiting a financial adviser, etc) or make up a story in your head (again, with detail. The detail is important).

Don't knock it until you've tried it.

I started to take HRT and my sleep improved massively

I strongly suggest not browsing your phone when you wake up and trying other ways to go back to sleep (in my case I read a book). I leave mine downstairs overnight so I am not tempted!

Meditation helps me.

Sleepeaze - over the counter at Boots. Saved my sanity. Am not drowsy in the morning.

When you wake in the night, get up after 10 minutes, make a drink and read / scroll phone for 45 mins. It helps reset me somehow.

Scrolling my phone kept me awake longer.

When I wake up now I listen to an audiobook and generally fall asleep within 10 mins. Choose an easy listen book. It takes your mind away from all your thoughts and worries without being too stimulating.

Good luck.

HRT helped me massively. Going from 2-4 hours sleep a night to 5-6 most nights.

when I wake up I play mindless games like sudoku or solitaire on my phone to try to switch my mind off.

Melatonin plus magnesium glycinate and a couple of drops of CBD helps me to get better quality sleep. I take it a couple of hours before bed.

9

This video from Mind has some useful tips.

I am not convinced watches help in these circumstances. Obviously it's important to try and get back to sleep and you still need the various options being suggested but the watch will always show you've been in and out of sleep so I don't think adding to your concerns on the basis that you "weren't sleep for the whole time" helps matters.

Are you often an early waker? I do have to just accept that I have to try and be in bed by 10 to make sure I get enough sleep.

Also worth thinking if you're stressed/worried about something. That can cause me to wake easily. I like to put on a low stress audiobook (i.e. non fiction, low volume, soothing voice) if I wake up.

There are a few other options for sleep maintenance insomnia which are described in "why we sleep" which is a great book.

I’ve been there and it’s hell, started around age 39. HRT sorted it for me. Had to go privately initially though. Specialist advised it’s the decreasing progesterone that causes the insomnia. I’m now on Utrogestan tablets (micronised progesterone) and estrogen gel and was back to sleeping through the night within a week, I recommend this to all my friends who are round my age struggling with insomnia good luck xx

Unfortunately, worrying about your lack of sleep contributes to the problem. The one thing I found helpful was listening to audiobooks - not of books I was actually interested in, I just picked free ones and found I was nodding off within twenty minutes. I’ve got a sleep headband that I bought for £18 off Amazon so it’s comfy to wear in bed.

You may well be peri. There’s no point in doing a blood test because your hormones crash around for years - up and down. It’s not linear.

If it’s declining oestrogen (they go on described symptoms rather than blood tests) then topping up your oestrogen will help. Consider a low dose of transdermal HRT.

Cut out ALL caffeine. Our sensitivity to caffeine increases massively in our forties. Cut it ALL out.

Cut out all alcohol for the same reason.

Get outside in daylight every morning for a quick, brisk walk. It’ll set your circadian rhythm.

Take magnesium glycinate at bedtime

Have a good bedtime routine:
Bubble bath
Read in bed (phone downstairs)
Lights out at the same time every night
Alarm at the same time every morning

Poor thing.. I hope things improve

Definitely don’t look wt your phone if you wake - I have a “can’t sleep” non fiction audiobook on the go so I’ll listen to that instead and usually it helps me drop off. I’ve also t started taking magnesium which has helped. It can be hormone/thyroid related so worth speaking to gp.
they say if you’re awake for ten mins then get up to break the cycle of lying there awake. Sometimes I just go look out the window for 5 mins then back into bed. Sometimes people make a hot (non caffeine) drink then go back to bed. I also find switching beds helps
if you have a spare room.

Practice good sleep hygiene. Try magnesium glycinate.

I feel your pain as have also been tossing and turning since 4am despite taking magnesium last night. I am 48 and guess peri menopause.

Every now and then I take boots Sleepeaze, I urge you to get some today. It's same ingredient as nytol (not herbal one) if you can't get to boots. I tend to take half a 50mg one. I will take one tonight after the awful night I have.

I also put radio 5 on or BBC news to try and drift back off easier as no one else in bedroom.

My other problem is when I get in from work today at 5 I will be tired and want a nap which I guess doesn't help but I am knackered.

I'm 50. What works for me is magnesium, good sleep hygiene, a bed time of around 9.30pm and BBC sounds podcasts. Not something I'm going to get drawn into - just background noise.

I've always had trouble sleeping. It's shit.

Cognitive shuffling helps me. Have a google.

I have a nap when I need one and often schedule on in. I find it has absolutely no bearing on how well I sleep at night so I get it while I can!

Agree with everyone saying don't look at your phone, that absolutely won't help. Try and cut all screens at least an hour before bed.

I know you said you don't want sleeping pills but as a chronic insomniac who has tried pretty much every sleeping pill there is I can tell you that hydroxyzine doesn't make me drowsy in the mornings, doesn't give me weird side effects, and isn't addictive (I took for a couple of years, then stopped for months with no issues)

if I really need to sleep I take phenergen which is available over the counter

HRT saved me from chronic insomnia.

All good advice.

If you're in Scotland, OP, Sleepio is free on the NHS.

https://onboarding.sleepio.com/sleepio/nhs/

I found it quite helpful. Various techniques to help you relearn how to sleep, and/or handle less sleep better.