To ask for insomnia help before I crack up

[whoknows1230]

I’m in my early 40s and for the last few months have really been struggling with my sleeping.

Take last night as an example. I went to bed around 11, my watch shows that I fell asleep about 11.30pm, I woke up at 3.45am this morning and am still wide awake now, with my alarm due to go off in less then 30 mins. My watch is even saying I wasn't asleep the entire of the time and that I’ve had just 3hrs 40 mins sleep.

I’m irritable and tearful when I’m tired, get easily annoyed with everyone the next day, anlong with tiredness headaches. Each night, annoyed with myself that I can’t fall back asleep and it sets me up for a horrible day. I’m tearful just writing this now as I know no sleep makes me feel awful.

I lie awake for hours thinking and worrying about all sorts of things - work, one DC doing exams this year, another recently diagnosed AuADHD and all the issues that come with those.

Because I can’t switch my brain off I then browse my phone. Sometimes that’ll help me fall asleep but other times, like tonight, it hasn’t.

I’ve tried going to bed earlier (most nights is by 10.30, last night was later than usual), but that doesn’t always help.

I’m assuming it’s peri menopause but can anyone offer advice please? I’m desperate for a good nights sleep. I don’t really want to visit the GP for sleeping tablets as don’t want to feel drowsy in the mornings, especially as one DC often struggles to regulate in the mornings and I need to be on it in order to get everyone to school and work.

Are there any herbal remedies or anything I can buy from Amazon to help me get decent sleep tonight?

My sleep pattern was very similar to yours. A Snoozeband really helps me when my brain won’t shut down. I also sometimes take a piriton or a blue Nytol.

White chestnut seriously works, I'm not usually into herbal stuff but it's fixed my MIL who's in menopause and me with depression/pregnancy insomnia and 2 other female relatives we recommended to now.
Agree with cutting out ALL caffeine also.

I take CBD - I use capsules so I can more reliably know how much I’ve taken. I get them from Holland and Barratt. It’s made a huge difference. If I wake in the night I take another one. I also listen to sleep meditation/hypnotism and never get to the end as I’m always asleep before that.

I wish you luck OP - insomnia is awful. I hope one of these suggestions will be the right one for you x

Is this a prescription medication?

Don't clock watch (don't check the time when you wake up), it just makes you stressed about how little time you have left to sleep, or how long you've been awake. And don't wear your watch, again you'll just obsess over how much you had what quality of sleep it was.

It is in my country at least, not sure about the UK. It's one of the older antihistamines, in my country usually under the name Atarax.

Insomnia combined with anxiety were the symptoms that made me realise I was perimenopausal. Within a week, maybe two or starting HRT I was sleeping soundly through the night.

I'm 40 and was like you - worsening sleep with earlier rises, until 4 hours sleep became 2, then 90 minutes, then none.

I tried everything - Phenergan, Zopiclone, Nytol, lavender oil, relaxation podcasts, vaping weed, hot baths, melatonin, camomile tea, CBD oil, magnesium. Nothing had any impact at all.

I eventually went to the doctor and was prescribed 15mg of mirtazapine, which has worked. It hasn't given me any side effects at all (although it increases hunger so lots of people gain weight when taking it, but I've not). No idea how long I'll be on it, but I hope I can take it for the foreseeable future as I'm enjoying getting a decent night's sleep!

Sleepeze worked for me after years of dreadful sleep. Wishing you better times, OP. I know how awful it can be.

HRT massively sorted my sleep issues which started fairly suddenly. Like you, feeling knackered, I’d go to bed around 10pm, awake by 1-2am, unable to sleep again and having to go to work shattered.
Id sleep the following night.
There developed a pattern where I could predict which night I’d sleep.( every second night)

Very first day of taking Utrogestan and oestrogen I slept like a baby. On it just under a year now and no sleep issues.

I am menopausal. For you it could be peri.
See your GP.

For me it's a combination of things - HRT to deal with the hormonal element, only having decaf coffee (and only in the mornings), magnesium glycinate in the evening, no scrolling in bed, getting out in the daylight particularly in the morning, being active (but not in the evening), and above all listening to relaxing audio books or sleep podcasts (e.g. Nothing Much Happens) so I can quickly switch my brain into sleep mode and stop my mind racing at 3am. Oh, and it will soon be time to break out the eye mask so light mornings don't wake me.

Thank you so much to everyone for your advice.

I don’t drink any caffeine and don’t drink alcohol regularly, unless I’m meeting up with friends (e.g on Friday night I had three glasses of Prosecco). I don’t really drink at home if it’s just me and DH.

However, I know I don’t help myself with things like the phone scrolling so I need to stop that. I will also stop wearing my watch at night rather than obsessively checking it to see how much time has passed since I last looked at it!

I’m going to go through each post later, make notes and try the different suggestions in turn.
I will make a GP appointment although I imagine it’ll be at least a month until I get one, so plenty of time to try alternatives in the meantime.

https://www.sleepfoundation.org/insomnia/treatment/sleep-restriction-therapy

Might be worth looking into.

Have you tried promethazine? You can buy it on a pharmacy online, doesn’t knock you out just helps

Piriton is your friend. Only thing that works for me. As a one off, take a glug of Night Nurse. It’s amazing for getting one really good night’s sleep.

My gynaecologist told me at an unrelated appointment that the moment a woman over 40 stops sleeping then that's a key indicator of hormones changing. He told me to get help immediately it happened to me.

Fast forward a couple of years after dismissing his comments and it happened coupled with anxiety. Awful time of my life.

I can't take hrt so I was prescribed mirtazapine and overnight I was a new woman.

Listening to an audiobook sends me to sleep if I am struggling, or ASMR videos (not watching them just listening), both quiet my mind so I don't lie there thinking about other things and keeping myself up.

There is also a trick I saw recently that my husband finds helpful, think of a 5 letter word e.g. acorn, for each letter of that word think of something that starts with the same letter and really try to imagine it then move on to the next letter, once you finish the word choose another 5 letter word and start again, it supposedly mimics the randomness of our brains in sleep. So ACORN could be Aardvark Camel Onion Rainbow Neptune, new word BEACH Basketball Elephant Antelope Chair House etc etc.

Sympathies!! I’m going through the same 3/4am wake ups. Wide awake, impossible to go back to sleep.

Day 4 of HRT, so I’m hopeful it works.

I take phenergan/promethazine - it's the only thing that helps for me. I get it on prescription, but you can buy it over the counter too. If I don't take it, within a couple of nights I'm back to that 3am waking.

50mg Boots Sleepeeze, pharmacist recommendation. works for me.

Sleep stories help me like the podcast nothing much happens

Kirkland's Sleep Aid worked extremely well for me - it's powerful stuff! Easy enough to buy online.
Ultimately though, my issues were hormonal and HRT sorted them.

It's horrible and has such an effect on your daily life. I used Nytol when it was at its worst then melatonin patches, but you can't get those in the UK anymore. Currently Magnesium works for me. I use a spray from Harrogate Organics but there are plenty of tablets advertised too.