Page 4 | To go home...FIL just made marmite toast without using any kind of butter 😱

GiraffeCup · 2025-03-30T20:28:12+00:00

Like seriously, he spread marmite in DRY toast. The man is clearly insane and we can't stay here any longer.

Lurkingandlearning · 01/04/2025 06:01

Is this new behaviour? Could it be dementia?

Original poster

GiraffeCup · 01/04/2025 08:20

IhateHPSDeaneCnt · 01/04/2025 02:04

Everyone will now know I have perverted tastes (checks all doors, windows, are locked, hammers in cobbled together shutters). As children, we often had toast with peanut butter however, this was underpinned with slathering of butter followed by generous dollop of Jam - [whisper] Sometimes we'd stick a slice of processed cheese on top and grill until nice, bubbly and brown [Runs away and hides in newly dug bomb shelter]. I couldn't leave without sharing the ultimate gag story [the horror, the horror...]- my eye has started to twitch already. . . We had lovely neighbours and I was whinging about how long it was taking to fix the overhead grill and I really missed cheese on toast. He appeared shortly after with a lovely ovenproof dish showcasing yummy cheese on toast - still bubbling! I bit into a piece only to gag at the copious amount of margarine that hit my palate - which he'd spread generously under the good Cheddar cheese before toasting. I wouldn't want him to go to Jail but perhaps a stiff fine and made to attend home economics class from ye olde days? My eye is still twitching at the memory and reflux emerging. Bleurghh. Hold my hand people.

Id have got that cheese on toast incident logged with the police... Would have probably been the final puzzle piece they needed to solve the strange incidents of gross food related incidents leading to bizarre behaviour that had plagued the area

OP posts:

AlteredStater · 01/04/2025 08:27

I started refusing butter on bread or toast as a young child and won't eat anything with butter on it now. So yes, marmite would go straight on toast.

StartAnew · 01/04/2025 08:29

Pretend you are going to fetch something from the car and do a runner. Nobody who eats dry toast with marmite can be a safe person to stay with.

RunAwayNow · 01/04/2025 08:53

Butter under Marmite ruins the taste. I will die on this hill.

Original poster

GiraffeCup · 01/04/2025 11:09

RunAwayNow · 01/04/2025 08:53

Butter under Marmite ruins the taste. I will die on this hill.

you won't reach the hill ... saying things like that in public?? You're gonna be kidnapped by some chaps in a unmarked white van and taken to a Marmite on toast re-education camp

OP posts:

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 01/04/2025 11:36

IhateHPSDeaneCnt · 01/04/2025 02:04

Everyone will now know I have perverted tastes (checks all doors, windows, are locked, hammers in cobbled together shutters). As children, we often had toast with peanut butter however, this was underpinned with slathering of butter followed by generous dollop of Jam - [whisper] Sometimes we'd stick a slice of processed cheese on top and grill until nice, bubbly and brown [Runs away and hides in newly dug bomb shelter]. I couldn't leave without sharing the ultimate gag story [the horror, the horror...]- my eye has started to twitch already. . . We had lovely neighbours and I was whinging about how long it was taking to fix the overhead grill and I really missed cheese on toast. He appeared shortly after with a lovely ovenproof dish showcasing yummy cheese on toast - still bubbling! I bit into a piece only to gag at the copious amount of margarine that hit my palate - which he'd spread generously under the good Cheddar cheese before toasting. I wouldn't want him to go to Jail but perhaps a stiff fine and made to attend home economics class from ye olde days? My eye is still twitching at the memory and reflux emerging. Bleurghh. Hold my hand people.

My mum used to make my cheese sandwiches, for my school lunch, with Stork Superblend margarine, @IhateHPSDeaneCnt. It was vile - even worse than Flora. And what made it even more unpalatable was knowing mum was at home making her sandwich with a thick layer of Lurpak, but dsis and I didn't deserve something decent.