To be a bit shocked at RSVP time frame?

51 replies

Ohioatdawn · 29/03/2025 21:51

I'm a bit taken aback.
DS is in year 8.
He has made a new friend at school recently who he really likes.
Yesterday at school, the new friend invited him to his birthday party which is in 2 months' time.
DS told his friend it sounds good and that he'd ask me and then let the friend know.
I was at work when DS got home from school yesterday and I worked all evening, didn't get home till after DS had gone to bed. I then went to work again first thing this morning and left before DS had woken up.
I got home this afternoon.
So DS couldn't ask me about it until this afternoon when I got back.
DS was really excited and said "Guess what, yesterday at school Michael invited me to his birthday party, it's in 2 months, it sounds really cool, he's going to x y z and it's on X date, he's invited me, Christopher and Josh. Can I go? I said I'd text him after I'd asked you".
Christopher and Josh are 2 of DS's best friends. The new boy has made friends with DS and his 2 friends.
DS wanted to check with me first, as he'd remembered that we had something already arranged for that particular weekend as it's a BH weekend, but he couldn't remember which day.
I checked the date then said yes, of course you can go.
DS texted the friend straight away to tell him yes he can come.
24 hours after being invited.
His friend texted back and said "You can't come now, my mum said you took too long to reply, she's booked it now and didn't book a place for you because you hadn't got back to me in time".
But he only asked DS yesterday.
And DS texted him to say yes at 3pm today.
Is this normal to expect an immediate reply? Within less than 24 hours?
DS is completely gutted. He was so happy to receive this invite!

OP posts:

LadyIce2 · 01/04/2025 13:09

Ohioatdawn · 31/03/2025 21:03

Birthday boy has now said to DS that he called him twice on Friday evening (the same day he'd invited him) to tell DS that his mum was booking the party and needed to know there and then.
DS completely missed his calls. But we've checked this evening on his phone, and sure enough there are 2 missed calls from birthday boy on Friday evening (the same day he'd invited him earlier on at school). DS didn't realise he'd called, didn't see any missed call logged.
So this makes me think the boy isn't deliberately trying to exclude DS.
TBH wouldn't he have just not invited him in the first place if he didn't want him there?
I can't text the mum as I have no idea who she is. I don't even know the boy. It's secondary school. They live in a different area to us and the boy gets a bus in to school by himself. There's no school run at secondary school, no exposure to other parents, no way of knowing who other mums are! DS and this boy only became friends in September when they met at school.

Glad to hear that it does seem to be a case of bad organisation on the boy's part and that he did try to get in contact with your son.

It's not uncommon for somebody to be part of a friendship group where some of the people would not be people they choose to be friends with and would really be a friend of a friend, but by not inviting the whole group, they will look unkind and therefore they invite them to save face.

Happily he does seem to have made a proper effort in this case.

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