Would this annoy your husband?

[Londs]

So dh was off today. He woke up and prepped his incredible chilli. Genuinely famous in our family. I tasted it in the afternoon and it was mind blowing. When it came around to serving it had an awful uncooked cinnamon flavour. I like cinnamon but not when it’s the dominant flavour. I don’t really like sweet mains either. I never eat anything sweet annd sour annd hate dried fruit in a savoury dish. All the kids still liked it. Dh said too much had come out the bottle. I told dh if he didn’t mind I would not have any as it really was not to my taste now. And I would make some beans on toast.

i am on a diet and for me the calories in the sour cream, cheese, guacamole, rice etc just wasn’t justifiable with the cinnamon after taste which was really unpleasant to me.

Anyway, dh was just a little bit huffy and I called him out for it. Apparently I was being childish and picky.

Who is in the wrong?

Well no, but he was a controlling horrible man who got a kick out of it. My DH is a kind, caring man who likes to cook. If something was not quite to my taste I would eat it as I wouldn’t want him to feel bad.(Obviously if it was disgusting I wouldn’t eat it! ) Hopefully you can see the difference.

Wtf would he.call you childish and picky for not liking something?!

My husband would never say that.

I would of had a small portion just to appease him, and would have said that it was so good, you had a lot of it earlier and now you were too full. There are kinder ways of handling these things.

You haven't got a leg to stand on now if one of the kids wants beans in toast instead of what you have prepared! 🤣

I can see where you are coming from, but I wouldn't have done it in front of them if you expect the kids to do the same.

We make things the kids all like. If I added too much cayenne I would absolutely allow my kids to eat eggs on toast for dinner

I don’t think it’s unreasonable for him to be upset you didn’t like it but he shouldn’t expect you to eat it either. I would never expect my husband or my children to eat something they didn’t like. It’s weird and controlling.

I also think it matters how you decline it. If your childish and make a scene then fair enough YABU but I don’t see the issue with politely declining something. Saying ‘I’m really sorry, it’s a bit too strong/salty/sweet for me is fine. Hubby and I have done it many times over the years. Sometimes it’s salvaged by one of us saying I think I’m going to add a bit of ‘XYZ’ to mine. Other times it’s a case of that dish isn’t for me.

He made his famous chilli, you made yourself beans on toast. I would have just ate it. The guacamole, crème fresh is irrelevant as you would have always eaten those aspects. It teaches the children…Don’t like it? Fine, we’ll make you a second dinner. What if the kids had not wanted it either?

It was just not as nice as usual I'd just eat it, but if I found it really awful, I wouldn't.

He knows he cocked up putting too much cinnamon in (why he didn't just take a spoonful out where the cinnamon was God only knows), so I can hardly be surprised you didn't like it.

I guess if he felt it was different but not awful. You not eating it might be did seem a bit childish to him?!

If you weren't on a diet, would you have just eaten it?

I like whatever diet you're on that means beans on toast is a good option🤣🤣

YABU to “call him out” on being “a little bit huffy”.

You kids appeared to have better manners/be less picky than you, no?

Anyway - you didn’t want to “force it down”, he was disappointed.

Does it really matter??

My husband is also famous for his chilli and also fucked it up recently. We went to eat it and realised he'd used garam masala instead of cumin.

I declined. And enjoyed it the next time he made it!

No fuss was made by him.

I would have added another beef stock cube and another chili and got through it, personally. Because I hate waste and also because it's a solidarity thing. I wouldn't bail on a meal someone made me unless it made me dry heave at the table.

This ^

I told dh if he didn’t mind I would not have any as it really was not to my taste now.

I can't see what the problem with that is at all.

From his reaction you'd think that you'd spat it out & shouted "bloody hell what did you do to it?"

I’m just making sure I’m in a calorie deficit. Beans on toast is a filling, quick meal and not the worst thing on planet Earth to eat. 540 calories. I aim for 500 calories with each meal. Pull back on the next meal if I have over done it.

Not U not to eat something you didn't like. Not U for someone to be upset you won't eat the food they cooked. U to prolong the upset to huff level. U to escalate things further by 'calling it out'. When you live with someone and intend that to be the case for a lifetime, its really a lot less hassle to shrug and ignore the odd piece of less than perfect behaviour, as long as its the exception rather than the rule. Calling everything out is not really necessary and tends to escalate a few minutes of irritation to an unpleasant row. I'd like to think I can have a little huff now and again in the context of me being a generally decent partner without having to sit through a 'calling out' from DP.

No, my partner wouldn’t be annoyed at me for not eating something that I didn’t like, because he’s not an unreasonable person. He might be disappointed at the situation, but he’d know that it’s not a big deal and move on. He would offer to make me something nicer than beans on toast.

Being precious about his famous chilli and then taking it personally if I didn’t want to eat it would give me the famous ick. What a prat. Tell him to snap out of his mood and grow up.

He admits he added too much cinnamon when making it so why be annoyed at you for not eating it? I don’t think you were the one being childish! I wouldn’t have eaten it if I didn’t like it either, counting calories or not.

I do feel for him if the cinnamon rushed out and spoiled his fantastic chili, but if you're cooking for people, their enjoyment should be at the forefront of your mind. Occasionally I'll make something the my DD and I think is fabulous but DH really isn't keen. I'm always happy for him to make himself a nice sandwich or whatever he might fancy instead. Same with our daughter: if she doesn't like it, I don't make her eat it. Why be cross and want someone to eat something they won't enjoy?
I'm on your side OP!

I have to eat low-carb for a health issue, so beans on toast is a bit of a dream meal!!

Still, if it works for what you're doing great!!

Best of luck

<Misses point> Cinnamon is kind of peppery and a little is delicious in meat dishes.

And if it was reversed the op would be told her husband should have got on and ate it because a million reasons why it only works one way

Rubbish.

You're an adult - you don't have to eat food that you don't like!

I think you were pretty rude to be honest. What would you have done if it was a friend cooking for you and not your DH?

It was a one off, so being an adult I’d just suck it up for one meal - it’s not like he always puts too much cinnamon in, so it’ll be fine next time.