Would this annoy your husband?

[Londs]

So dh was off today. He woke up and prepped his incredible chilli. Genuinely famous in our family. I tasted it in the afternoon and it was mind blowing. When it came around to serving it had an awful uncooked cinnamon flavour. I like cinnamon but not when it’s the dominant flavour. I don’t really like sweet mains either. I never eat anything sweet annd sour annd hate dried fruit in a savoury dish. All the kids still liked it. Dh said too much had come out the bottle. I told dh if he didn’t mind I would not have any as it really was not to my taste now. And I would make some beans on toast.

i am on a diet and for me the calories in the sour cream, cheese, guacamole, rice etc just wasn’t justifiable with the cinnamon after taste which was really unpleasant to me.

Anyway, dh was just a little bit huffy and I called him out for it. Apparently I was being childish and picky.

Who is in the wrong?

Why on earth should she eat something she doesn’t like just to stroke his ego? It really seems to be men who make a big deal out of being able to cook one thing really well-often as a way of deflecting from the fact that someone else does all the other cooking! And if it was close enough to be ready for the OP to taste and approve earlier, why is he adding spices at that stage? Of course the cinnamon is going to be raw tasting. The normal response would be “I’m sorry, babe-I screwed up the spicing-would you like an omlette/beans on toast/some other quickly prepared alternative dinner? I’ll get it while you open sone more wine”

Why is he tipping it straight from the bottle? That’s just dim.

Well no wonder there are “plenty of times” your DH is cooking questionable food then. How is he going to improve if you’re not honest?

Is everyone just fibbing to their other half that they like their food, even if they don’t?

Did you do this in front of the DC? How would you have liked him to handle this situation if the roles were reversed, and how did you approach today fit with that?

I don’t eat food I don’t like, I’m wouldn’t force food down to appease someone’s ego nor would I expect anyone to eat something I cooked that they didn’t like. I couldn’t imagine anything worse than eating chilli tasting of cinnamon. You were polite OP saying it wasn’t to your taste, it’s not like you screwed your face up and spat it out.

No way I would have eaten it. Dh needs to grow up!

It is what it is 🤷🏼‍♀️
I am the primary cook so I have no issue with an occasional questionable meal (when I say plenty, I’m taking about the span of about 10y). It’s just nice to be nice but that’s just me.

Couldn't you just have had a small portion

I can see both sides. I get annoyed if I put effort into cooking and nobody eats it. It’s a bit rude. Equally you are at liberty to eat what you want. Hopefully it won’t blow up into something big.

People have minor arguments about shit like this. It’s quite normal.

No he wouldn’t be in a huff. If he was I would probably get a mild ick, you’re not getting any tonight if you’re kicking off over some chili. People are dying.

WTF is cinnamon doing in a chilli?

You were not being unreasonable, but a little huff from him is understandable. In my experience people who take a pride in their cooking would be disappointed if the dish was rejected. It doesn’t have to be logical, it’s an emotional response. My husband is a fabulous cook and also a very easy going man. I once mentioned that a dish he had made tasted different to the previous time he made it. He asked if that meant it wasn’t a good. I said that was the case, but it was still good. He went quiet and into a small huff. It didn’t last long. It seems to be like criticising someone’s driving.

If someone’s gone to the trouble of cooking for you, then you jolly well eat it.

I would have eaten it. As would my DH if I had made it. It’s just good manners and being appreciative of the effort someone has put in. You could have had a smaller portion.

Anyway it’s done now. You’ve obviously hurt his feelings a bit so maybe just tell him you appreciate the effort he went to. As it sounds like he did go to a lot of effort. It doesn’t really matter who is right or wrong. There is no right or wrong really. But if it were me, I’d do or say something to make him feel a bit more appreciated.

In my Nigella book she uses cinnamon

And she proudly bakes cakes that sink.

My DH cooks for me every night, as my disability stops me doing it myself. On the odd occasion that something isn't quite right for me, I feel I owe it to him, and to myself, to be honest, as if I eat something I'm not keen on and then say it's lovely, he'll only do it again, which is ridiculous.

However, one night he was running late, and decided to do a freezer meal that he'd picked up. I started to eat it, and in all honesty it was VILE!! It was so revolting that I said 'OMG this is the worst meal you've ever dished up'. He went mad at me telling me how ungrateful I was, until I pointed out, that he hadn't actually made the meal, it was made by someone else, and all he'd done was put it in the oven and dished it up. He was still a bit sore for a little while, but we often laugh about it now, because having tasted it himself, he agreed, and tipped it straight in the bin. I just wished, he'd been the first one to taste it, as then I wouldn't have been the one to say how awful it was. I ALWAYS make a point of telling him how much I appreciate the effort he's gone to though, as I know how important it is to feel appreciated, but I'm not going to eat something that tastes disgusting, just to sooth his ego, and he wouldn't expect me to.

These things happen. One of my dc hates cinnamon in chili, his old roomie used to make it that way. Your dp will be more careful next time. Everybody makes a mistake sometime.

My husband's been getting into cooking more and more over the last few years, and I've been encouraging him with it. He always asks for feedback as I am a good cook. He will be disappointed - with himself - when it's not as nice as he was hoping for, and that's OK. I will tell him where things might have gone wrong or where he might want to adjust something for next time. He takes notes and is comfortable enough to ask for more tips. Basically, we talk about it like adults.

So I don't think OP has done anything wrong, she wasn't rude about it, her husband acknowledged the mistake in his cooking. It's not like she shat on his hard work and had a tantrum about having to make an alternative meal for herself.

@hby9628yes it is - I use a small amount when I make it (Nigella’s recipe).
OP, my DH used to make a bolognese that I found needed something (ketchup believe it or not). He was a great cook but this one dish … he was kinda put out so I’d sneak it on to my plate when he wasn’t looking!

Because having one rule for this for the adults and another for the kids is hypocritical. Parents need to set the example for kids to follow

Makes me chuckle that in the house, everyone has to have the same but go out to eat, it's weird if everyone has the same.

I would not eat a meal that had a strong flavour that I didn’t like. I wouldn’t expect my children to either.

I had a controlling ex who once tipped too much salt in mashed potato’s.

And I mean a lot of salt, you could barely taste the potato - it was gritty and disgusting.

I couldn’t eat it and he went in a bad mood and accused me of being a drama queen/ungrateful etc

He even said I was a rubbish cook!

From some of of the comments on here I’m wondering if I should have kept quiet and ate them like a good girl 🤣🤣🤣

He would be disappointed but not annoyed per se. Like you lm trying to lose weight and that would mean l definitely wouldn't eat something l don't like.