Mother's Day - AIBU

[TheLionKing1993]

So let me just start by saying I am not expecting to be showered in gifts or meal out etc. I just would like to feel appreciated haha ☺️

However I've had DH arguing with me for wanting to do Mothers Day

Every Father's Day I go to a lot of effort for him, I make a hamper full of little bits and get the kids to take part with me. I make sure he gets time to himself to relax, and try make the day special to show how much we appreciate him.

Anyway, this morning I reminded him that if he wanted to order a card from Moonpig today would be the cut off date (I reminded him as he has been saying over the past couple of days that he keeps forgetting otherwise I wouldn't have said anything)

I was greeted with him getting angry about it. Yep, Mother's day is about the relationship between the child and their mother but isn't it the father's job is to encourage/assist the child when they're younger?
It really doesn't cost anything to show you are appreciated, right?

Anyway, he said to me "I can't do anything because I've got a lead up my ar$e. I don't have time like you do to get anything, I always have to work and then spend time with DD and then you. I never get a minute to breathe to do anything" 😆 Err ... What?

AIBU to feel a little upset? Or am I just being overly sensitive?

Thanks ☺️

Disagree. A nice man would say 'I've got it all covered darling we're going to have a lovely day for you what would you like
For your breakfast in bed?'

It's a Christian holiday mothering Sunday that's been celebrated for hundreds of years

Op yabu for agreeing to be the person that reminds someone when they say remind me, adults need their own system for remembering things

I reminded him as he has been saying over the past couple of days that he keeps forgetting otherwise I wouldn't have said anything.

To be honest if my DH kept saying this and asked me to remind him, I'd refuse to do it and I'd tell him so, why did you entertain this and keep reminding him.. he has took what should be a simple task and made it your responsibility to remind him to do it.. and got angry with you over it.

I also don't think you are doing him any favours by doing all that stuff for him on fathers day, it is setting the bar really high for him to reciprocate, and it doesn't sound like he is 'that guy' that would, so you are setting yourself up for disappointment, just dial it back next time, do something from the kids that is a bit more organically from them. Help them buy a card and pick out a chocolate bar for him etc.

Blokes like this piss me off though, because they have literally months and months to sort out things like this, and get angry and shift blame when they've done absolutely fuck all about it.

You expect a 3 year old to be able to make a card with no help from an adult?!??

it literally says.. 'with help from an adult'

If very young, I'd expect your DH to help with this.

Hamper full of little bits of what?

And does he actually want and appreciate them, whatever they are?

Regardless, reminding him of last postage day for Moonlig is just madness.

Who would actually want a card they’ve had to nag somebody to buy like that? You’d be as well just sending it yourself. Honestly, what is the point?

I wouldn’t be bothering about a card, just do nothing for Fathers Day.

If he’s a crap husband in other ways then tackle those issues, but I don’t think an over commercialised holiday is the way to go about it.

Mother’s Day now is a far cry from the original Mothering Sunday.

It is very much commercialised.

Agh, why are so many people saying to do the same on Father's Day?
My kids are teens now, but I'm still expecting some sort of acknowledgement and (even if they're out), I'll still be having a movie afternoon with DH and fizz.
DH and I aren't lovey dovey etc, but bloody hell we're on the same page re respect and putting in some appreciation of what weve done for our kids, and some celebration of getting through it all.

I want two days of the year to be relaxing and a bit of spoiling and appreciation. 0.5% of the year to be a vague thank-you for all the shit we've gone through, and an actual day to focus on the positives etc? Seems minimal effort yet extremely appreciated.

I don't want it to be an effort for my spouse to even fucking remember, and then I retaliate When he forgets. Grim.

@Unexpectedlysinglemum - but it's no longer Mothering Sunday is it? It's an opportunity to hike up prices.

Quite. He isnt interested though. He probably isn't going to miss the father’s day hamper. but i would match the energy. But again it wont matter

mumsnet is a wierd place to aay your dh is being shit about mothers day, your birthday, Christmas etc as so many women on here are competitively against any sort of acknowledgement id adults in celebratory ways. But you are not being unreasonable.

I have 2 children who have been 3 year olds who both managed this.

I mean DS's card was a piece of paper with a scribble on and DD's was one where she'd put some stickers on a section of cereal box that she'd taken out of the recyling bin and written "Mummy" on - but they were both "cards" in my eyes.

I accept we were a house where age appropriate craft material was permanently available for the DC to use. If your child doesn't even have access to paper and crayons, then, yes, it's harder.

Most 3 year olds also go to some sort of nursery or pre-school and have likely made a card there.