How to wake up in the morning before baby?

[Bellzy]

My baby is 5 months, waking every couple of hours. We are safely cosleeping so wakes often just consist of putting a boob in his mouth!

Toddler wakes 2-3 times a night.

I need to get up earlier than baby/toddler in order to get myself ready for the day. When I don't, we're all late.. DH late for work, toddler misses breakfast at nursery, I don't get to shower, baby often goes out in PJ's :/

I just can't seem to get up (alarms get snoozed etc) and then feel bad all day.

AIBU?
Yes: I'm lazy and need tough love- just get up!
No: It's hard, be kind to yourself and find work arounds, eg shower at night.

Practical advice and strong, encouraging words of wisdom appreciated!!

Why is your DH late for work if you don't get up before the baby/toddler wakes?

Totally missing the point of why you not getting up before baby makes the entire household late? What is the other parent doing?

It sounds like you really need the sleep. Can’t your DH get up and get the toddler dressed etc?

You need your sleep too

It sounds like you need sleep at this stage! If toddler is having breakfast at nursery, can you not just throw some clothes on for the nursery run and then get ready properly when you get back? It won’t be long before the phase changes again and you can adjust the morning routine.

DH needs no get up and sort out toddler surely?

You don't. You're only 5 months pp FFS and not getting any decent chunk of sleep!

Your HUSBAND needs to wake up before the toddler, get himself ready, then give the toddler breakfast, get them dressed and to nursery while you and the baby get some much needed sleep.

Why isn’t your partner putting an alarm on and taking complete ownership of getting toddler ready for the day?

So you have a baby- on mat leave? Presumably not having to get up for work? And a toddler in nursery. Where presumably late isn’t a real issue.

plus a dh who works.

so:

dh gets up and goes to work.

what happens if you don’t shower or dress the baby, but get up and take the toddler in for breakfast. Shower and dress toddler when you’re back home.
or alternatively, get up and dressed in your own time. If toddler misses breakfast, so what? Give him a cereal bar or some toast and go in after.

unless you have to be in work after dropping toddler and baby off sounds like you’re making life hard for yourself.

if you are working dh needs to be up and getting toddler dressed and ready while you shower etc, and taking his turn at dropping them off.

Does DH get up when the toddler wakes in the night? That's how we did it.

Currently struggling with the same thing! I’m tired with baby waking through the night so don’t want to get up early (plus she is waking for the day any time from 6am) but when I do get up with the baby and toddler, the morning is stressful! Sounds like you are not getting much support from your husband though. Mine currently gets up with toddler and gets her fed and dressed before he goes to work at 7:30am while I deal with baby. Toddler doesn’t really wake at night any more but the agreement is that he will deal with her if she does.
i keep telling myself that the baby will be sleeping through soon then I will be more inclined to wake up earlier - everything is a phase!

No, find other shortcuts, and make sure your husband is doing his share of the wakings and morning stuff.

Sleeping separately was essential for us at this age so DH could get a few hours in and then take his turn early morning. That couple of hours I got 5-7am made a big difference.

How much sleep are you getting? You need sleep too, DH can wake to help in the morning. Its fine if your baby needs to go out in PJs.

On a practical note, I was back working full-time when my baby was 5 months. I had to put the alarm on the other side of the room to force myself out of bed, then right into the shower 😆 i'm just not sure that's what needs to happen here though

Where’s your DH in all this? Why is he not doing more considering you’re awake half the night?

Who deals with the toddler’s night wakes? Showering in the evening is a strategy that does work for me as then you can just throw clothes on and be out of the door. Equally, the baby will be fine in their cot/bouncer in the bathroom while you get showered after nursery drop off. Also having the nursery bag ready to go the night before helps a lot. Option b is to sleep in and have your partner get the toddler ready for nursery (personally I would go for this option!)

I am with Pp why does the house fall apart because you are not ready? You sound exhausted and probably need the sleep more than a shower first thing.

Definitely shower at night - I have done since I had my first child. Lay everything else out (bags, shoes, jackets, breakfast dishes, outfits) the night before. Recruit DH's help with some of this prep plus some of the morning rush if possible (unfortunately mine leaves before any of us are up so I have the chaos to myself).

Then you can still aim to wake before the baby but not quite so early maybe? I find that even 10 minutes before lets me brush my teeth, wash my face, make a coffee, get dressed. I do hair and make up next to them while they eat breakfast. A loud alarm, multiple alarms, a sunrise clock and alarms out of arms reach are all things that have helped me (not necessarily all at once)!

I have new problems now in that the youngest is now in my bed, cuddling me, so if I try to get up then they wake up screaming, so I'm back to square one of figuring it out!

Be kind to yourself, you need sleep!

Divide and conquer.

DH gets toddler ready while you sort baby, or shower. Sometimes my husband just takes our 1yo in the shower with him to keep him occupied as he screams when put down while we get ready! DH often does drop off on way to work I do pick up.

It doesn’t matter if baby goes out in PJs. Baby clothes all look a bit like PJ’s! Mine were often in onesies all the time until 6mo ish as they are more comfy!

Safely co-sleeping is a misnomer. It isn't possible to bedshare in a way that is as safe as your baby sleeping alone, in a clear cot/Moses basket, on their backs.

Needed to point that out in case other new parents see the thread and misunderstand. There is no way to safely bedshare. Bedsharing costs lives.

Regardless, you're 5m PP, you still have a very young baby plus a toddler, you clearly need the sleep and rest. How early do you go to bed? Going to bed earlier is a way to ensure you get as much sleep as possible even with waking throughout the night. You might be able to wake up more easily.

Just going to pop a link to the Safe Sleep 7 to counteract the scaremongering.

Just to say what worked for us when we had 2 under 3.
DH got up and read DS a story while I fed baby. I dressed DS while DH showered and dressed then he fed toddler and minded baby while I showered and dressed. I had a personal thing that he didn't leave for work until I had had 20 minutes to sort myself out. That is just me

sigh

If people choose to disregard safe sleep guidance that is their choice and they and their baby assume that risk, they deserve to make an informed decision and not have the very real risks of bedsharing be handwaved away as 'scaremongering'.

More than 69% of all sleep-related infant deaths are associated with bed-sharing.

http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/134/2/e406

http://bmjopen.bmj.com/cgi/pmidlookup?view=long&pmid=23793691

The most conservative estimate shows that the risk of suffocation is 20X higher when infants sleep in adult beds instead of on cribs.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/14523181/

Even absent all other risk factors and done "safely", bed-sharing nearly TRIPLES the risk of SIDS, plus adds new risks for other types of sleep-related infant death, including suffocation, strangulation, etc. This study used data from 1472 SIDS cases, 4679 controls, 19 studies in U.K., Europe and Australasia

http://bmjopen.bmj.com/content/3/5/e002299.long
(This study specifically separates bed-sharing from couch-sharing and other places, all bed-sharing deaths were in the parents' bed.)

Bed sharing for sleep when the parents do not smoke or take alcohol or drugs increases the risk of SIDS. Risks associated with bed sharing are greatly increased when combined with parental smoking, maternal alcohol consumption and/or drug use. A substantial reduction of SIDS rates could be achieved if parents avoided bed sharing.

http://bmjopen.bmj.com/content/3/5/e002299.long

This.

Sigh? Really? We’re passively aggressively sighing at this?

I assume you’re aware that, according to a recent survey, that around 90% of parents co-sleep. Therefore it’s worthwhile sharing information on how to do it safely. And this is not the point of thread. Tell your self-righteous posturing elsewhere.