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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if it’s worth watching Adolescence ?

162 replies

CalmingInfluence · 27/03/2025 07:28

Everyone’s raving about it

I don’t even have a Netflix account atm

OP posts:
LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 27/03/2025 09:29

CalmingInfluence · 27/03/2025 07:28

Everyone’s raving about it

I don’t even have a Netflix account atm

I wouldn't bother subscribing to Netflix purely to watch just this. A pp gave a good summary...

@Abstracts · Today 07:31

If you enjoy slightly overblown stage-school type acting.

episode 1 absorbing
2 boring
3 mildly interesting but like watching GCSE drama students
4 dull as dishwasher

This. ^

I am amazed at the volume of praise and how obsessed some people seem to be, and how many are raving about how amazing it is.

The actual content is good/interesting yes, but it's pretty long winded and boring, with reeeeeeeeeeeeaaaalllly long drawn-out scenes. Like a few others here, I found the one-take, 'one-camera throughout' thing odd and distracting. Some decent acting though, and I do like Stephen Graham. Though I agree he is a little bit of a one trick pony.

If you're getting FOMO then just get Netflix for a month - there is loads more stuff to watch on there too. It won't be a waste of money. You can get the package with ads for £5.99. And there are hardly any ads.

MoMhathair · 27/03/2025 09:29

I thought it was very badly written.

(Potential spoilers). In the opening episode the police entered the house and said the boy was accused of murder. The parents said 'he didn't do anything' (understandably) but they never once asked who had been murdered. That is such bad writing - if police came in and told you there'd been a murder in the local area (so close your child could be involved) one of the main things you'd want to know is who died. It could be someone you know well, or even a family member. No one ever once wondered or questioned who might be dead until it was revealed in the police interview. Such a glaring mistake.

In the second episode two police officers were standing very close to the scene of an assault and they did nothing. At the very least they would be key witnesses in a future investigation, but beyond that they are trained to step in and deal with situations like that - instead the teachers had to do it and they just stood around like it was none of their business.
Also, a real school would be closed if one of the pupils had been murdered - or at least they certainly would not be carrying on lessons as if nothing had happened. The children and teachers would be distraught. I had the misfortune of teaching in a school where a child died by natural causes and the next week or so was a complete write off - children were absent, teachers burst into tears at the meerest provocation, parents kept visiting because they felt so lost. The child's class just sat and talked for days. In a violent situation like this, there would be counsellors on site and a far greater number of police, partly because it wouldn't yet be clear that this was an isolated incident - other attacks could happen. Instead of speaking to classes individually, the police would bring everyone together in the hall and speak to everyone at once. Their aim would be to jog the memory of potential witnesses or anyone who could give them important information - literally anyone in the school could be a key part of the case. It was bizarre when the detective just walked off and had chips with his son - I know the point that they were trying to make but a detective would never do that at such a crucial point in a case. It was in no way finished.

A forensic psychologist (which I assume the person in the third episode was supposed to be) would never give a hot drink to anyone in a secure unit when there was high potential to piss them off. Asking for facial burns. A forensic psychologist would also have dealt with serious gangland thugs. A 13 year old screaming at her would have been upsetting but not scary.

I thought the final episode was interesting but maybe not entirely in the way it was intended. It seemed to imply that the family was happier without Jamie and that they'd distanced himself from him, that they mostly felt anger and disappointment rather than a sense of loss. That would be an interesting storyline to pursue - it was hinted at in previous episodes that Jamie felt rejected by his dad and it would be very interesting to see how the subtle rejections (and maybe the sense that they loved the daughter more) led to his anger and lashing out.

I don't know why people go about about the social media aspect of this story - it barely features. The emojis are mentioned but to my mind that's not much different than passing notes to bully someone - the method is different but the result is the same. From what the parents said Jamie was low-level neglected, made to feel not good enough by his family and then felt rejected by the girl. The manosphere may have played a part but that wasn't well articulated at all.

As others have pointed out, the girl is just a picture. Her friend was well portrayed - the sense of loss there was realistic - but apart from the stack of flowers at the crime scene there was very little sense of mourning a real person.

CalmingInfluence · 27/03/2025 09:30

EmeraldShamrock000 · 27/03/2025 09:24

@CalmingInfluence I understand abuse happens in MC families, this wasn't the case, these parents were horrified, had strong connections to the community.

These were confident lads, top of the popular league at friendships, sports, academically, he did not want a nerd fancying him.

They lied for days, leaving her body to rot.
Boy A was highly intelligent, boy B admitted they planned the murder with their kill kit, including masks.

The abuse these lads received was online.

This is awful

My parents also had strong connections to the community … but I think they thought the had the profile of Charles and Di, or Posh and Becks iyswim … even though they were professionally successful- no one gave that much of a sh*T about them

looking back my parents were both immature and neglectful - mum was a violent, emotionally abusive alcohol

OP posts:
CalmingInfluence · 27/03/2025 09:30

Alcoholic *

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Abstracts · 27/03/2025 09:32

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Abstracts · 27/03/2025 09:34

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crumblingschools · 27/03/2025 09:35

@LadyTangerine you don’t think bullying and coercion doesn’t happen in respect of nude photos amongst teens?

I think the good thing about this programme is that it has got people talking. Posters can say that they knew about Andrew Tate, made sure parental controls on phones etc so don’t need to be told about these things.

But misogny is a huge issue in Secondary schools and horrifyingly becoming more prevalent in Primaries. We cannot ignore this. If so many parents are aware, talking to their DC, putting controls on phones etc, why is it such a huge issue and growing? These boys are not just ones being dragged up by dysfunctional families, the numbers are too great.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 27/03/2025 09:38

@CalmingInfluence I'm sorry that happened to you.

It isn’t the case for these boys. I won't go into details about the parents, I know they are good people.

crumblingschools · 27/03/2025 09:44

Also many posters have said the behaviour of the students shown in the school was unrealistic. For many schools that is actually their reality or indeed tamer than what they see every day. Not all schools but many schools. Again this isn’t just down to dysfunctional families

CurlewKate · 27/03/2025 09:46

But to answer the original question -if you want to be informed about what is, and should be a significant national conversation, then yes, it is “worth watching”.

StarDolphins · 27/03/2025 09:48

I absolutely loved it and I’m glad it’s been done to raise awareness. Many people just don’t seem to get the point of it. It was full of misogyny and we should all be taking something from this if you have kids that are young.

BeaAndBen · 27/03/2025 09:48

I found the 4th episode riveting. I was in bits, watching them questioning themselves and each other while trying to still love their son and keep him as part of them. And accepting what he had done - and the sheer horror of that.

It felt very real and raw. Flawed but normal people, an emotionally shut down father who desperately cares but doesn’t know how to do it, papering over the cracks… it was very powerful for me.

CalmingInfluence · 27/03/2025 09:49

EmeraldShamrock000 · 27/03/2025 09:38

@CalmingInfluence I'm sorry that happened to you.

It isn’t the case for these boys. I won't go into details about the parents, I know they are good people.

Ah fair enough I picked that up to be fair

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crumblingschools · 27/03/2025 09:51

Also we used to check DS’s phone when he was younger. I wouldn’t have had a clue what most of those emojis meant. Some of Andrew Tate’s posts can actually be inspiring for young males, so if you saw them you might wonder what the fuss is about him. Obviously many of his posts are horrendous

Many, many teens spend hours in their bedroom gaming, on social media etc. For many years the only console in our house was in the lounge so we had some control over that but I had no control what he saw/played at his mates house, what he saw on his mates’ phones.

stayathomer · 27/03/2025 09:53

I think it’s worth watching if you have teens and even with them but I don’t like that now on mn people are posting about being afraid of what their boys will become when they become teenagers or even a few posting how they’re afraid to have boys!!!

Coffeeishot · 27/03/2025 09:54

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Sorry, I didn't mean to pick you out it was just the phrase that stuck with me, I was meaning all pp who didn't like it.

DustyLee123 · 27/03/2025 09:54

crumblingschools · 27/03/2025 09:44

Also many posters have said the behaviour of the students shown in the school was unrealistic. For many schools that is actually their reality or indeed tamer than what they see every day. Not all schools but many schools. Again this isn’t just down to dysfunctional families

I work in schools and I can say that it was a very realistic shot of what goes on in some schools.

Abstracts · 27/03/2025 09:55

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DustyLee123 · 27/03/2025 09:57

In the opening episode the police entered the house and said the boy was accused of murder. The parents said 'he didn't do anything' (understandably) but they never once asked who had been murdered. That is such bad writing - if police came in and told you there'd been a murder in the local area (so close your child could be involved) one of the main things you'd want to know is who died. It could be someone you know well, or even a family member. No one ever once wondered or questioned who might be dead until it was revealed in the police interview. Such a glaring mistake.

This is what I thought from the off, they would have wanted to know who he was accused of murdering. It made it unrealistic from the off for me.

TopSec · 27/03/2025 09:57

Bodonka · 27/03/2025 07:31

I’m firmly of the belief that everyone who comes into any contact with teenagers/all society really should watch it. It’s good, but also extremely eye opening.

Bodonka, I totally agree with you. I am probably much older than most of the ladies on this forum, but I was shocked as to how much I didn't know about social media and what our children/grandchildren are exposed to. Yes I'm old but so many of my younger friends, parents of my godchildren, were surprised at some of the things they didn't know. We (parents/godparents) had a really good, grown up conversation with our 14 year old godson. He said he was aware but he just shrugged and said that he doesn't post anything on social media, but he does view some of the things on Instagram etc. It was a light hearted conversation, full of laughter and jokes, but serious at the same time, and well worth having (certainly for me). I took away from this that most parents (not all) are totally unaware of what comes through to kids on these smart phones. If nothing else, this program has prompted conversations that all parents should have with their children (if they don't already)

RampantIvy · 27/03/2025 09:58

I think the fact that it has sparked off discussion about the potential negative influences of social media can only be a good thing.

A pp who said that all teenagers know you shouldn't send dodgy photos is woefully naive. It still happens in spite of all the warnings.

FairlyTired · 27/03/2025 09:58

Not really. The first episode is a good insight into an arrest, second a reasonably interesting dramatised school scene, third quite a slow repetitive focus on psychology with 2 character dialogue for majority. Fourth episode absolute flop and quite boring with no real conclusion.

Coffeeishot · 27/03/2025 09:59

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I don't have the patience for that 😀

SlipperyLizard · 27/03/2025 10:05

I enjoyed the first episode, but I felt it went a bit “that wouldn’t happen” and slightly drawn out from there on in.

Episode 4 was quite boring at times, and the fact that the dad clearly is abusive (albeit not physically) makes me wonder what the writer & Stephen Graham consider “normal”. The way the mum & daughter cower from his anger and appease him to keep the peace, but no one mentions the impact on a teen boy of seeing his father treat the women in his life like that. The mum mentions his quick temper in the van I think, but that’s about it.

I fear my daughters ending up with someone like the dad in that show, and hate the fact that his behaviour isn’t seen as part of the problem at all.

Abstracts · 27/03/2025 10:06

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