Midwife has not turned up to see us

[CalmFawn]

12days post birth with my daughter. Give birth and had a 4th degree tear (seems to be healing quite well but I need stitches to be checked at this visit) . Breastfeeding but my baby only lost 4% weight at day 3. Due to be weighed during this visit.

although I feel like I’m doing very well ( have a very supportive family and husband), I suffered with post partum psychosis with my previous daughter. Ended up admitted to a mother and baby unit so I am classed as needing additional support.

day 10 - visit was due but they rung to say they were too busy and I was a low priority. I said fine and they said they’d call tomorrow.

day 11. Again too busy and they’d call tomorrow.

day 12 - waited all day today again and no phone call or anything. Rang the contact number at 4pm and the phone was turned off. Rang the birthing unit (where they have a vase) and said I didn’t have a name next to my mine so I wasn’t allocated anyone. They couldn’t tell me when I’d have a visit or anything.

I’ve spent 3 days at home waiting and still no visit. I gave questions, breastfeeding latch issues and I’m not feeling great mental health wise.

am I right to be annoyed or is this normal practice for community midwives????

It’s awful, I’m so sorry and hope you get some support from them soon. Congratulations 💐

Did the Perinatal team get involved during your pregnancy? They should definitely be seeing you after delivery, never mind the midwife. You would be considered a high risk new mum and need the extra support and monitoring. Anyway, congratulations on your baby and do get in touch with the GP if you have any concerns. I am shocked that there has been no review by the mental health team.

Congrats on the birth OP.

I'm afraid I don't know what the norm is, as never made it far enough to give birth.
Rang the birthing unit (where they have a vase) What does this mean?

Sorry I can't help, but it doesn't sound good enough and a hopeful bump for you x

Oh sorry, I meant a base. They have an office on the unit

Can you phone someone (GP, midwife, ward???) and ask once more, and ask if they have a policy on ‘vulnerable mothers’ (or whatever the wording might be) and could they forward it to you? That might focus their minds a bit. And then follow it up in writing, maybe copy them all into the same email?

They need to be really on the ball, what if you had no support and were feeling like you were sliding downhill with your mental health?

Unacceptable! I'd be filing a very polite complaint. Missing one day is poor, but sometimes things happen. But 3 days in a row. Outrageous. A lot can happen in 3 days.

Firstly, congratulations

Oh I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I also had psychosis with my first and so was at risk with the others. You should be being supported by health care professionals.
Could you call your local health visiting team in the morning? Not that you should have to.

Do you feel OK mentally? Are you and dh aware of signs? Just in case. We're you under specialist midwives? Is there a local unit you can call?

Definitely not being unreasonable.

I’d suggest focussing on the bits you need, and call the birthing unit back saying you’re concerned about your tear and stitches, breastfeeding and you’re thinking you’ll need to stop (even if you don’t, that should get their kpi ears on) and baby’s weight. What can you / they do about it. If you’d be up for going to the birthing unit they can suggest that.

I’d hazard a guess someone has seen the ‘not first time’ bit and assumed you can look after yourself.

oh no OP. That is not good.

do you have a husband or significant other who can phone the birthing unit AND the GP and create merry hell?

Sad to say they may listen to an irate man worried about the mother of his children.

also he needs to do it immediately. Where I live the community MW team sign you off around 2 weeks after birth, unless there is a problem. And then they only extend it to 4 weeks (this was me with PFB).

in any case, as another poster mentions, you should be under the perinatal team.

your OH / best mate / mum needs to make some calls - lots of calls - and get you front of mind. S/he could take the “call every hour until someone visits” approach…… worked for us anyway.

congratulations on your new baby and I hope you get the support you need asap.

I came on here expecting YABU.

But.

This is shit care and I’m so sorry it’s happened to you. I would suggest you call the birthing unit back and say you expect a visit tomorrow morning and you’d like the matron for community midwifery services to contact you tomorrow.

You are not asking for big things - you are asking for the bare minimum from a service you pay for. You are extremely high risk and have a perineal wound that needs looking at if nothing else.

No this is not normal. They must have extremely poor staffing levels but this isn't good enough.
I would call your maternity triage line in the morning as you can call for advice 28 days post birth. Explain that you have had no support from the midwives and still have no plan for them to visit. They can either contact them to escalate the situation or invite you in for a check. Explain you have questions about baby's latch and presumably baby hasn't been weighed since day 3.

Hope all goes well for you and you can get some care and support soon.

In my area of London the appointment around the 2 week mark is just to check on the baby’s cord and to sign the baby off.

Do you have a feeding helpline where you are? There are usually clinics you can drop in for help, they are usually much more knowledgeable than midwives.

Yanbu, absolutely ridiculous that they say you are low priority given your medical history

Nope, nope, nope. This is how people "slip through the net" and things go wrong. YANBU and I agree with the PP who said your partner needs to be advocating for you here too, you do not need additional stress. They should be all over you like a rash with your history.

None of this is to say that anything will go wrong, so please don't panic, but there's support you are potentially missing out on here. Please lean on your family and friends, and enjoy your gorgeous new baby. Wishing you very very best of luck.

I don’t know what’s worse..
Waiting at home or the mums who have to travel to them.

My sister had to go back to the hospital for all postnatal appointments as midwives didn’t make home visits. I thought it was a joke asking mums to travel back and forward one day after giving birth.

Firstly congratulations! But this is awful I’m so sorry OP! I think I was ‘discharged’ from midwife care at 10days after birth and essentially passed over to the HV team so could explain why you are not allocated to anyone? However you definitely should have had the appt and them explain all of this to you. I would call your health visiting team / GP / midwife unit and explain the above. Wishing you all the best

That’s really shit OP, so sorry.
If you post about your breastfeeding issues someone may be able to help.
Hope you raise hell over this, it’s not acceptable.

Yep I was expected back at the hospital 4 days post c section for an appointment as they wouldn’t come to me

I think they can keep you on their books longer if they need to. I was discharged with no issues one of my births and kept on longer as baby was losing weight for the other birth (I think 3 weeks)

OP do you have a mental health birth plan? Given your history, you should have one.

This isn't good enough, they need to be helping you. Can you (or better, your husband or mum) call and tell them you are struggling and they need to make the visit.

You're absolutely right to be frustrated! You’ve been patient, but after three days of waiting, with no communication, that’s really not okay—especially given your history and the fact that you need support now. I'd push harder—call again, explain your situation firmly, and if they still don’t respond, consider reaching out to your GP or health visitor instead. You deserve proper care, and they shouldn’t be leaving you hanging like this!

Update that they finally showed up today!

she did apologise and said I’d slipped through the net. I am supposed to have input from the mental health team but they forgot to let them know i had delivered my baby.

thankfully they came out today and support seems to be falling in place!

Ues this is very common now. No community midwives at all in some places. Then when you traipse 20 miles to hospital you don't even see a qualified hcp. Not ideal after a c.section.

My mum said they used to visit her daily for months after (midwives and health visitors) and you had way more support. She couldn’t believe I had 2 appointments in totally. She was expecting 2 a week for the first 6 months haha!!

also she stayed in for 10 days after birth and couldn’t believe I had surgery and kicked out in 24 hours. Oh to have a baby in the 80s or 90s sounds like a dream